i spent time and patience on buying a very special person several gifts. either they are really stupid, really idiotic or just selfish and uncaring. What t's me off, i spent alot of time picking out, hand picking out each thing, and didn't buy all these things from a .99 cent store. these were gr8 gifts. why no verbal thank you or a typed or handwritten response is beyond me. i am very mad and angry! not so much on how much i spent by by how this person never thanked me. should i confront this person and tell them how angry and upset i am or should i just leave it alone and wait for a response and could be over reacting? right now i am on fire! if someone took the time and thought so much of me to do this for me, i would be thanking them up the wazoo!
2007-07-23 06:50:46 · 15 answers · asked by b3cuz of iT 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ooooh....too bad
Next time,give me some gifts and I'll thanks ya alot alot and alot !!!
(^,^)
Don't be so sad,she maybe busy,that's all !
2007-07-23 14:57:10 · answer #1 · answered by crystal_heart100 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should definitely be thanked. -The thing about situations like this however when you feel as if you should confront someone about something, you have to be very careful. -You can always confront someone in a way that may damage your relationship with the person. What you should do is come to them calmly and tell them exactly how much time, money and effort went into the gift-giving. -Another way to go about it is, tell one of the people that didn't send you a thank you how disappointed you are in another that hasn't sent you a thank you. -This most likely prompt them, themselves to give you the thank you and also they relay the message to the other person. -You should also take a bit of a breather, how much time actually passed since you gave the gifts? -You can be upset about it all but don't let it affect your relationship with the person.
Also what spadezgurl22 said was really great. -Send a follow up response a weekk or so afterward.
2007-07-23 07:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by monmonth. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several things;
1. People are rude - complete with a sense of entitlement and not a shred of gratitude.
2. People are not taught manners any more.
Additionally:
3. Perhaps you may not mean as much to this person as they mean to you.
4. Perhaps they don't have the words to thank you - although "thank you" is a good start.
5. Perhaps you have overwhelmed them by the complexity and such put into the gifts. Not to mention the costs.
You can't do anything about 1 and 2. BUT you can do something about 3,4 and 5.
Talk to this person and ask if they 1. received the gifts and 2. if they liked them.
You'll have to figure out from inference what the answers to 3-5 are, but it'll be pretty obvious.
2007-07-23 06:59:47 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No reason to confront them at all. It's considered poor etiquette to scold someonw for not formally thanking you --- but omitting a thank you is, yes, very rude.
What they are telling you is that they really won't mind if you don't buy them any more presents, so take that lesson into the future and either 1) knock 'em off your gift list or 2) continue to give them gifts but never with the expectation that you will get a formal thank you.
Next time you see them you can always give them an opportunity to fix their error by saying (politely!!) "did you get the gift I sent?" That's their big opportunity to say thank you.
A caution --- I don't recommend making a habit of keeping track of specific instances of who did or didn't thank you for particular gifts --- it's too easy to develop a habit of grudges and ill will, and it's not really worth the stress --- I have met people who keep track of this in minute detail for many years and I cannot believe they are still nursing an old hurt over a small thing. I do suggest that you can always keep it generally in mind that if you send this person a gift, you will be silly to expect a thank-you because they don't do that. If that is OK with you, then keep giving them gifts. If it isn't OK in your book, you can always choose to spend the same time, energy and money on someone more appreciative.
Is there a romance attached to this problem? Is it someone whose response to your loving gesture is cold and therefore hurtful and disappointing? You don't say so in your message but reading between the lines it sort of sounds that way.
Hope this helps . . .
2007-07-23 07:04:39 · answer #4 · answered by Parrot Eyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Agree with what everyone is telling you... when you give a gift, you shouldn't do it for the thank-you response.
Of course, the recipient should thank you. Regardless if you went to the 99 cent store or to Saks - a thank you is the proper response. But, let ignorance and ill courtesy be on their side, not yours. Let it drop.
Next time, around gift-giving time, you may want to rethink having this person on your list. Unless, you want to give them a gift with truly no strings attached.
2007-07-23 09:27:50 · answer #5 · answered by TC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long has it been since you gave them the gift? i would just wait for a response. i agree, it's incredibley upsetting, but give it a few weeks. they may be really busy and actually have a good reason why they haven't said anything yet. if it still hasn't happened after 3 or 4 weeks, you may want to approach them, in a tactful, nonagressive way. then think twice before getting them something again if they're so unappreciative
2007-07-23 07:01:00 · answer #6 · answered by lily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get that Thank You cards are important - I always send one out.
However, having said that - you should never send a gift expecting something in return even if that something is just a simple thank you. Giving a gift is suppose to be done for selfless reasons and 'expecting' a thank you is selfish.
If you're going to require that people acknowledge your every gift giving effort then don't give them anymore. You're only going to be disappointed time and time again.
2007-07-23 07:00:22 · answer #7 · answered by Debbie G 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you've just scared this person off. Too many gifts, that cost too much and given too soon tend to scare some people away. Looks a little fanatical or desperate. Sorry!
2007-07-23 07:00:28 · answer #8 · answered by Sunshine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be patients.....I spent a $100 on a wedding gift for my cousin wedding, 6 months later I got a Thank You Card in the mail from them....
I don't think a gift shouldnt have to be responded back, if you gave someone a gift...if a gift you offer them...just be patients and might sent you a card or see you the next time thanking you.....they might have alot of gifts to thanks others back....
If you gave a gife to someone in person, thats different...
2007-07-23 07:01:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax, and wait for a response, if there's none, then just forget about it, at least then you'll know what type of person she is. It's best to give without expecting anything in return.
2007-07-23 06:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok, deep breathe. how long ago did u gift? usually I would wait a week for a response. after a week, follow up and ask "so did u like the gifts i got for you?" then wait and see their response. have alittle forgiveness maybe they got caught up and just blatantly forgot. its not polite but it might be their reasoning. good luck!
2007-07-23 07:02:21 · answer #11 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋