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Well after all the christians are the masters of altering twisting the literal meaning in the bible, so I'm merely following the christians' footsteps! Here you go!

1. I am the Lord thy God (I am a tired God, the authors misspelled it)
2. Thou shalt have no other gods before me (You can have other Gods BEHIND me!)
2. Thou shalt not make for thyself an idol (You should have someone else make an idol for you!)
3. Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of thy God (You can use His name however you like as long as you don’t misspell His name!)
4. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy (Just acknowledge that it’s there and keep your distance from it, cause your sinful soul will make it unholy!)
5. Honor thy Mother and Father (Ignore your parents for they are not your real mother&father,God is!)

2007-07-22 19:35:19 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

6. Thou shalt not murder (You should not murder your desire to kill that sheep!)
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery (You should never get married, and therefore not commit adultery)
8. Thou shalt not steal (You should only borrow for eternity!)
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness (You should not lie to your heart that you just gotta steal that chocolate box)
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife (You should only have sex with someone else’s husband!)

2007-07-22 19:35:35 · update #1

7 answers

Great creativity. The Bible is indeed twisted by Man. I only hope you are NOT following that Ten Commandments you have just created. Follow God and not Man. Trust your soul and not words for they can mean many things other than what the source wants it. If God is almighty as "christians" claim so, why would God chose a book to remind us instead of through nature and inner thought which has always been there readily.

2007-07-22 19:44:14 · answer #1 · answered by JunHao Loke 2 · 1 0

one million. needless to say, it particularly is the place i'm getting all good coaching related to something.. off of a PDF record that somebody created and the two handed on or bought to others for a horrendous fee. 2. Leviticus... the e book of rules. There are surely over 4 hundred "commandments" or rules indexed interior the e book of Leviticus. and loads of of those you point out are indexed in there. 3. The rules have been initially given to the persons as a make or ruin. the two you maintain all my rules and life is sweet, or you ruin them and you ruin our covenant. Christians have been released from those rules with the loss of life and resurrection of Christ. sure, the guidelines "teach our Sins", yet Christ "shows our Salvation". Now, those rules are no longer a make or ruin deal. those rules are a instruction manual, a fence, and/or a replicate, based upon what you opt for on the time. God gave us a sparkling Covenant in Christ, a sparkling Promise, and with that we've been released from the previous rules. collectively as we nevertheless want them, our salvation and our relationship with God isn't based upon them.

2016-10-09 06:35:40 · answer #2 · answered by esquinaldo 4 · 0 0

You can't count. You broke the first commandment into two commandments. Then listed the second commandment as the second number 2.

2007-07-22 19:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by Northstar 7 · 0 0

You have good sense of humor.

The only thing is do not make offense to someone's belief.

Thanks!

2007-07-22 19:46:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Are you Korean?

2007-07-22 19:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

What?

2007-07-22 19:43:24 · answer #6 · answered by Dan B 1 · 0 0

>.<

2007-07-22 19:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by Chibi 3 · 0 0

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