Does life with mental illness ever get easier?

Question

I suffer from bipolar disorder I and fit almost all of the criteria of borderline personality disorder (I hate the stigma of the disorder, so I hate thinking of myself as a “borderline” … even though I probably am.) I used to also have full-blown bulimia, but it is pretty much “under control” now. I have been hospitalized five times over the past two and a half years, and have also been in an intensive outpatient program for my eating disorder. My interpersonal relationships almost always end on a sour note, usually as a result of my pushing the other person away and then regretting it and desperately wanting them back. I have made my family’s life hell and gone through a number of therapists and psychiatrists (they usually end up giving up on me … I’m not kidding.) I make poor decisions all the time. I can hardly look in the mirror when I consider some of the times I have done while manic or mixed.

Does it ever get easier?

Answer 1

I don't think bipolar disorder has gotten easier for me, but I have finally found some meds that help quite a bit, and I am better about apologizing to others because I recognize I was out of line (that the thing I was upset about was basically imagined by me, no offense was intended by the other person). I also keep track of my periods, and I can be sure that the 3 days before my period will be utter hell, and my husband may have to go stay somewhere else for a couple days at the very worst. Or I have it arranged with my social worker to stay at a group home for a few days, if needed. I've been hospitalized at this time many times.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy is something you should look for if you haven't already tried it. It is the most effective intervention so far for Borderline Personality Disorder, and is really helpful for bipolar too. I am too disabled to handle such an intense course, but you might do great!! For me, the county would pay for it, because they don't want to pay when folks get a 72 hour hold. You might want to get a social worker, they can often be helpful, and if you are in the hospital all the time, they can put in a good word for you and help prevent relapses. I really recommend that!!!

Also, I get social support at a local "drop in center." That is a consumer (mental patient, but an empowering term, not a derogatory one) run socialization group. Google "consumer mental illness (your state)" and see what you find. At least you get a break and can have some fun with others in similar situations.

Finally, there is CONSIDERABLE overlap between borderline and bipolar. If you are not an abuse victim, it is not very likely you have borderline (but there are lots of exceptions). Also, a feeling of emptiness, or lack of self-identity, is a major symptom. So like, I am a creative, passionate, social justice & artistic intellectual type person, and that personality has remained constant thruout my life. If you can define yourself in such a way, I bet you aren't borderline. Also, there is a neediness in borderline, you just gotta have validation from others. Kind of a waif thing. I'm a tough introvert, so that didn't fit me either. Can you tell I had that label for awhile? Often, clinicians label any self-injurious person as borderline, but bipolar can be such hell that you can't help yourself. Also, I found some meds like ativan, benadryl, ambien, nyquil, risperdal make me very aggressive towards others (usually only verbally). I get really angry easily, and can't control my behavior. Look into whether some meds are aggravating things.

Good luck to you! I hope some of this helps you!

Answer 2

Does it ever get easier? Yes. Eventually, you learn to avoid some of the behaviors that you end up regretting.

Does it ever get easy? No. That's why they spend so much time in coping strategies when you're on the locked ward.

If you take a look at the DSM, you'll find that 50% of all people who are depressives are confined a second time, and 70% of those who are confined a second time will be confined a third time. It also says something like 25% to 35% of all people with depression end up killing themselves. If you do the math, it's pretty discouraging. Most people fight depression until they finally avail themselves of the Ultimate Analgesic.

Yet those numbers lie. If you talk to people in their 50s or older, you find that they have learned to, if not love themselves, to accept themselves. They find that it doesn't help them to go back into the hospital, so they work hard to stay healthy enough to remain on the outside. They know that they'll never be popular party animals, but they get pets that make life rewarding, and sometimes, they plant gardens and develop other outlets for their creativity. Bipolars and borderlines tend to be highly creative, I'm sure you've noticed.

Now, I suppose it's possible that the hard cases end up dying, and that it's the rare individual that figures out a way to make life worth living. You sound highly motivated, though. As much as I might wish you happiness, I realize that's a pretty difficult goal to reach; but you probably CAN achieve contentedness. At least some of the time.

There are a lot of famous people who were bipolar, highly creative people who changed the world for the better, even though many of them ended up killing themselves. I hope you'll decide to stick around long enough to change the world for the better - and then stick around long enough to stick mud in the eye of what Winston Churchill called that big black dog. I suspect you can do it if you give what you've got to give.

Every time someone succeeds on their own terms, it makes it easier for others with the same problem to succeed as well. And if you haven't got what it takes, my blessings anyway.

Answer 3

Oh man....I hope so.....I don't know what I have but I'm guessing clinical depression. I've basically been in bed since Dec. 2006. I don't go out of the house or to work. I am my own jailer. I make very poor decisions like you. I cry all the time. I take 10mg of Lexapro . I don't know life looks so bleak to me all the time. I have body aches because of the depression.

Well getting back to you....Are you able to work? Can you explain how you feel with this disorder. Maybe i have it. You can email me if you want. Just push Dianne S and go and write me an email. I think menopause age 46 is not helping me....you sound younger though.

Sincerely,
Dianne
one thing to remember.
So many people have these disorders.....

Answer 4

Learning to manage and staying on the right meds is the only answer to this question.

My mother and my son both have mental illnesses that will never go away. They are managing, in-order to have the quality of life they both deserve.

I always thought that I'd get away from the lifestyle one has to adapt to in-order to live peacefully with someone who cycles with so many great highs that the lows seem so over powering. Moving out and starting my own family. Well, my son started showing signs at the age of 7 and it's still really rocky since he's 15 now and puberty adds to the cycling. And there's no way of knowing if any of my other 3 children will ever be diagnosed, not to mention passing on to the grand-kids..... My life will never be free of mental situations caused by these illnesses but I try everyday to make it easier for my loved ones.

Answer 5

There is a form of therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy. It has gotten good reviews as far as effectiveness. You might want to see if anyone in your area offers it.

Keep plugging away. Things can get better, but you have to be patient and have to keep pushing in the right direction.

Answer 6

Report your psychologist immediately. He isn't allowed to do that. Do it before he does it to someone else. he will no doubt have his license removed, it needs to be done. Clearly this man has some sort of a vendetta. if you want to believe, don't let him win. But also, don't let God be the reason you are getting well again. Do that for yourself without his help. Trust me, it is better that way. I've learned that myself.

Answer 7

One of my favorite movies is "A BEAUTIFUL MIND"

The man this true story is about has an incurable mental illness.
The story follows him over his adult lifetime with his ups and downs, progress and slipping back. What I got from this movie was an incredible respect for this man, or anyone with a mental illness who tries to live their life as "normal as possible" in the world among other people. I think of the energy it takes for an average person to get through the day. And then I look at so much more energy the person with mental illness has to expend just to look and to act "normal" before they can even address the stress of the day everyone else is living. It must be exhausting!

So. Where are you on the issue? Do you want to be "normal" and take your place in society alongside with every one else? Do you want to "live your life?"
Or, do you want to be known for your illnesses, huddled in a corner, not having lived your life to the fullest possible?
Do you want to love and be loved?
Do you want to know what it is to have "good days?" or to experience the side of life that feels genuine joy?

Here are YOUR CHOICES. No one can make them for you.
The choice is to take your meds every day, to go to your therapy and be there for every appointment. The choice to get better, to put your past symptoms and issues in the past and to walk beyond them into a new day and a new life.
The choice is to be alive and to live and to enjoy your health.

Here is another choice, that can enthuse you and give you the strength and energy and joy. Turn to God. In a Bible, read Matthew chapter 6. And read the Gospel of John, chapter 3 down through verse 16.
Faith in Jesus does not take problems away. But it can give you the strength to hold on to life, and to try to live as healthy as you can. After all, it's the life He gave you.

Life CAN GET EASIER and feel more natural, but you have to run after it and work hard, and believe you can be who you want to be.

Answer 8

Okay, you have all this information the question is what are you going to do with it? If you are looking for a magic pill or words to make it all go away you know that isn't going to happen. You know it takes hard work, dedication and the will to get better. It can get easier...but you do have to work for it. Keep searching for the doctor that you can work with and really make progress with.

There is hope....hold on to it. Best wishes.

Answer 9

Over time it will......It makes it easier to have help from a friend or family. I've been in a similar boat and am currently getting myself in one....and the only thing that has helped is having my 2 friends. Therapy was always a joke for me, it pissed me off more than anything....and medication sucked......People help other people....friends....not professionals....So find a good friend....and let them in...let them help.

Answer 10

yes it gets easier. you'll have ups and downs but you have ppl who love you no matter what so it'll be ok. my mom has the almost identical illnesses as you. she breaks down a couple times a year and sees things...hears voices...freaks out...forgets who i am. but we just stick by her, take care of her. and soon we straighten out her meds and her problems and she comes back...i can see her the real her return to her eyes, she shes that too and it makes it worth while. don't give up.