Weve been 2gether off&on 4 last 6yr.She was dating this guy 4 a few months but was rarely happy.He's a smooth talker&she fell for it. About 2mo. ago she confided in me that she got pregnant 1st&only time they had sex.She didn't know what to do.She was told by her Dr. she couldnt get pregnant again[she has 2(8&11)].So was this a gift or what?We talked about it alot&she decided to terminate.She couldnt right away though.Days turned to weeks&months and now its too late(personal beliefs)Thats when her whole attitude changed&shes now with HIM¬ happy.Shes scared and doesnt want to alienate him to the point that he abandons his responsiblities.Problem is he knows we are very close and love each other very much.So shes doing what she can to hide our friendship from him.She doesnt want to hurt me,and the baby comes 1st.I dont want to be a problem to her,but I cant imagine life w/o her.How do I let her know that this is killing me&there is no way this can end well 4 any1,if she isnt honest?
2007-07-23 07:01:28 · 15 answers · asked by JustWant2BaDad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She needs to understand she does not need to be with the father for the father to tke care of his child. Legally he will have no choice but to take care of the child financially. If she is happier with you she needs to be with you and go through the court to set up the rules of visitation and financial responsibilty for him and the child. She needs to take this child as a gift. I have a 17 and a 10 year old and was told I couldn't have anymore. I was blessed with another who is now 15 months old. i think she is upset the child isn't yours. She feels like she really messed up and needs to be with him to try and make it right somehow. it will only make it worse for her. You also need to look inside and ask yourself if you could be with her in full trust and love. Be honest with yourself too. It won't be easy since she has already strayed. Sit and talk to her and tell her how you feel. Also tell her she needs to decide what she wants for herself and her baby. It is not good for the child to have parents that are together and not happy. it has dark effects on a child. She needs to understand that and realize by not being with him he can't choose to leave the child. By law he cannot.
2007-07-23 07:14:49 · answer #1 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let her know how you truly feel! Respect her decision what ever it may be and just stand by her! If this guy dose up and run then she know that she can count on you! It sounds like to me that you two be long together but everything happens for a reason. The most that you can do is just be honest with her about how you feel! Let her know that you do understand that the baby dose come first but maybe the can be a way that this could work you the two of you!
2007-07-23 07:19:03 · answer #2 · answered by A Helping Hand! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your name and question solve it all. You wish this was you. Then quit playing around see if she will marry you. If you aren't offering everything don't mess her possibilities up. There should be no sneaking around. It's all or nothing. That would mean accepting this baby as your own and giving unconditional love even if she decides to let him have visitation or whatever. If she says no you will have to give up her friendship and move on.
2007-07-23 07:10:26 · answer #3 · answered by kimberly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to step back. She has made all the decisions based on her needs and wants. If she doesn't want him she could always file for child support. She is with him because that is where she wants to be. Be her friend from a distance and find you someone who will appreciate you.
2007-07-23 07:07:45 · answer #4 · answered by tikababy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she gets around. If you two are in love with each other, then why aren't you together? It doesn't matter whether or not you're the BIOLOGICAL father, just if you raise the child as your own.
2007-07-23 07:05:35 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just hang in there. never stop being her friend, but don't cross the line while she's trying to make it work with the father. if things aren't supposed to work out between them, they won't. then again, she might realize that truly being happy is and will be better for herself and the baby, and come running to you
2007-07-23 07:08:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick her to the curb . 3 kids and how old is she? probably 3 different daddies 2.she's aho doesn't she know about birth controll.she's a hood rat looking for a check
2007-07-23 07:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard but she has to make the final decision.she shoulnt put up with a guy she doesnt love and let her know if she goes out with you,u will be good to the child as well but the decision is hers to make.
2007-07-23 07:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by onel2k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a mom of two, no longer an authority. some women folk have some bleeding some circumstances. yet ordinarily, it fairly is no longer frequent. i could provide your healthcare expert a decision and ask to be seen on the instant, asap. particularly in case you have the different indicators, like cramps, lower back discomfort, and so on. this is larger to be on the secure area. good success.
2016-10-22 10:50:35 · answer #9 · answered by finkle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she should be with him if she really loves you.
Even if he is the father and she is happy with you and you are willing to be there for her and the baby, i think she should tell the truth. She don't need to hide anything it will only make things worst.Really tell her how you feel....
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!
2007-07-23 07:08:55 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋