I like this guy and he likes me. However, I am not willing to commit at this time. We are both starting college very soon and I think it's best that we remain friends. I would honestly like being friends with him and I think he's a cool person, but I am not commiting to anything more than friendship. Although I have told him on several occasions to move on, he still has some kind of hope. How do I get him to get over me and move on and am I doing the right thing?
2007-07-22 19:19:27 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Until he sees you with another guy, he wont get the picture.
The same thing has happened to me with girls before. You can say your moving on all you want, but until you do, things wont change. It just doesn't register otherwise.
Another suggestion is to try and set him up with a friend of yours. That will keep him from being heartbroken and stalking you hoping to rekindle the relationship.
2007-07-22 19:27:32 · answer #1 · answered by rollaracergts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jen, you sound a very nice person and you are focussed on going to college. You have explained that you only want friendship with the guy that likes you. You have done the right thing. All I can suggest is that you now have to stop from worrying about it.. in fact if I had my life over I would give myself this advice : Dont be in any hurry to get into a romantic relationship. .. You could try to reassure him that you are not interested in dating right now and that you are not dating anyone since you are focussed on college, but being friends is fine.. Ask him to ask you again in a year or two, with any luck you will be much better friends by then. Good luck and don't worry !!
2007-07-23 02:33:52 · answer #2 · answered by dorcas_3210 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is stand your ground as you have done so, it's not your fault if he can't get past the fact that you only want friendship, if he is willing to take you up on the offer of "just friends" then you will be happy to be his friend but you said he can't move on. I think you may need to put some distance between the 2 of you to make things more comfortable for you, and just tell him that you feel uncomfortble being his friend as you know that he has feelings for you and you don't want to give him the impression that you are interested when you are not. Just keep away from him for the time being and hope that he finds himself someone else to stalk lol.
2007-07-23 02:30:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i disagree with barbie, friends with benefits always ends up getting messy and someone will always end up getting hurt, even if you have "rules" or whatever.
if you aren't prepared to be with him, then don't be with him. you shouldnt get into things for the sake of the other person. things will just turn bitter and you wont even manage to salvage a friendship from it.
friendships can lead to relationships, but only if both parties are willing.
id say just go with what you are comfortable with for now. neither of you know what the future will hold, and you are both about to start college, which is a whole new chapter in you lives. good luck!!!!
2007-07-23 02:29:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't tell him to get over you....if his feelings are genuine then he'll wait until you're ready...
You say you're not ready or willing to committ at this point in time...BUT if it's him you not keen on committing to then be honest with him...tell him he's a cool friend but that's all you'll ever be....give him 2 weeks and if he still hasn't grasped the fact, tell him you're nothing cos you don't want to hurt him. Being just friends you'll find someone else and he'll still have feelings for you.....blah blah blah...
I'm sure you get the picture.....I appreciate your honesty tho...the fact that you didn't lead him on to begin with....that was really good of you....
2007-07-23 02:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by missceekay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is very good that you are being up front and honest with how you feel to this guy... i would continue to tell him and state it clearly. "i am not wanting to commit to anybody. You are my friend and that is the extent of what is between us" if he continues to keep pressing the issue back away...and create space.... but good job for telling him your true feelings... most girls just string guys along...
2007-07-23 02:25:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you feel you don't want to be with anyone, then Don't! It's better to be single and free and WAIT until you're ready to date then be in a relationship just cause you're feeling sorry for him. And dont "get him to get over you" he can do it on his own. Just keep being his friend.
2007-07-23 02:24:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you continue to talk to him on a regular basis, he will think that there is a chance. Let him know that you are not interested in him, and if he can not accept that, then you will not be able to talk to him any more.
2007-07-23 02:23:56 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a very similar thing happen to me and i'm married to the guy... i say if he wants to wait let him (he knows your intentions very clearly) and who knows what might happen...
2007-07-23 02:23:15 · answer #9 · answered by firefly1334 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be clear with ur point the next time u meet him
tell him what u feel.
he'll understand !
2007-07-23 02:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by miss_rimi1989 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋