Question for EVERYONE HERE: How do we handle vulnerable children who stray into this group?

Question

It has been pointed out that Yahoo's guidelines say a child must be 13 or over to participate here.

As many have already stated, it is -dangerous- to teach a child to trust a stranger on the internet, and we are -all- strangers to any child who strays in here.

It is very easy for a child to find us without parents being aware of it, it only takes five minutes or so.

I ask all of you to think abou tthis, and ask yourself if your child was lost in a group of strangers, what would you want?

Were my son alive, I'd want every one of those strangers ot say "go find your parents, it is not safe here".

Taking advantage of a child is the hallmark of a predator, not anyone whose compassion embraces the child.

Think hard. In the case of the ten year old girl from last night, Yahoo has -still- not removed the question, despite the obvious Child Protection issue involved. She is still vulnerable to harm.

Think hard, people. That could be your child.

We can each take appropriate action according to what we know. Obviously we cannot when we are not aware of the facts. Yes, her parents are ultimately responsible, but how much compassion is asked of us to steer her back to them rather than let her become another missing child. Predators use the internet to make initial contact with their vistims. Predators travel when they feel assured they will get what they want.

Wake Up!

Answer 1

Interesting how many people answered by only talking about who is to blame.

That's not a solution.

*****
We have no way of telling if anyone here is as they present themselves - gender, age, religion, anything.

Yes, sometimes we can make a guess based on their style of writing, but we cannot be sure.

And that being the case, it behooves us to ALWAYS behave here as if there were kids in on the conversations.

AND to NEVER suggest private correspondence to anyone who either says they are a child, or whom we have reason to suspect is a child.

I, for one, appreciate the reminder, Orion.

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You know, there this odd disconnect when it comes to matters of parental responsibility. Some folks here seem to be of the opinion that if the parents of young kids don't properly supervise their children's online activity, that the kids kind of deserve what they get...and at one and the same time they think that school libraries should remove books that offend their sensibilities.

Answer 2

Wow, Orion, you're really pushing this hard, aren't you?

That's great!

Frankly, before now I hadn't really thought about this being an issue in this group or other YA groups. Where I've known or suspected that a minor has been posting, I've warned them about talking to people online where they seemed to explicitly be asking people to contact them directly. Probably, I (and others) should do that *every* time a person identifies themselves as a minor. Also, it might be good to make more active use of the report feature. I know it seems like people are "telling" on others when they do this, but sometimes, as in this case, it's necessary.

Not sure how this would work, but maybe the regular posters could come up with some sort of agreement on what course of action to take when a child posts a question?

Answer 3

Parents have to do a better job of supervising their children online.

For a long time many parents parked their kids in front of he TV and let the TV be the baby sitter. Now I fear many parents have this same attitude about the Internet. The kids have computers in their bedrooms. They go online alone and do whatever they want.

Then you have sites like MySpace geared toward teens that offer extra privileges to those over 18. So naturally you have many teens claiming to be 18. If somebody claims to be 18, they are likely to be treated like an adult, as in suggestive comments and so on. I know for a fact that there are 14 and 15-y-olds on MySpace claiming to be 18.

And the parents do not have a clue.

How do we respond? Well, of course we can tell those who admit their age that they should not be online alone. But I guarantee you there are others that age on here who never mention their age.

I think we should all understand that it is impossible to know how old the person we are responding o really is, and just be careful what we say.

Answer 4

So sorry to hear about your son. You seem very upset about this, as you should be. Sometimes I don't understand Yahoo - I had a question deleted because I used a word from the female anatomy that starts with a U and end with a terus.

I have already reported abuse on the question - this question should certainly be deleted and those who invited the girl to a chat room should be kicked off. This is the number one issue we should be dealing with on the Internet because it is the number one thing that can potentially hurt a child.

Orion is not overreacting - there is no such thing as being too cautious. I have children and am very wary of this stuff - I think the adults on this site should take a step back and realize when we brush it off as being over zealous, we are adding to the problem.

Answer 5

I think a large part of it has to do with the parents. They just aren't involved with their kids these days. I know each and every site my daughter views on our computer (she's 10), and the computer is in the living room, in full view from any of the chairs/couches in the room, as well as from the kitchen/dining room. She is also limited on the amount of time she's allowed to spend on the computer.

Does this excuse the behavior of the "predators" out there, not by a long shot. I'm just saying, if parent's were more involved, some (not all, mind you) of these problems would be alleviated completely.

Answer 6

i'm really sorry that i missed the question. i answered a question earlier today by a kid (although i'm not really sure he was a kid. just the way he talked), but i was very surprised by the amount of people that told him to go behind his parents back to do something.
this question was about studying the bible, but what if it had been about something else? i would never tell a kid to disobey their parents (unless there was abuse involved). i told him to listen to his parents.

when my grandson is at my house i put a block on the tv and he is not allowed on the comp. without supervision.
there are too many sick people in the world to trust someone i have never met with my grandsons safety.

you're right, and we should all keep an eye out and do our best to protect these kids if we can.

bb

edit
i'm very sorry about your son.

Answer 7

I'm all for broadening your horizons and expanding your knowledge but Y!A is not the place for a 10 year old child to do that. What's even sadder is that a 10 year old is sitting in front of a computer instead of being outside playing with their friends.

I'm 26 and i've seen things here (admittedly, not many) that made me feel sick. It's disgusting to think that a kid may have seen something similar.

I think you handled the situation perfectly, and i hope that others follow your lead.

Peace

Answer 8

I cant agree more with all you have said Orion. Especially the last line. People somehow think they are immune to the world?!!

If my child was on a forum such as this, I would hope someone like yourself would be there to send her on her way and report report report, until she was forced out.

As a mother i would not like my child to be here in the first place, let alone have strangers think they know what is best for my child!

It is not someone elses job to teach a child, our only responsibility to someone elses child is to ensure their safety.
Which you have done.
Blessings Orion
Ariel

Answer 9

I definitely agree with you. Children are prone to harm on Yahoo, on Yahoo Answers and on any website for that matter.

If it were my child, I would want strangers to give them advice on a more suitable answers website for kids - but I would have a family safety firewall program, like Windows Live Family Safety or a similar website management system, to keep my kids safer on the internet.

Answer 10

You raise a really excellent thought. I did not read a question from a 10 yr old, but, I get the gist of what must have happened. Sometimes, we forget that children CAN get to this site, and sometimes, the people can be less than appropriate with answers. Let us all try hard to only help and not to harm.