I said a month ago that "if we didn't go to WeFest together then I wouldn't go alone" I said that believing that he was going with me. and now he isn't going and doesn't want me to go. In fact he'll break up with me if i do go, because I will be breaking a commitment to him. Well I'm working at WeFest and got hired on last year. I worked there last year also. I've went for the past 6 years. I was hired for this year before I met my fiance. Is he making to big of a deal from it? If I go would i really be breaking a commitment to him? Should I go or should I stay? Guys, do you think he'll really leave or is he just bluffing? he still says that he loves me and feels the same about me now as when he asked me to marry him. Why would he leave me?
I would like some help and opinions from both the girls and the guys.
Should I go or not?
Is it really that big of a deal?
Will I be breaking a commitment?
2007-07-22 16:43:08 · 7 answers · asked by singlemom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My fiance is doing a PRACS medical study that pays him. He will be in the clinic over the weekend (thurs night till tues morn) and i'll be gone mon night till sunday.
2007-07-22 17:06:22 · update #1
It sounds to me that there are more serious issues here than WeFest. You two need to work out your communication difficulties, and it seems that he is trying to control you.
Why is he not going? Does he have a conflict with work, and getting the time off? Is he worried about being there alone while you work? Does he just not want to camp out?
What is his problem with you going? If he is afraid for your safety, that would be one thing, but if he just does not want you to do something you want to do, he is trying to control you.
You have not known him a year, and are talking about marriage. If he is threatening to leave you as way of controlling you, you may want to rethink marriage! Marriage has to be a sharing experience. If he does not have a good reason that he does not want you to go, he just does not trust you.
You committed to work at the festival. You want him to come with you. If he refuses to come, go alone. If he breaks up with you over this, you will have learned that he is not the one for you anyway!
Good luck!
2007-07-22 17:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by fire4511 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should go!
It is NOT breaking a commitment.
He is making a big deal out of nothing!
If he leaves, you will be better off, 'cause he will try to tell you what you can and cannot do for the rest of your life, and you don't need anyone telling YOU what to do.
How do you know he is not cheating on you? And if he really did sign up for a medical study, then he should have planned it for a different time, he is breaking any commitment he had to go with you.
2007-07-22 16:52:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Should I go or not? Go
Is it really that big of a deal? No
Will I be breaking a commitment? Yes, to the people who hired you...
It sounds to me like he has insecurity issues...why would he not want you to work if you want to and enjoy it (obviously you do because it is your 2nd year)?
Is he afraid that you may meet someone new? Does he not trust you? Since he knows you are going to work there, why doesn't he just go along, instead of threatening you with ultimatums?
You made a committment to those people at WeFest, and they are relying on you to be there...it isn't fair to them to have to try to find a last minute replacement just because your fiancee is insecure.
I think it is really immature to threaten to break off an engagement just because you want to work at that place...and what about the future? Is he going to threaten divorce if you get a job or promotion that may involve moving to a new city?
I think you should really think about what your future is going to be like with this guy...he just seems to be really a controlling, insecure type...
2007-07-22 16:54:18 · answer #3 · answered by hunnygril 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a big deal but it doesn't matter what you and I think because obviously it's a big deal to him. Talk to him about this one more time and ask if he Really doesn't want you to go or not.... specially when you are hired for this thing. But in the same time YOU made a commitment.... you promised your fiance (after you were fired to do this) not to go alone, so even it seems a little significant thing, it's still a promise and if you break the promise then what is your fiance supposed to fell about you and commitment. Since you guys are engaged to be married it's very important for you to prove it to him that you are trust worthy and you keep your promise and commitment to him. i think that's his point. So, talk to him. But it's important to show him that you don't break commitment.
2007-07-22 16:59:21 · answer #4 · answered by miuchan_miu 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think he blew this one out way out of proportion. I don't know if there are other underlying circumstances with the WeFest but that doesn't sound like a dealbreaker to me important enough to break the whole thing off. Besides, aren't you going to work there? Let him huff and puff. This thing is too petty to bet your relationship on.
2007-07-22 16:47:23 · answer #5 · answered by Trillian 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
it sound like both of you need to talk about this but if you
are looking forward to go and he cant go. then i would
go and have a good time and if does have a problem then
it more then just that that he has issues with.
2007-07-22 16:47:45 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
he don't want you to go?
it's the fest today
tomorrow it will be the store
next week it'll be to your mothers
next month it'll be on the porch
next year he won't let you go to the bathroom by yourself
2007-07-22 16:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by JF 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋