Why am I married?

Question

WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."


A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."


When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished


A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


A young son asked, "Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.



Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "



Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus so shut the hell up

Answer 1

Last night all alone in a barroom met a man with a drink in his hand
He had baby blue eyes coal black hair and a smile that a girl understands
Then he came and sat down at my table and as he placed his hand over mine
I found myself wanting to kiss him for temptation was flowing like wine
And I was almost persuaded to strip myself of my pride
Almost persuaded to push my conscience aside
Then we danced and he whispered I need you
Let me take you away and be your man
Then I looked into his eyes and I saw it the reflection of my wedding band
And I was almost persuaded to let strange lips lead me on
Almost persuaded but your sweet love made me stop and go home

Answer 2

I was engaged when I was 24 and married when I was 26 Our wedding colors were a pale peach and chocolate brown We each had our brothers as witnesses (2 total), it was a very small wedding (14 people were there including us and our reverend) Our reception was held a month after our wedding, and we did not have assigned seating, most people didn't sit, it was a cocktail party We had a small chocolate cake and then a variety of desserts for people to choose, I think there were 5 different choices We went to Maui for two weeks We got married in Gleneden Beach, OR, a tiny town on the coast, just outside of Lincoln City

Answer 3

I am a Happy Woman.
Married to a Wonderful Christian Man.
I cannot imagine life without him.
We have known each other for 64 yrs..
Been married for 54.
Life together is good. ~~~jill

Answer 4

HA

Answer 5

Ha Ha! Funny! 10!

Answer 6

That was great. Have a star

Answer 7

......so many husbands in the joke, and, all of them jokers! and, nearly blind to some facts of life! (good humour, enjoyable!)

Answer 8

I wish I could be you making people smile and laugh?

Answer 9

heard all before but funny haha

Answer 10

nice collection.. i liked each one of them..