One of my party guests didn't RSVP by the deadline, so we sent him a note asking him if he and his family was gonna come. He didn't respond to that either, but a few days later, we saw him and asked him in person. He said no because he had other (recreational) plans. Then later the same day, he called to say his plans fell through and would like to come. And he wanted to come early because it was a long drive. Should I say it is okay to come or not? I'm not exactly thrilled with being "Plan B," with the thought of having to babysit guests while I'm still doing prep work, and with this guy in general for another, unrelated reason. But, I want to be fair, so what do you think?
2007-07-22 17:42:17 · 25 answers · asked by swirlygirl 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
This person isn't deserving of your consideration. If you want them to come, tell them to come at the scheduled time because you will be busy preparing for the party and don't want any distractions.
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2007-07-22 17:48:45 · answer #1 · answered by Wise@ss 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Do not assume everyone knows that RSVP means respond either way. Some people actually beleive RSVP means respond only if you're coming. In this case, he responded when he discovered he was coming. I think you should be graceful and let him come. However, you should tell him to find a place to hang out before the party because you can't host guests early while preparing for the party. If he want's to be there, he'll find some place, or some thing to consume is time while he waits for the party to start.
2007-07-22 17:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by Zeltar 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Did you ever think that the "other plans" that he had may have been made before you sent him the invitation? It's petty and rude to think that your party is the most important event for your entire friendship community and that everyone you know should drop what they are doing to come.
I think that if this is a friend that you truly wanted to have at your party in the first place, you would be happy that he now can make it and would say yes and be happy about it.
If this person isn't a person that you truly want to spend your time with, then say no. Just realize this so next time you don't invite him and you don't have to agonize over letting someone spend time with you or not.
I thought friends were supposed to be respectful of other friends time and thankful of the time that they spend with eachother, not judgemental of how or when that time is spent.
2007-07-22 18:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by VTrider 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is a hard one, but I would have to say I would respond in a manner such as this, "It's great to have you join us after all, and with you coming in early, you (and family) can help me chop veggies, get the grill going, fill up the ice chests, season the meat, and keep an eye on my kids while I am getting other prep stuff done! Thanks so much!" Odds are, with all of those responsibilities in mind, they may not want to come after all. So, you have excitingly let them know they were still welcome, (making them happy) but they will probably not show, making you happy. Good luck!
2007-07-22 17:53:12 · answer #4 · answered by da bomb 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him come to the party this time , just to avoid hard feelings. Say nothing about his lack of manners.
Next time do not invite him. Obviously, he has no manners
and has no regard for other people's feelings. You do not need this kind of person around you.
Also, later, if he wonders why you have not been inviting him to any functions, be honest, and tell him that you felt like Plan B, etc. and this is not the kind of friendship you want in your life. If he has no manners now, he never will. Past behavior is a predictor in future behavior.
2007-07-22 17:55:23 · answer #5 · answered by laurinacouchon 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Say yes. But don't "babysit" anyone. Ask them to help you and get them involved in prep work or just menial tasks. It might teach the person a lesson about how to treat other people who ask them to a party.
2007-07-23 01:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by nowyouknow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just explain to whoever that if they come while you are still prepping for the party... That he'll just either wait for the time set or he might have to help with setting up what ever needs to get done before party time.
2007-07-22 17:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by Old Dawg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him what time he is hoping to arrive .... then tell him that you will still be out but will arrive home a couple of hours later (work it out).
If he has a long drive ... then he should leave a bit later.
I know what it feels like organising a party and having guests arrive early ... .then you don't have time to shower, wash hair, get nicely dressed.
No .... find out what time he is arriving and give him a couple of hours after that.
2007-07-22 17:48:57 · answer #8 · answered by Chris 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think you should say yes ONLY if your party isnt like you have to pay for this person to sit there. for example, its a wedding and the seat needs to be paid for in advance. it seems like you cant count on this person if you asked twice and got no response. why waste the money, you know?
if its more of a come-by-if-you-want kinda thing, then go ahead and let him, if his attendance is not that important.
2007-07-22 17:47:56 · answer #9 · answered by 89 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes, and when he does come make him work. He can do veggies, or set up tables, chairs, decorate, whatever you need done in time for before the real guests arrive.
2007-07-22 18:12:22 · answer #10 · answered by Heather R♥se 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋