my 7 year old has poor body image?

Question

I'm concerned that my daughter at 7 yrs thinks she has fat legs when in actual fact she has slim shapely legs. also we are going on holiday and she wants false tan before we go and she always tans very quickly.I've tried telling her she's beautiful and so on but its getting worse. pleased help!

In response to some of the answers, my daughter is quite babyish and prefers to play out rather than watch tv. I don't really buy mags, and she wouldn'd look at them anyway. I am very unglamerous and only do myself up if I am going on a night out maybe a bit of false tan on my arms. we constantly try to build her self esteem and I have allways put emphasis on being a good person as opposed to how we look. With being a parent it seems we're damned if we do or damned if we don't.

Answer 1

do you go on about your body shape? if so stop.
Does she watch adverts on tv , see magazines around the house that you buy for yourself - then stop.

Answer 2

Already at 7 this is happening??? Where do you think she's getting it? From tv, magazines, friends at school, older siblings? Try to identify the source of this anxiety, and perhaps that will help to alleviate her fears of not being 'good enough'. You can never tell your child enough how special and beautiful they are. Also a talk about how outside beauty doesnt make a person. Personality goes a long way too! The very nice, sweet, plain person is far better to have as your friend than the fake, popular pretty person.

Wanting to false tan at 7?? That's so surprising. My daughter is not quite 2yrs old, but I am already thinking about what NOT to let her play with/watch/etc. I'm personally anti-Barbie and all the princess dolls out there, but I may be mistaken in blaming them for a part of women's poor self image. Certainly all of the magazines showing air-brushed, 'perfect' women doesnt help. I was a teenager before I became concerned about my body, but I was crazy too. I remember my girlfriend and I were worried we were getting 'fat' because we broke 100lbs. Uh, we grew a bunch over summer and were stick thin!

You should show her pictures of herself. We often see something different in the mirror than in pictures. We can distort more what is in the mirror than say in a photo. Has she actually said she thinks she is fat? Poor thing, you have to try to stop this attitude right now! It shall only get worse when she's older and starts going through puberty.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Ok. I'm younger. I still have this problem, and everyone, especially my mum, says that I'm beautiful, tall, and model skinny. But I still look in the mirror and see some one fat. My friend says thats anorexia. Maybe she really has it, like a younger less harmful type. Anorexia's not just 'not eating' like most people think, it's base is being skinny but actually seeing your self as fatter. Her legs might feel fat because when you sit, they look huge. I think that all the time, but try saying "Your legs are so tiny!" Or getting another family member to say it. My eyes are the only thing I like about me, so I love getting compliments from strangers on them.
Also, the tan thing. Does she have any friends that are much tanner than her? Two of my best friends 1.)Tan easily 2.)is Spanish. So needless to say, I'm always feeling like the really white one, even though I tan pretty easily. There's no way from stopping her seeing the skinny-assmodels, and the tannes celebrities. Maybe(if you have enough money) you could bring her to a Spa or make your own spa at home.
Hope I helped =)

Answer 4

You wouldn't happen to be talking about the book "It's perfectly Normal" would you? I know a lot of people have a problem with it because it has cartoon pictures of people having sex and masturbating. Personally, I think if it's an educational book about sex there is no problem. The 7 year old is a bit young for things that graphic and in-depth, but I think the 10 year old is ready. When I was 11, I had a sex-ed class that had cartoon pictures like you are talking about in school - and that was almost 20 years ago! I also finished high school when I was 16 and started college that same year as a Fine Arts major. I had a life drawing class where I was going to have to draw a nude male and I had never seen one before - my mom actually bought me a playgirl magazine so that I could see and draw a nude male before I had to see it in person. It didn't make me want to run out and have sex, it didn't even make me fantasize about it - and what's more important is that I wasn't mortified at having to see a naked man for the first time in a room full of people. So, should my school and my mom be told what a bad influence they are? I don't know if it makes any difference to you, but I didn't lose my virginity until I was almost 18, and I was engaged to the person I lost it to and I was also his first. And I talked to my mom about it extensively before I made the decision that I was really ready to take that step, and I have never regretted it. Now, if she was showing a 7 and 10 year old a Playboy magazine, I would say that is bad parenting. Not because it portrays anatomy and sex, but because of the way it portrays it. I don't think that a male child's first exposure to sex should be the rather sl*tty pictures in those things, but they are going to find them eventually. I would just hope to get in a good talk about sex and love and respect before they got their hands on one.

Answer 5

My daughter has the same sort of problem too, and it started early on as well. We don't watch a lot of television either, nor do I buy magazines that promote this. It just happens naturally, because all of her little friends are into it too. It seems to be a problem of this decade/century. So i have had her dad and her stepdad make sure they just love her. I think a big portion of being accepted as a girl comes from the dad. Mom and dad play important roles in her life, and dads really help a girl feel accepted. The best thing you can do is keep loving her, and make sure daddy tells her how perfect she is just the way she is, just the right size. My daughter still occasionally thinks her stomach pooches, and she's small for her age, with no pooch in sight! I encourage my daughter to take good care of herself, and make sure her activities are balanced, that she doesn't focus too much on how she looks. I make sure she has time to just be a kid with no pressure. Don't know if this helps, but I wish you luck!

Answer 6

For a 7yr old, its not right for ur daughter to feel like the way she does, my only though, would she be getting picked on by other kids while out playing by any chance, Im saying this from my own child, who gets picked on and is called names which he doesnt like resulting in him not wanting go out and play at home and picked on in school which hates going also...

all u can do is sit with her, talk to her and try get to the bottom of it all, maybe have her join a group after school for her make new friends who would rather be in girl guides or sport then worry about the shape of their legs or wearing fake tan..

wish u all the best in this also...

Answer 7

Maybe her feelings of being fat and wanting a fake tan is just a phase that she is going through. Maybe it is a way of her trying to be more grown up. Or it could be that there is some other underlying problem here. It may not be anything to worry about. When I was that age, I thought that I was fat and ugly, and wanted to be as pretty as the other girls around me. Even if she isn't being influenced by the media at home, maybe its who she is around and what she is exposed to at school. She may have heard girls talking about things like this, and that is what is bringing up her body image issues. Whatever it is I think that this is something that you shoudl address right away, instead of ignoring it or not thinking much of it.

Answer 8

You need to get to the bottom of why she thinks this. Bearing in mind that she's 7 and probably not even aware that there's anything abnormal with the way she's behaving, if you ask her upfront the answer will probably be "I dunno i just do"

So do a little investigating yourself, firstly, look at yourself, you primarily as her parent have the most influence over her, more than any other outside source, is there anything about your own behaviour that could be accidently encouraging these thoughts about herself? Do you yourself use fake tan? Do you ever comment that you need it to look good? Do you ever comment about your legs being fat when you think that she's not listening?

Secondly think about your family and her friends similarly, is any of their behaviour effecting her or could they ever had made a harsh comment about her? I think it is people around her that are effecting her body image, not TV or celebrities, she's not a teenager, she won't be wanting to make herself look good to look like a celebrity, she'll be doing it because an adult has taught her something, somebody close to her must have triggered this, without meaning to

Once you've found the root cause of the problem, you need to stop these actions, for example, if it's yourself you need to stop being negative about your body infront of her. And continue to reassure her, and then she should begin to stop thinking about her body

Answer 9

A lot of these ideas come from her friends. Just keep telling her that she is beautiful. Maybe that all she wants to hear. But no tanning that is the last thing she needs. also ask her why she feels this way, talking it out might just help her forget about it. Let her know that God makes us in all different sizes and shapes. Good luck mom.

Answer 10

Maybe the problem is the emphasis on her self esteem sort of how a kid is worse when you are trying to correct a behavior. Give her some stuff to do to make her proud of her self otherwise(volunteering with the family,etc) Also kids absorb a lot more than we think. It doesn't have to be from the tv maybe just watching people in real life.

Answer 11

My 7 year old daughter is also currently becoming very self conscious of her "fat belly", "too hairy legs", "Boy's hair cut", etc. In reality she is a slim, healthy, normal, very cute little girl.
At home she only gets healthy images and feedback.
However, at daycare some of the girls (at 6, 7 & 8!!!!!) are really obsessed with all of this nonsense. They use insults and criticism to exclude and hurt each other.
Try to talk to your little girl about how beautiful normal and healthy she is. Ask her how she feels about her friends; ie would she like someone less because of how that person looks. All we can do in this crazy world is keep trying to emphasize to our daughters that inner beauty is more important than outer. Good luck!