if therapy is designed to chip away at your belief system, why should i engage in it? because my belief?

Question

system is my coping mechanism and has whats got me this far through my life.. so it makes me think that therapy will undermine me and who iam as a person, how can that help?
im 30 years old with borderline personality disorder

Answer 1

Here is your problem this may be the reason for all of your problems. You ask so many questions about so many problem and have stated your unhappiness and feelings of lack of control of yourself and your life. I have said this exact thing before and until you get so fed up and feel so low and then realize that something isn't right and has to change.First like most including myself usually will first blame those around us like our parents or anyone, and after a while one will realize that you can't change the other person and no matter what you do to them you wont find happiness. Then once you become fed up with that and are still looking for a change you will have to look in yourself, you are the only one you can change.

The coping mechanism you have developed as I did was effective and worked for the time when you developed it but, now things have changed and you are an adult and those skills are no longer effective. They can actually prevent you from being who you want to be,and being who you want to be.

If you are not where or who you want to be and want to change you can only change yourself. You have to want it and know you need it in order for it to work.

Answer 2

So, you're afraid!! That's what you saying, whether you think that or not. You have all ready mentioned a borderline personality disorder, how can you be sure that this is not a trait(not wanting to seek therapy).?? of the " borderline personality disorder?? Defense mechanisms can only stay in place for so long, then,all of a sudden, your world is pulled right from underneath you. Why?? Because, your coping ( defense) mechanisms are no longer effective. So, you believe what you want but, this is called "denial". I hope that you realize the impact of NOT seeking professional help, is more harmful than the alternative. Good Luck, Sincerely !!

Answer 3

Far from it chipping away at your belief system, a good therapist will help you look at which of your coping mechanisms are healthy and which are unhealthy. Together, you will be able to strengthen the healthy ones and will learn that, actually, life ain't so bad - and nor are you! I have had borderline personality disorder and/or bi-polar for many many years and have finally been working with a brilliant Gestalt therapist for the last 3 years. BUT, you have to be at the right place in your life where you are willing to delve deep, look honestly at your issues, and work hard at resolving (or at least accepting) your difficulties. Believe me, if you are ready, therapy can make all the difference. For the first time in my 50 years, I accept mySelf for who I am, I enjoy life, and I can see the joy (as well as the pain) in the world around me instead of being so wrapped up in myself that I couldn't see anything else. And no, it doesn't have to take 50 years - it's just that I spent too much time in the 'revolving door' of the mental health system (hospital admissions etc.) and it is only recently that I have been ready (and had the right resource in my therapist) to take a long hard look at myself. I wish you well.

Answer 4

It doesn't chip away at your belief system like you mean. It's more like this. Everyone has irrational beliefs at times; the beliefs tend to be in line with your general personality. (Let's say someone's husband is late coming home from work. A woman who is generally anxious and worried will start calling local ERs, sure that he's been in an accident. A woman who is suspicious may jump to the conclusion that he's having an affair. A woman who has underlying anger issues may jump to the conclusion that he stayed late at work just to annoy her. Etc, etc. But more likely, there was a traffic jam or something way more benign than people tend to imagine.) So therapy helps people look at the beliefs they have that simply are not in line with reality. People's beliefs which are not rational and logical can be about themselves, other people, or the Universe in general. For instance, I must get an "A" in this class or it means I'm stupid. Other people must always give me the attention I deserve. Bad things shouldn't happen to good people. (Must/should is often a give-away that it's an unrealistic expectation.) So more appropriate beliefs incorporate your values and are not demands (must or should.) Like, I'd prefer to do well in this class since education is important to me; Getting attention is important to me so I feel good when people are giving me attention; I feel sad when bad things happen to good people. These are more in line with reality.
So these are the kind of beliefs therapy works on. You'll still be the same person with the same personality. (I mean, basically; little changes happen all time.) You're belief system will only change in that it will be more in line with realtlity.

Answer 5

I've never read, heard, thought that therapy is designed to chip away at your belief system. In therapy, you discover which areas of your thinking/behaving are working well for you and which areas are not working for you... And when you decide the ones that are not working, you find solutions and changes that you want to make. This process is more effective when an objective professional helps you down the path.
As far as your specific disorder, therapy is known to be very helpful with borderlines, and it my opinion the goal is more to help you stabilize and that is always good. (Stabilize as in reduce drama and chaos.)

Answer 6

I can relate exactly. If your worldview is more complex and larger than what a therapist or counsellor can propose, then you're not going to get much benefit from it.

I have bipolar disorder and have read a thorough book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for BP and I can't imagine those things working for me. Since I'm constantly questioninng my own perspecttives and the things around me, trying to "think positive" makes no sense. It can be a sticky situation, especially if there therapist is a "normie".

BUT, when I did go to counselling it was good just to get stuff out, sort of like a cleansing or what have you. It was nice to be able to have a professional stranger that I could just speak freely to. They're not necessarily going to try to reprogram you; they might just give you a new perspective, make suggestions (not commands), and help you realize that you might already have the solutions in your brain but just need help jarring them loose...

Answer 7

You're looking at it from a negative viewpoint. Therapy isn't designed to chip away at your belief system. However, it can help you understand why you feel the way you do, and it can offer you alternative thinking to consider which could give you a whole new outlook on things.

Answer 8

Sometimes we teach ourselves to reinforce the negativity or weeknesses we see in ourselves. Certain therapies help you to chip away at the belief in the harmful or negative things, and help us to reinforce the positive.

You need to speak to your doctor or if you are being offered therapy your first session is usually just talking about how it works.

If you go into it without an open mind, it wont help, so maybe you are not ready. But don't walk away until you look.

Good luck.

Answer 9

Therapy is not about chipping away at your belief system.

You have a rather misguided and incorrect view of how therapy actually works. This article will explain more:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder#Treatment

If you don't want therapy, fine. There's always antidepressants and antipsychotics. However, having a therapy (of any type) could help you lead a richer, fuller life.

Answer 10

Well, I don't know you, so I can't say particualarly... but we have belief systems that we gained from family, society, religions, civic organizations, lots of places. and we build (or don't build) coping mechanisms based on those. maybe therapy would be a good way to take a look at onesself and assess whether one's belief systems are sound, or if they need some tweeking. nobody's perfect!...