Breastfeeding And The Nosy Neighbor?

Question

I have a neighbor who is pretty nosy and opinionated. She's been a problem in the past and I've let most of it go. She's in her late 30s and has 2 teenage boys.

I went out the door only to find her and several other neighbors drinking in the yard. Before I could get back inside i was roped into conversation with her. At some point it came up that I was still nursing my 15mth old.

She stated point blank that she was way to old to be nursing. I told her that as long as Chloe'Beth still wanted to nurse and I was still able to and wanted to then I would continue to nurse her. Her reply left me speechless and a pretty angry. She said "Your a new mom you aren't smart enough to know anything about that."

I couldn't even find the words for a rebuttle. I just excused myself and went back inside. I'm furious how could someone say something like that. She's always trying to parent me but this was just too much.

What are your opinions on breastfeeding? How should I handle this neighbor?

Answer 1

You should continue to breastfeed your child until she asks for the breast. At that point, they are usually ready to stop breastfeeding. I know of a woman who breastfed her son until he was 5. He would lift her shirt up in public and grab and grope her. I believe breastfeeding is natural and beautiful, but the children are usually ready to stop breastfeeding at 2 years old. I know of another woman who breastfed her child until he was 15 months old. At that point, she only breastfed him at night. It comforted him and allowed him to sleep. When he turned 2, she stopped breastfeeding him. Your daughter is still young enough to enjoy the comforts of and the healthy benefits of breastfeeding. Nurse on! Good luck!

As far as your neighbor goes, it is none of her business whether or not you breastfeed your 15 month old. Just ignore her ignorance.

Answer 2

She embarassed herself...I asure you. Breastfeeding did not work out for me, however I did plan to breastfeed the entire time I was pregnant with my older daughter and did I hear about it. My mother-in-law insisted that it wasn't enough and that I should bottle feed or at least give the poor child some formula too. I was pissed and with me my emotions are clearly written across my face...no words needed. It was about 8 years ago, so I'm not sure what I said, but I bet she didn't like. We've gotten along much better since my daughter was about 3....people like to meddle to much.

They are so ignorant to think that you know nothing because all you have is a baby and you know they've raised adults. They are so stupid....it makes me wonder did they feel like they knew nothing about a baby when they were parents. If I'm right many years ago they put it in women's heads not to breastfeed for some reason...maybe they thought it wasn't ladylike or maybe they feared they might get sagging breasts and their husbands wouldn't approve. I can't imagine why their is such a stigma with something so natural and obviously the best choice for the baby.

You should've slapped her...ok ok I know violence is not the way....ooooh, but I know you wanted too.

If she mentions it again, I would look her in the face and tell her very calmly that this subject is closed and walk away. I'll bet she'll never do it again....if she's a good neighbor besides this, she'll get over it and eventually you guys may get along again.

Answer 3

This shouldn't even be put to the vote... Breast feeding is such a personal thing... such a private thing between a mother and HER baby... NOBODY, not even your husband has a right to interfere with that. --- The best thing you could have done and can do in future is (1) not to antagonize that idiot neighbour by answering and (2) just respond with a smile to any future comments/unsolicited opinions. Unfortunately this world has too many idiots like her. You want an opinion, come to Yahoo Questions/Answers. The only qualifications a woman needs to breast feed is to be a Mother. That is enough. Just ignore her. -- You could not find the words for a rebuttle because there isn't anything you could have said... It was too stupid a remark for an answer. BY THE WAY, I AM A MAN, A FATHER of 5 !

Answer 4

Wow, a neighbour thinks they have the right to say something like that to you?? Incredible. No chances of one of you moving soon is there? Probably not unfortunately. Well, I’ll start off by saying what any knowledgeable person would – there is NOTHING wrong with breastfeeding a 15mth old. It is far from being ‘way too old’. I breastfed my daughter until 13mths, and could have continued had I been given the right encouragement but it was getting to be very draining on me. To have most people around me comment on the fact that I was ‘still’ nursing was getting too much for me. My sister told me my daughter was too big at 3mths to be breastfeeding, and asking Didn’t it feel strange?? My father asking at 9mths if I was going to continue until 1 yr, 2yrs, or 10yrs…. Nice one dad. I never brought the subject up but it was always a hot topic once someone found out. Refuse to discuss the topic with her again if she will only judge you for doing what any Dr would say is wonderful.

I had an incident in the library a few weeks ago that left me speechless. This old man told me I was a terrible, stupid mother for not keeping my daughter quiet. She's 20mths, and had been standing a few feet away from me 'talking' to herself while I picked out a book. He yelled this to me from about 15 feet away so that the entire library was staring at us. I couldnt believe it, I was horrified. I told him that was quite rude, quickly left, telling my daughter that unfortunately there are people like that in the world. I ran into him later and got a chance to give him a piece of my mind, but he stuck to saying I was stupid and a bad mother. Wow. I asked if he had children, and he unfortunately said yes. They're all grown and out of the house as the guy looked to be 70, but I just hope the grandkids arent around or else he would be abusive to them as well.

I know how it feels to have this happen, but try to ignore it as best you can.

Answer 5

Oh, I just know exactly how you feel! The general consensus of the "dumb masses" is that the LIMIT is 1 year (most even feel that this is too long). I had a neighbor one time mention to me that her d-I-L was one of "those kooks" that breastfed for a whole year. She was really showing her age with that one. I had to hold back a laugh, and just say, "ohhhh, really . . . " As the child gets older than one, the general public just gets increasingly uncomfortable with the idea. The main problem is just that breastfeeding in general was taboo for awhile, and we are still recovering from that.

I have had MANY nosy neighbors comment to me on my breastfeeding past one. I really don't get angry with them, they just don't know! They are ALL bottlefeeders and are told to stop bottlefeeding at one so they just assume that this is the special mark. I have handed them articles on the subject, scientific data, as well as the official stance of all the major pediatric bodies. What I find is the most effectic is to leave them with a challenge: If you can find me ONE peice of research based evidence that shows that breastfeeding past one is anything but GREAT for your baby, then I will stop today. This of course leads them to do a little a bit of research on the matter and ultimately leads to less ignorance.

Of course if you were having a really bad day you could always retort with, "Well maybe when I'm an old mom like you, I'll know better!"

Answer 6

I think is SO CUTE you're still breastfeeding your baby and it's not wrong at all. Well, my sister couldn't handle it, it hurt too much for her, but i think is cool you still do it. I don't have babies yet...well I guess I do! I am pregnant, but I'm not breastfeeding for 7 more months...and I hope I can do it for a long time, maybe like you!
Your neighbor is a b*i*t*c*h*!!! she doesn't have the right to tell you that. We are all different and have different ways of doing things. I bet her teenage kids are all disrespectful to her...breastfeeding is NECESSARY and THE BEST WAY for babies to grow healthy and connect in a VERY DEEP way with their mommies. Don't pay attention to her. She's stupid!

Answer 7

It's none of her business. My granddaughter is 15 months old and still needs to nurse They are trying to wean. My son was 11 months old and just stopped, wanted a cup, every baby is different, now i'd say if she was 3 and still nursing then you might have a problem.
I'm sure your neighbor is a wonderful nurturing woman NOT, but she needs to mind her own business. Nothing you say will change her mind, so why bother.

Answer 8

I think breastfeeding is one of the best things you can do for your child, and I'm really glad that you are still feeding your baby at 15 months. Keep going as long as you both want to. Trust me, your baby knows more about breastfeeding and its value then your neighbor does.

I've breastfed my children to age three, when they self weaned, and I know for a fact (from researching it) that breastfeeding is still very beneficial for the child right up to age two (at which age the studies have stopped, so it's more than likely that it is still beneficial for them for a lot longer).

If you can't just ignore your neighbor, then the best thing for you to do is to tell her the next time you see her, that you were offended at her rudeness and are too angry and annoyed to have anything to do with her right now.

Answer 9

Who am I to say how long you should breatfeed your child. If that is what is working for you and your child then so be it, and shame on your neighbor for being such a busy body. I would make it very clear next time, you are not interested in conversation with her. If she tries to rope you in, just walk away stating you have things in the house you have to take care of. If she knocks on your door, tell her it's not a good time. You dont have to be rude, just to the point. If she "offers" her opinion in the future, keep your business to yourself, as this neighbor is showing she like to know what's going on in others lives. If she asks any questions, just state, that is something personal I dont like to discuss. Good luck.

Answer 10

First off I congratulate you on continuing to breastfeed your precious baby past the "magical" 1 year mark!

The lactation consultant in my midwife/doctors office has told me that the American Acadamy of Pediatrics has been talking about revising their guidelines to say that babies should receive breastmilk for the first 2 years of their lives. Unfortunately even if they do it will not stop the ignorant the remarks from people like your neighbor! In our society breasts are looked at as a sexual thing and not a way to nourish and bond with our children and that is truly sad!

You handled your neighbor in the past way possible by walking away and then venting your frustrations else where. She is the ignorant and immature one and you will never be able to change her mind...why waste your breath on useless people when you can be protecting and loving on your child?

Good luck!