I am really in love with her. Although I'm 33 I look and feel younger. I really like this girl, it's not about sex, I wouldn't even think of having sex with her until she reaches 18 , 19 or when ever she is ready.
We look forward to hanging out together, her parents and my parents are really good friends.
Last weekend we had a family and friends gathering. I completely ignored her because I don't want others to think I am interested in her. I think she felt like I ignored her, she wanted to hang with me but I refused. She was very cold to me saying good bye.
Usually we hang out and talk and laugh. I love her so much but society is sick and always thinks the worst. I am not a pervert, I really care for her.
I feel that if I don't tell her how I feel I will loose her. If I keep ignoring her everytime I see her.
Should I tell her that I love her? Maybe she does not feel the same about me but I really need to know. I know I will loose her.
2007-07-23 02:39:44 · 32 answers · asked by johnduo0007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
never tell her that you love her at the vert beginning of a relationship. that will scare her off! rathrt, tell her that you love "being with her". this will work better for you. also talk to her soon and explain why you acted distant at the party and say you are sorry. she'll understand. good luck!
2007-07-23 02:49:14 · answer #1 · answered by sportguy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. I myself have a much younger husband - I am 32, he is 22. We were perfect for each other and fell in love the moment we met.
BUT he had been living on his own a few years already, was in a steady job for 3 years already, was financially independent and knew enough about "the real world". At 17, you are just getting out of high school, you have never lived on your own and you have never had to deal with "the real world" of grownups. She hasn't had the chance to even experience any of what life, love, dating and partying has to offer. And I am sure that no matter how mature she may seem, she has no idea who she is yet or the woman that she can become.
You are NOT perverted for being in love with her - but you must be realistic. Your needs are MUCH different than hers and she has a few years of growing up yet to do - no matter how much she may have been through in her life already. She may have all the qualities that you are looking for in a partner, and you may care for her a lot - even love her. But in the end, the timing is probably not right for you guys. Even if it worked out for a while, most likely she would start to feel bitter that she didn't do a little more living and would then have to break your heart and move on. It would be sad to put her in that position.
My advice would be to stay friends, stay close - keep your love for her on a plutonic level and give her some time. Who knows - in a couple years, when she has experienced more and realizes what a wonderful friend you have been, you can take your relationship to the next level.
Until then, love her, care for her - and let her go.
2007-07-23 03:00:38 · answer #2 · answered by The Lizard Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 35 and the thought of someone my age hitting on my daughters (who are not much younger than your girlfriend) sickens me tremendously.
Are you really immature for your age? Because a 17 is a CHILD. I don't care how old she acts, she is still just a kid.
Do her parents know how you feel? If you have to act like you don't care about her when you are with your family and friends...don't that tell you something?
I am not trying to put you down, I am speaking from expierence. When I was 15 I was seeing a 33 year old man. I thought I loved him, it turns out I didn't even know what love was. If you truelly care about this GIRL then step back and give her a chance to grow up. If you both feel the same way in a couple of years, WHEN SHE'S OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT DECISION, then you will have plenty of time to catch up.
2007-07-23 02:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to tell you that you are in for a lot of trouble if this lasts. My parents have the same age difference you're talking about. They met when she was around 16 and got married when she was around 18. It was fine at first, but I promise you she will get tired of you just as my mother is tired of my father. There has been so many affairs in their relationship, although they are still married. I guess because my sister is still just a teenager. You really need to think this thing though. Where will yall be in 10 years. She is just coming into adult hood and still has a lot of growing to do.
2007-07-23 02:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if she's ready to take this from u, she might be shocked big time., or maybe not, I know u dont care about the society but do care for her, My only aedvice to u is to figure out URSELF whether u should pop up the question now or after some time, the time can be a week, a month, a year or even 2 years.
2007-07-23 02:45:41 · answer #5 · answered by vio_prince 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think about how you'd react if your 17 year old daughter came home one night and said she was in a relationship with a 33 year old man . How would you react ?
Would you still think that this was right ?
Bet your bottom dollar that you 'd go out and buy a shot gun and scare the creep off your property, right ?? !!
This is just so wrong on so many levels, it's not funny.
I suggest you seriously take a good long look at what you're thinking about, and pull the plug on this girl before she gets more hooked than she already is.....this is borderline paedophilia in my books.....
2007-07-23 03:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by mamabear_45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait until she turns 18 and maybe talk with her parents about it. Do you really think you guys are on the same wave length here anyway? She may be into guys her age. She is very young and needs time to find out who she is and what she wants out of life too. You might freak her out if she doesn't feel the same way too. Just don't be pushy what ever you decide to do. If you care so much, don't ignore her like she is no one. She might learn to despise you.
2007-07-23 02:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by Green Eyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would do a great disservice to both of you by expressing your feelings to this girl.
A 33 year old guy and a 17 year old girl have completely different agendas in life. Whereas you probably have a good idea of who you are and what you want from life, a girl of that age still hasn't really figured out who she is.
A woman in her mid-20s would be the youngest I would go. She's most likely to know what she wants and be more on-board with where she wants to go in life.
2007-07-23 02:49:42 · answer #8 · answered by amazing_creation 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a really bad idea... What could you possibly have in common besides sex, unless your maturity level is caught at 17 years old.... Sounds perverted and sick to me, maybe you are afraid of truly mature women.... I feel sorry for the 17 year old, when 17 you have no idea what life is all about, you just think you do....yuck!
2007-07-23 02:47:56 · answer #9 · answered by gypsey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're disturbed, When I was 20, I would get freaked out about dating a 17 year old. You're lonely and desperate and this girl is forced by her parents to come and hang out. She's nice and polite, but not interested in you, not in a romantic way. You really need to get a job, find your own place and rent a stripper.
2007-07-23 02:51:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's good that you aren't having sex and the parents are ok with it... but I'm pretty sure it's illegal for a 33 year old to be going out with a 17 year old.
2007-07-23 02:43:18 · answer #11 · answered by SmileyFace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋