I already wrote about this topic before...when I had a pregnancy scare in the past, I received much opposition from so-called "friends" about having the kid. People discouraged me from keeping it & kept rationalizing reasons about why abortion wasn't completely bad(I'm pro-life). Here I thought I was decently capable of raising a kid if need be(I have an education, >1 job, I'm not a teen, etc), but apparently others didn't think so. Then yesterday, my friend & I were discussing this & she agreed that they were rude & incorrect, then she said that perhaps they didn't realize just how capable I am, & pointed out what SHE considered to be the #1 factor that makes people judge if someone would be capable of raising a kid or not.
So just curious, what do YOU think is the #1 most important factor that makes someone capable(or not) of raising an unplanned kid? Is it the person's job/financial stability, or relationship status, or age, or drug/party habits(or lack thereof), etc?
2007-07-23 01:49:57 · 6 answers · asked by I Hate my haters 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I know there's a LOT of factors that go into such a big decision to raise an unplanned kid, but what's the FIRST thing that enters your mind? The FIRST thing you'd think of when you hear that someone is accidentally pregnant and you think "that's a shame, because it'll be very hard for her to raise this kid"??
2007-07-23 01:51:14 · update #1
Julie R: Thank you for responding, however, you didn't answer the specific question. What is the #1 factor that YOU would immediately think of when considering if you should feel either "happy" or "sorry" for someone that is unexpectantly pregnant?
2007-07-23 01:59:28 · update #2
Aw, I'm sorry people reacted that way to your pregnancy. I guess now you know who your REAL friends are, huh? How hypocritical that they would claim to be pro-"choice" and then try to push you into an abortion.
For me, the most important factor is an intangible motherhood quality, where you truly want the best for your child and love him or her unconditionally. A poor 13-year-old with that quality makes a better mom than a rich 30-year-old without it. The second-most important thing, in an unplanned pregnancy, is the emotional support network. I feel terrible for women who get pregnant without their friends and family backing them up, because that definitely makes it harder, as I'm sure you're more than aware.
<3 Kelsey
2007-07-23 02:36:00 · answer #1 · answered by Kelsey H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say selfishness because if someone is selfish then how would they be able to make decisions that are in the best interest of anyone but themselves? selfishness would lead to all the bad things like partying, lifestyle health neglect intolerance when it comes to looking after a baby and sacrificing a LOT of your previous lifestyle apart from that i think a stable home life and a good network of people (friends and family) is an ideal situation for a baby so come in to. oh and one major one is, a husband. because the first two weeks of your babies life are so tough on your relationship with your man. wow. you would want to be in a good strong commitment. I don't think education is important if you have a good stable job. all of these women who go to uni for ten years of their life doing honours in this and that, then work their way up in the feild then stop to have kids wonder why they are depressed or having trouble conceiving. do it all with the kids.. life doesn't stop when you have children. it begins.
2016-05-21 00:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by elva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think my relationship with the baby's father would the biggest factor, since to me, raising a child alone seems like a overwhelming job. If I felt there was little chance he would be around for the long term, that might really impact me decision to keep the child- I'd likely have it, and perhaps put it up for adoption/
2007-07-23 03:42:01 · answer #3 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it actually differs in different situations and depends on how well you know the person.
My main thing is maturity because if you are mature then you will be getting an education, have a job, and a place to live, not doing drugs or drinking on a regular basis. Planned or not you will be able to provide a child with all they want and need if you are mature!
2007-07-23 02:12:07 · answer #4 · answered by girlzmommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The number one reason to me is mental stability - a person has to be mentally ready for a child and has to be capable of giving love and protection. I think child abuse and neglect happens when people aren't ready for the demands of a baby. After that, a person should be financially ready with a good home for the baby and the means of supporting it.
2007-07-23 03:04:51 · answer #5 · answered by Lady 205 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are saying, Its complicated. If the option of not having the baby was not available what would people do? they would manage right? so its really over all a personal choice.
2007-07-23 01:57:19 · answer #6 · answered by Julie R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋