If both want it, and they are 14 [[the girl]] and 15 [[the boy]], is it wrong??? This is going on with my friend right now and i dunno if i should support her or try to convince her not to.
2007-07-23 02:54:42 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
well you see more to it is her family is moving and she wants to stay with him and also they really really want it and feel like they are ready for this.
2007-07-23 03:01:17 · update #1
Wow that's a tough one. First of all, I would assume they are already pregnant, I can't imagine someone "trying" at this age.
So, I would say, it totally depends on their support system. I think of 14 year olds as children themselves. When I was 14 I would have been a terrible mother. I would have thought I would be a good mom, but now that I am 27 and I have 2 children and my husband has a good job and I can see how hard it really really is, I can tell you, 14 is too young.
But it's not impossible. If they have a wonderful, supportive, financially stable family, it could be OK. It depends alot on her parents. Will they welcome a baby and her into their lives and checkbook? or will she be shunned and unaccepted?
She needs to decide if she would really like to be a mom at 14, when she isn't yet done being a pre-teen.
2007-07-23 03:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by Katie C 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
OMG WAY too young. What are they thinking! I understand how hard it is to move away from you boyfriend, but trying to have a baby is going too far. I would find some information on the internet about girls that have baby's too young so she knows all the responsiblities she is going to have to face at such a young age. Where will they get money? Is he going to work at McDonalds without an education? If they love each other as much as they say they do, they will find a way to stay together and have a long distance relationship.and save up money to be able to see each other a few times a year. Bringing a baby into their lives IS NOT going to be for the better, it will make their lives a nightmare at that age!!!!!!! Get info. for them so they are getting educated on what a bad idea this is. Good luck.
2007-07-23 04:16:18 · answer #2 · answered by sun day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, deciding when to have the baby during the age of the couple is very easy since they are high in the 'love' or discovery of their anatomy but maybe you should try to to bring up the topic on how will the future be for both of them after the baby?
You also need to tell your friends that having or making the baby is easy but how about the financial, psychological, health and physical needs of their baby? If they really love each other, tell her that shouldn't the baby they both have should also be taken cared of well???? If they do not care for the baby's future, you should tell your friend frankly that both of them are selfish and it will just make their situatuan worst.
Suggest her that she must take the moving away thing as a challenge and chance to have the test of distance and time for her and her boyfriend, if they will survive after a year or two, good! If not, well, at least they both did not put an angel through hell by the mistake they are willing to do now.... if you are a real friend, you should tell them the realistic thing that may occur, along the process they might be angry with you, but in the long run, they would realize that you really care so you have to inform them about the reality and possibilities......
Better to be prepared for the worst than to be in the clouds at their age!
2007-07-23 03:19:44 · answer #3 · answered by blackpetal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fourteen and fifteen are way too young to be having a baby!
It sounds as if the maternal instinct has 'kicked in'
People this age are not ready to devote all the time and frustration AND constant effort required to raise a child.
An Infant requires constant attention !
CONSTANT ATTENTION ! No time for anything else---just the baby.
Young people do not have the maturity it requires to nurture and care for a baby. Nor do they have the financial racecourses to care for a child---babies are expensive in every way.
A child need sooo much more that a bottle an a stroller.
A sweet looking sleeping baby, can be a tormentor the rest of the day and nigh-often all night -then all day then all night again.
Babies are PEOPLE, Babies need mature parents who are ready to devote the rest of there lives to being parents,
The first several years of a child's life requires many more hours of effort than a young couple are mentally able to devote to them. A parents life is a life devoted to caring for children . That means very Little time for the life of a teenager.
A BABY IS A PERSON!!!!!!
2007-07-23 03:15:18 · answer #4 · answered by Bemo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting pregant just to hang on to him is wrong. It always abckfires, and you end up alone and raising a child on your own. However, in this situation, when a 14 year old is dying to have a child with a 15 year old just because he is moving away is totally wrong. She is either trying to find some kind of responsibility to have because she is not getting the attention at home. So she is trying to find something or someone to take care of to fill in the void. Now as for the age she is thinking of how she might lose him because he is moving away. It is not right for her to want to have a child to hold on to him. If it was meant to be, they will find a way to work it out. Having a baby only complicates things. Tell her to do a litlle more growing first, and then when she is ready for a baby, God will give her one. Now is not her time.
2007-07-23 05:20:33 · answer #5 · answered by christmas5angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How young is too young?
I'll give you a list that shows, in my opinion, what makes a person too young to have a baby:
~If either person is not yet out of school
~if either person is too young to hold down a job, rent an apartment or drive a car
~if either person still lives with his or her parents.
~if either person is too young to legally have sex
~if either person is not emotionally mature enough to care for a screaming newborn 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
~if the two people are not in a steady, mature, loving relationship. At the age of 14 and 15 that is IMPOSSIBLE!
There you go... 14 is FAR too young to have a baby. Plain and simple.
2007-07-23 06:52:51 · answer #6 · answered by mornnglry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend might already be pregnant and she's making things up to make it be "okay". But, if she is not yet pregnant.... Has your friend ever babysat kids before? Find someone with an infant and have them spend a day or two with them, maybe even spend the night with a young one. Some highschools have a parenting program where you are assigned a baby and have to care for it. If she does get pregnant she'll have to drop out of her regular school and attend an alternative school. She won't get to go out anymore like a kid her age should be doing. My teenagers have a 6 year old brother and I always say to them "do you want to be responsible for one of these little guys right now?" They always say. "No way". Getting pregnant to keep a guy shows some serious emotional challenges. Your friend needs some counseling. Kids are having too serious of relationships at too young of age. I wasn't allowed to really date till I was 16 and I followed through with that with my step daughters and my step son. Please find your friend some help.
2007-07-23 04:09:29 · answer #7 · answered by litlredm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, too young is when you can't support it financially or mentally. And 14 and 15 is very young - maybe try talking to your friend about what is going on in her life to make her want a baby. Sometimes young girls seek attention and love when they desire a baby at such a young age. I hope your friend makes the right decision - just be there for her....
2007-07-23 02:58:33 · answer #8 · answered by Lady 205 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well 14 and 15 for sure is to young! They are still babies themselves and her body is in no way ready to support 9 months of changes and the turmoil of a pregnancy!
You should support her to NOT have a baby at this time. She will miss out on her youth and this baby will miss out on a mother is ready ... FULLY ready to have him/her. Teen mothers think they can do it on their own and many do, do not get me wrong. But at some point the novelty will wear off and she may not want to raise this child, or she'll abuse it, I am not saying shes going to, him either, but statics prove teen parents are NOT ready physically and emotionally!
Good luck to you, your friend and her boyfriend!
2007-07-23 04:28:46 · answer #9 · answered by PSYCHO DAISY MAE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anything under 18 is too young. how can a 14 -15 year old support a child and themselves they cant get jobs and they have no education. focus on school. and boys later. teenagers dont even need sex,. sex is for married adults who are able to handle the consequences of it a teenager cannot handle the emotional aspects or the financial ones enjoy being a kid
2007-07-23 04:36:32 · answer #10 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋