I have a 17 yr. old daughter who just barely graduated from H.S. I managed to get her into CSUEB with a 4 yr.?

Question

scholarship, she has a mild LD, with all that said she also has been a victim of incest by her natural father when she was 3 and my brother when she was 15, now she's into boys particularly the thugs in my neighboorhood, I keep trying to tell her they mean her no good and that she's nothng but a piece of a** to them, just a few weeks ago I caught her in my house with one of those thugs, I called the cops but that didnt do any good, he got away, then she has them climbing through her bedroom window for sex, I'm at my wits end, then last week she got kicked out of the summer program at the college, so I've decided to send her to JobCorps, hopefully she can get her life toghether, I'm tired of yelling and preaching, she's driving me crazy, I dont know why she is intent on being slutty...Can anyone help me please, I'm desperate.....

Answer 1

You failed her and she resents it, so she's acting out. In her mind you didn't protect her from being raped when she was 3, and then you failed her again by letting it happen again when she was 15. That's two times in her life when she needed you most and you weren't there. Now, it's not entirely your fault, but she doesn't see it that way. You have no credibility where she is concerned and since she's already used and abused, she doesn't care what these guys do to her. You all need counseling.

Answer 2

To be robbed of her innocence really is a let down. She is probably not able to have respect for herself in all forms, mentally, spiritually and physically. That's also why she is failing, without you there she would have failed anyway. Something is really wrong here if she is letting herself go like this. Talk to her, instead of yelling and preaching. Talk to her face to face and ask her to tell you why she is allowing herself to get hurt. Also ask what is making her lose motivation for school. Talk to her and tell her that you are there for her and that your not going to give up on her because you love her and care about her. Allow her to talk and at the same time listen to what she has to say. You must also ask her what is there to be done so that both our lives can be better. See what happens and maybe she may become open and willing to talk.

Answer 3

I don't know how to say this nicely. She's too old to be living off you anymore. Kick her out. I wouldn't handle that if I were you. All she's doing is using you to feed her and give her a place to stay. She obviously doesn't appriciate anything you've done for her throughout the years. She's been abused sexually and emotionally, so that probably has something to do with her bad behaviour. She needs counseling, and you need to give her a ultimatium. 2 weeks I'd say, then she needs to have her stuff packed and OUT of YOUR house. Tell her you love her, which is obvious to me, but let her know that her time taking advantage of you is up. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Where were you when she was being molested by her dad, and your brother? Did she ever have a real Dad that could show her what real love is all about? And you ask why she's slutty. She's looking for love the wrong way.

Just do me a favor and don't blame her for her actions, the blame belongs elsewhere and her self esteem is already low.

Answer 5

girl you are doing the right thing sending her to JobCorps. Hopefully those boys can't get to her there and they can turn her life around and stay on the right track. You are doing right. maybe to see your minister. and also a psych. for therapy.

Answer 6

i think because of the abuse she has been through has her asking for the wrong attention. she wants someone or in this case anyone to make her feel important even though its the wrong kind. i would try counseling.