How can they be so sure about this? And why do they feel the need to tell the girl they're with? Telling a girl this only makes her feel like she's wasting her time being with him. It's so frustrating. Especially for females that don't want to just be someone to pass the time with. Those of us that want more, that one day want to get married, it sucks when a guy tells us that.
2007-07-23 03:30:48 · 30 answers · asked by JuneBug 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's making sure he is not going to disappoint you up front. If you are in it for marriage and he isn't, at least he's honest and up front about it. Find out WHY they feel this way, maybe too many people he knows got divorced and got screwed in the divorce. Just a blatant statement like that is just a turn off. If they said, I don't think marriage is for me, at least they realize that some people do get married and are happy. Saying never sounds like he doesn't believe that marriage can be happy.
2007-07-23 03:36:19 · answer #1 · answered by Linda K 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I didn't know many did. I said it for over thirty years and I am still 100% certain of it. And I always tell any woman I date so that she knows up front. The fact is that if she's wanting to get married and looking at me for that then she is wasting her time. By telling her up front I'm just trying to help her 'not' waste her time. And if if she wants something else I'm not stopping her from going to find it.
So would you prefer to find out after 4 or 5 years in a relationship that the guy knew all along he was never getting married?
+++
I can only guess that none of the people here answering this are in the category of "never going to get married" because not one of you are even close to getting it.
MIA your answer was particularly humorous. "What guy wants to be the 40 year old single man with no kids?" The answer is me and most of my friends. Oh and there are a few women also among them. We are all around and some well over 40 and none want to get married or have kids.
2007-07-23 03:33:17 · answer #2 · answered by elurle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys want to make it clear up front that you shouldn't have any expectations. Then, of course, if they should change their minds YOU are the wonder woman that made them see the light. The guys I have been with are so much more open and fun if they think you're not interested in long term. Then all of a sudden, you ARE long term. Marriage shouldn't always be the "be all end all"...have fun and relax!
2007-07-23 03:36:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, when a man tells you such a thing they are telling you that they just want to use you without any chance of commitment. They are telling you that you are not the one. I suspect that most men keep the marriage option open for the right woman. There are a small percentage of men who are destined never to marry because of their phobia against commitment. You really ought not to waste your time on such people. When you hear such a thing, turn around and run as fast as you can.
2007-07-23 03:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cus they're probably Scared...! Its True When ur Just Friends Its Like Cool Then U Become Bf & Gf Then Its More <3 Love But guys think when u get married its SO Serious!!! Even tho It kinda Is But i don't think they realise that ur still the same person?
2007-07-23 03:35:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I waited for my boyfriend to grow up before we got engaged. Actually our way was pretty weird compared to everyone elses. We both weren't that ready to commit, he was very frustrated to because he never was tied down before and we were both really young. I told him we'd seperate for a month or two and date different people. At first he was uneasy about it and he thought it would just be wrong. I told him if he didn't take the opportunity i'd break up with him for good. He took it and two months later we messages eachother then met up for dinner. We told eachother everyTHING even the details about people we slept with. Yes, even that privilage. It was like a summer holiday for us and we were just trying to discover if there was somthing better or atleast gain a little freedom before tying the not. Suprisingly that experiance took us even closer together. We both started liking these people, but of corse we loved eachother. We both left them and went on a euro/world trip on the money he saved as a present for me. Now we're engaged.
My point is not all guys can commit right away because they get scared at the idea of being with the same girl all their life. it's like having one channel on cable. it's boring. Unless he really likes the show then he will not keep his cable and he'll get a satelite.
(sorry for bad spelling I'm foreign and english spelling isn't my thing)
2007-07-23 03:41:19 · answer #6 · answered by anastasia k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok,
1) This is a guy-defence mechanism, we don't want the lady to get any ideas to quick, we want her to know we're taking it slow so are not interested in marriage.
2) Guys are evolutionarily wired to be with as many women as possible, women are wired to be with one man and raise a family with him.
You need to ask (when the relationship is super-serious) do you mean forever, or just for the time being?
Gauge the reaction, remember some men will lie with time being as they have a fear of loss.
Oh, and personally, I might spend my life with one women, who knows, but I will never get married. I don't believe in religion, so watch out for us evil atheists. Or change the question to legally joined as opposed to marriage.
Peace.
2007-07-23 03:36:05 · answer #7 · answered by soupeetwist 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know I always wanted to grow up and get married and have kids but I always told my girlfriend that I didn't want to. Why? Because growing up, my family always told me, "Don't get married, you'll regret it..." and blah blah blah. So those ideals got into my head, and although I loved her so much and knew I wanted to be with her forever, I just told myself I didn't ever want to grow up and have a family because that's what was thrown into my head for so many years. Don't think he really doesn't want to get married. I mean, yeah some people really don't, but most just say it as a cover.
2007-07-23 03:34:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Most men with this attitude have seen toooo many women with tooo much baggage, and don't want to deal with it. Eliminate your baggage, This relationship now.
Forget your previous problems with others. Deal with what 's happening right now. Check out the other comments and you will see what I mean.
2007-07-23 03:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because marriage is a legal contract between two parties. It turns out though that it is a contract which if it ever were to be dissolved (i.e. divorce) the man is the one that stands to lose the most.
2007-07-23 03:34:34 · answer #10 · answered by acydskull 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋