I'm an administrative assistant in an open-office enviroment. There is a man that works nearby that is always coming over and bothering me. He comes behind my desk, picks things up ON MY DESK, and comes over and leans on my cubical and stares down my shirt. Everytime I wear a new shirt or change my haircolor he always comes over and starts asking me about it. He walks by me and says things like "Still happily married?" and laughs it off.
It's really bothering me. I've tried to ignore him and give him one word answers. My HR person is aware of my discomfort with this guy and he's already been spoken to once about bothering me while I'm trying to work.
He's in his late fifties (I'm 24) and he gives me really slimy vibes and makes me very uncomfortable. What should I do???
2007-07-23 02:43:06 · 15 answers · asked by Kitten 4 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Administrative and Office Support
First off, I would say trust your instincts. There's a reason why this guy feels creepy to you and your gut knows it. Don't ever put yourself in a vulnerable position with this character.
Second, you need to have an in depth conversation with your boss and the HR person. Go to your boss first and tell him/her exactly what you stated here: he is bothering you by hitting on you; he makes inappropriate remarks your marriage and so forth and he's stepping way out of bounds by looking down your blouse. Discuss how you've talked to HR but nothing has changed yet.
You need to make it very clear that this man is creating an uncomfortable work environment for you and you want them to step in and put an end to his harassment.
You should also start a log, writing down names, dates, conversations and what exactly has transpired. This log will go a long way to prove he is harassing you - and you may need it if it comes to push & shove. And his boss may wonder how this guy has all the free time to bug you.
Your other recourses are... if nothing changes after talking to your boss & HR, you can talk to a lawyer, or you can find another job. I hope it doesn't come to either of those options.
Good luck!
2007-07-23 03:33:09 · answer #1 · answered by TC 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I feel so bad for you that HR is not stepping up more.
Maybe if you use the words that you feel you have a "hostile work environment" and feel you are being "sexually harrassed" - those are both actionable offenses and if they refuse to take notice they are in violation of employment laws.
Do you have an immediate boss you can ask to help you with this guy or a more mature coworker who may be more comfortable confronting this offender. Seems like you have to tell him NOT to visit your desk as he makes you uncomfortable and you want to just do your job without any hassle. See if that helps. If not you will need to use stronger language and more forceful tone with him until he gets the message. All else fails -a cold PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE I feel that you are harrassing me - should do it.
Good luck.
2007-07-23 16:19:43 · answer #2 · answered by Iknowthis! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of these types are legends in their own minds and they think that if you are reacting even a little favorably to them by being polite, they are getting off on it. Look him dead in the eye and tell him to cut the crap...be strong and not polite....you do not have to yell though.
If this does not work, then by all means go to your HR people and insist that they deal with it...tell them that you are so uncomfortable that you are becoming fearful of this man and what he might do as he can follow you after work.
As a last resort you could also report your company to the women's issues department at the state labor board if they do not address this jerk.
I am a truck driver and work in a male dominated industry. Most of the guys are gentlemen, but there are some that just think they are god's greatest gift to women. I have to take charge of these type of situations and stand up for myself and demand that I be treated with respect...it always works though some do think me a *****..lolol.
Good Luck lil sister!
2007-07-23 03:07:06 · answer #3 · answered by ladygodiva1953 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wonder if your HR department talked to him? If they did, he seems to not care.
I noticed that you say you give him one word answers. Maybe try giving him no word anwsers. Completely ignore him !! If that doesn't work you could try getting your spouse to pick you up from work. Make sure he sees you with your spouse !
The only other thing I can suggest is to write your HR department with a formal letter and log a formal complaint. I live in Canada and we have the Labour Board that looks after problems such as this. As your employeer, they have a responsibilty to make sure you are and feel safe and secure at work !
Good luck !
2007-07-23 15:02:59 · answer #4 · answered by Tammy K 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy, there seems to be one in almost every office. Obviously, if he has been spoken to, he is aware of your discomfort, but then again, that might be part of his slimyness- he enjoys turning people upside down and making them feel ill at ease. Perhaps you could send an email to HR and CC him on it- and remind them of your prior discussion, and say that you had hoped he would leave you alone, but he has not..... this way you will have a written history of your first talk, and now a second reminder, plus he will know you aren't prepared to back down.
2007-07-23 06:08:18 · answer #5 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you could no longer decide a guy or woman in simple terms on the stereotypes of what gay each and every person is think to be. in simple terms because of the fact he would gown like that(pink shirt and tight white pants) does no longer advise that he's gay so becareful who you factor out. He would or no longer be gay it somewhat is something that he has to enable you to recognize for the reason which you could wager all day and night and not additionally be close.
2016-12-10 19:25:49 · answer #6 · answered by calderon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a very similar situation at work and it is absolutely horrible. You must go to your HR person again. If he has already been spoken to and is still creeping around he needs a formal and final warning. You do not need that kind of pressure at work no one does.
He sounds like a dirty old man who gets his kicks by doing this and he is getting away with it.
Your HR person HAVE to sort it. Good luck
2007-07-23 02:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by Laila 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Rather than turn to higher authority you ought to have told him exactly how you feel about it. In short that you would appreciate it if he stopped his visits to your desk.
By avoiding this and turning instead to a boss you are failing to handle your own situation. Actually this guy isn't doing anything. It is just that you don't like him. Trying to turn it into a feminist issue without every having registered your complaint with him personally in the first place (and not by mind-reading either) is another kind of sliminess. He is only hoping for acceptance. You are trying to get him fired and all the support from Yahoo Answers yes-men, neurotics, upstarts & fellow-travelers will not make it cool. You weren't hired to pursue a feminist agenda. That is a last resort, not a button you can push when someone is not to your liking.
2007-07-23 03:01:08 · answer #8 · answered by richard d 3 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Personally, i would give him the same treatment he gives me. Guys like that are generally all bravado. Is he married? You could always pull the "i spoke to your wife on the phone" card. if the situation worsens you have to take it up seriously with HR as you legally could take him to a tribunal. or you could ask for an office move or transfer (for him, not you)? this guy sounds like a jerk. sorry i'm not there to give him what for, for you.
2007-07-23 02:53:41 · answer #9 · answered by meloncat 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You really need to push the sexual harassment issue with the HR department because that's what this guy is doing. Don't let him get away with it!
2007-07-26 11:01:04 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ тнє σяιgιиαℓ gιяℓfяι∂αу ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋