Well after all the christians are the masters of altering twisting the literal meaning in the bible, so I'm merely following the christians' footsteps! Here you go!
1. I am the Lord thy God (I am a tired God, the authors misspelled it)
2. Thou shalt have no other gods before me (You can have other Gods BEHIND me!)
2. Thou shalt not make for thyself an idol (You should have someone else make an idol for you!)
3. Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of thy God (You can use His name however you like as long as you don’t misspell His name!)
4. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy (Just acknowledge that it’s there and keep your distance from it, cause your sinful soul will make it unholy!)
5. Honor thy Mother and Father (Ignore your parents for they are not your real mother&father,God is!)
2007-07-22
19:35:19
·
7 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Society & Culture
➔ Religion & Spirituality
6. Thou shalt not murder (You should not murder your desire to kill that sheep!)
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery (You should never get married, and therefore not commit adultery)
8. Thou shalt not steal (You should only borrow for eternity!)
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness (You should not lie to your heart that you just gotta steal that chocolate box)
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife (You should only have sex with someone else’s husband!)
2007-07-22
19:35:35 ·
update #1