I am currently living with the most annoying, jerky, self centered drunk who unfortunately fathered our son. (not married) Some days he's tolerable, but most the time not. He is constantly at me about one thing or another, and when he drinks his Jack and Cokes after work, or any other time, he becomes a real a$$ (verbally abusive in front of our son - it doesn't effect me, but I am worried that our son will pick up on his mouth soon) . Anyhow, we moved away from him for 2 months to live with my parents earlier this year. However, my parents live in a retirement community that doesn't allow children under 18 stay for more than 3 mos. So currently I can't go back. I don't want my parents to move because I am 35 and they shouldn't have to move out of their community b/c of my problems. I am working so I do get an income, however, it's not enough to actually get a place of my own unless it was in a questionable part of town. Bottomline, I've had it with him and his crazy ways...any ideas
2007-07-23 06:26:28 · 8 answers · asked by METme? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
FYI - I understand I created this situation, and I understand I need to get myself out of it. I am just looking for suggestions. I do not want my parents to help me out, but at that time there was a desperate situation so it had to happen. I am not looking for pity - just a good alternative.
2007-07-23 06:45:59 · update #1
What I mean by "it doesn't affect me" is that I am not an emotional mess from his words. I know he's the one with the issues and not me. I am not in love with him and I do not care for him. I also do not seek pity or compassion. I will make it out and this will happen. In the matter of 6 mos, I found a job in my career field, found amazing daycare near my job (knowing it would be easily accessible to work not where I live) and I bought a car. 3 out of 4 things I've accomplished. Moving out is a big one, I am just looking for options. Thanks
2007-07-23 06:59:52 · update #2
You need to get help from your local family services center... You may also want to find a church nearby to help you out. There are also lots of nonprofits that help both verbally and physically abused women and their children with everything from shelter to legal services. Bottom line is, you need to get yourself and your son out of there. He's absorbing more than you realize and it's not just the words that you have to worry about him repeating. The longer you continue to stay in that situation, the more likely he is to repeat this pattern as an adult. By staying you're basically telling him that it's ok for him to treat women like that. Good luck and God bless you.
2007-07-23 07:08:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of the price of living common law. The best part is you can walk away without a lot of baggage. Yes put your child first and protect him from such an environment. You probably will link up again with someone else and hopefully you will be a little more diligent on your choice of who you give yourself to. Don't look for the short term "fun for the moment" but look at the long term, look for the good qualities you want in someone. Perhaps to day you can find work that will pay better so as you can meet your rent. Look for some kind of govt assistance, see what's available. Ask God to step into your situation and show you a solution, He loves you and wants to help.
2007-07-23 13:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by Steiner 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can it NOT affect you??? I don't get it!
I have a very difficult time feeling compassion for someone who stays in or goes back to an abusive relationship. (My sister did this for 18 years.) There is always help for people like you, but you have to commit and be serious about the situation. I agree that you need to get your son out before he learns this behavior if he hasn't already.
Call Social Services in your county to get help.
2007-07-23 13:50:35 · answer #3 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a grown woman, you shouldn't be even talking about your parents rescuing you. You have yourself in a horrible situation, and you are the only one who can get yourself out of it. I think not moving to the questionable part of town stuff is simply an excuse. If you wanted to get out badly enough, it wouldn't matter. Bottom line, you need to get another job or live on your present income and get out, or stop complaining about it and learn to make the bed you lie in.
2007-07-23 13:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go talk to family services. They will help you and your child. they will also help you pursue legal action to collect child support from this Loser. You could also contact a womans shelter for immediate help. Remember physical abuse and verbal abuse are both inexcusable, and intolerable. Stay away from him forever, for the sake of you and your child. There are a lot of kind and wonderful men out there, but you will never find them as long as you are attached to this person. walk away and never look back!!!
2007-07-23 13:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by wheezie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an associate producer with NBC universal and we have a new talk show that is for people in situations like yours. If you want to talk we would like to help call me toll free at 877-836-3405.
Thanks,
Caroline
2007-07-23 17:30:30 · answer #6 · answered by mary s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to your dept. of children and families and get on the emergancy housing list. My sister-in-law did this and recived a section 8 appartment in decent time. i hope this helps you.
2007-07-23 16:13:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him if he doesnt cut it out your going to leave if he doesnt stop go live wit a relative mom dad bro sis ne body then he'll know u mean and he'll stop
2007-07-23 13:41:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋