do you like your parents?

Question

i'm 19 and my mum n dad split when i was little and my dad wasnt very interested in me and hardly saw me unless it suited him, my mum died when i was 15 and my dad dint ring me or get in any contact at all afterward, even tho i'm his only child and he wasnt bothered, i dint get a card or he dint ask if i was ok, nothing, could u forgive him?

Answer 1

I love my parents dearly.

Its very unfortunate that that happened to you. WOrld isn't perfect. BUT when you become parents, you would know what NOT to be like :-) If I were you, you should not hate them for what they did and forgive them because it would only hurt you more. what you should do is learn from the past and put that knowledge into your future. If you are having a hard time forgiving, you should seek help professionally or religiously. I am Christian and I learn to forgive and love others in my religions. You should check out some churches near by and see if that's helpful to you. :-)

I wish from bottom of my heart you to have a great future. Take care.

Answer 2

I'm not sure I could. Do you remember anything about him? Or just what your family told you?

I think you should think it over a while. Although maybe he didn't know what was going on either. If you feel like you can I would try getting in touch with him. But if it still hurts too much wait. Some day you will want to get in touch. And even if it is on his death bed, don't let that be a regret you carry with you. Because it will haunt you.

I am in a similar situation. My parents split when i was about 2, I am now 16. And until I was about 9 or so my dad didn't want anything to do with me. I wasn't good enough for him. But he came around, especially once he hooked up with a wonderful woman, whom he is still with. And he had a second child. It opened his eyes I think. Seeing what he had lost. Now I see him a lot. Several times a week. He isn't the perfect dad but he is a dad.

Answer 3

OK people on here who have lost their parents will all give you the same answer 'forgive' because they know best how it is to live without them!

But I dont know how you have coped! Your 19 and your mother died when you were 15!! You needed your dad more than ever then so i can understand if you werent ready to forgive!!

My dads mum (my nan) died when he was 13 and his dad (my grandad) went of the rails and put my dad into care!! I couldnt forgive my grandad let alone expect my dad to but last year my dad found out that he had died (2 years before) and none of us knew!!!!!! I think my dad often wishes he had heard his dads side of the story!!

Think carefully!!

He has hurt you in the past and left you when you needed him most! Would you forgive a friend if they did that!!??!! Just because he is family doesnt mean you have to automatically forgive!! He lost the right to be your dad when he left and didnt contact you!!!! No man does that!!

However on the other hand maybe you need to hear him out!! Hear how life was for him and why he didnt contact you!! If you trust what he says is honest and true then continue contact but remember he needs to earn your trust!! He cant just come back into your life and expect you to forgive straight away!!

Good luck I hope it works out for you!! I admire you!! I think you must be a really strong person!! I just hope you had other family members to support you when your mum died!!!

xxxxx

Answer 4

Hello my situation is similar to yours my dad was not interested in me when I was little ( parents split when I was 8) and my mum died when I was 22 my dad then attacked me two days after her funeral because I would not give him financial information (that was none of his business) and 6 months after my mum died my step dad moved another women in to my mums house, I am not sure if I could ever forgive my real dad or my step dad but I have spoken to them about things and I can not accept there answers as it does not justify what they have done and of all the advice I recieved from friends I always went with my gut feeling and that worked for me. Best wishes.

Answer 5

I love my parents, and the in-laws too.
I'm so sorry that you had such a hard time with your Dad, and really can't tell you what you can do about it, except to say that his being a bad parent doesn't mean that there was/is something wrong with you. Some people just should never be a parent, and he sounds like one of them.
Perhaps his way of coping with the breakup was to severe all ties, which really wasn't fair on you, but maybe it was the only way he could cope?
I can only hope that you can move on, and find your own place in this world, with or without him. That's your choice.

Answer 6

I can't stand my Dad and I like my Mum. She's a bit nuts and we had a tough time growing up...but it's not all her fault. Dad is a complete pig.

Your Dad hasn't been much of a Dad to you...but some people believe family ties are worth preserving. I'm really quite happy to never see my Dad again.

Answer 7

are you still NOT seeing him or only when it suits him???Apparently your dad chose another path after he divorced your mum,did he re-marry and has more kids???If not it only PROVES he isnt cut out to be a family-man,most guys arent.If he has a new family ,maybe the new wife has some ackward feelings against you,some do you know.Eitherway it isnt really an excuse not to keep close contact,especially after your mum died.....again just proves he is kinda low-life in my eyes.MY dad died when I was very young,had an alchoholic stepdad and my ex-bofriend abandoned me and my kid and doesnt wanna have any contact...so I totally relate to your questions,frustrations,hope,fear,sadness and anger.REALLY... Im 39 so a bit older and wiser now and I accept little by little that you cant force people to like you and love you,unfortunately and often loving somebody or accepting a situation is just LETTIN...G Go.Its not a solution or magic formula but its a truth to go on and move on.....make sure you surround yourself with people who love and care for you.Unfortunately we cant choose our parents but we can our friends though.Goodluck,YOU DESERVE IT and remember the best is yet to come

Answer 8

Hi, just wanted to share something with you. When i was a child my mother was abusive, she would beat all of us up including my self and my sister who was disabled. One day she beat my sister that bad that she stopped breathing, my brother and me watched while my dad punched her in the chest and done mouth to mouth, it did work and she started breathing again, but within a few days she developed pnemonia and died, the doctors stated that she died because the pnemonia was brought on by a blow to the chest, by parents covered there tracks and said she fall. I dont blame my father but he blames himself, my mother is a different matter. I HATE HER WITH MY HEART AND SOUL. My sister is gone for always i will never see her again, we were very close, she was older than me but i always took care of her and i feel like ive failed aswell. its been 27 years since this happened and im still crying tpying this. It soooooo right what they say that you can't pick your family but you can pick your freinds. Your Q do you like your parents??? I hate my mother and i pitty my dad, he left 6 weeks after my sister died and left myself and 2 brothers with mother. I left home two years later at the age of 15 and slept on the streets coz it was safer than my own house. I am now married with six kids and do everything the opposite to my mother. My kids and me have so much fun and they come to me with all there problems, thats how it should be.

Answer 9

Ahhh.... My mum and dad split up about 2 years ago ( i'm 13 now) i love my mum more than anyone else in the world, however, i love my mum's partner more than my dad, my dad is obssed with porn, and woman, on holiday he even abandoned me and my brother for a woman. I've sort of forgiven him physically, but not mentally. There not worth it!.....Please feel free to message me if you would like to talk in more detail....Just remember you have to make your own mind up!!! x

Answer 10

My mom and dad split up when I was 7 and I went to live with my dad. My dad died when I was 14 and my mom came to the funeral but never once asked me if I wanted to live with her, so I lived with my aunt. I have not seen my mom since I was 14 and have had no desire to see her, so no, I never forgave her.