Why is the christian divorce rate just as high as the non christian divorce rate? Hypocritical?

Question

If you have ever been to a Christian wedding, you know that marriage is a big deal. You have the priest or minister standing with the couple reading from the Bible and praying. The ceremony takes place in a church -- the house of God. Dozens or hundreds of witnesses are on hand. In front of God, a representative of God and all of these witnesses, a couple declares that they will wed "til death do us part."

The Christian faith also puts a very, very large stigma on divorce. For example, in Matthew 5:32 Jesus says:

But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
In Matthew 19:9, Jesus repeats that sentiment:
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery
Adultery is a major problem in the Christian faith. First, one of the commandments in the Ten Commandments specifically forbids

adultery. Even worse, in Leviticus 20 we find this:
If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbour, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death.
Adulterers get the death penalty. Clearly, God and Jesus want Christians to stay married for life.
So let's review. When a Christian couple gets married, we have all of these forces that should be working to keep them married:

The marriage is performed in God's presence...
...in God's house...
...in front of God's representative (a minister or priest)...
...and in front of many Christian witnesses.
The couple presumably prays before and after the wedding for a good marriage...
...as do all of the witnesses...
...and the minister/priest.
The couple knows that if they divorce/remarry, it is an act of adultery...
...which God has forbidden...
...and which the Bible says is punishable by death.
And don't forget this important line from the ceremony: What God has joined together let no man put asunder. Now think about

about this. God is the all-powerful, all-knowing creator of the universe. If God puts something together, shouldn't it be impossible to break it? Isn't that what "all-powerful" means?
Given all of this, and given the fact that an all-powerful, prayer-answering God is supposedly looking over the lives of a Christian couple, guiding them in the spirit and so on, what would you expect the divorce rate for Christians to be? Clearly, the Christian divorce rate should be zero.

But when we look at the divorce statistics of American couples, and compare Christian vs. non-Christian divorce rates, we find this strange statistic: divorce rates among Christians match those among the rest of the population. It does not matter whether the couple is Christian or not. According to this article, "'While it may be alarming to discover that born-again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce, that pattern has been in place for quite some time,'

to all you christians who have MAJOR issues with misspelling and can't understand the question - may I suggest a college other that Liberty University or Christian college. I'm sure you would wash out of a real university - but - that's why you didn't go in the first place.

Answer 1

As a christain I know i'm not perfect,but the one that lives in side me is and he knows i'm not perfect.I think as Christains, God give us free well and choices we have to make .Alot of us fail , instead of calling to him we turn to ourselfs and if theres somthing not right in the marrige, we want to run ,instead of running to him for guidence.The devil loves when we rely on ourselfs coz of are inperfection we make a mess of things.We should seek God always.If we do this we would be better off.

Answer 2

"why do you think that Christians have higher divorce rates than non-religious ppl?" Because of all the sources that were posted on your other question. Why are you asking this if you just had a bunch of people show you why they think that? and why are you asking Christians this question? Isn't it more likely for an Atheist to claim that Christians have higher divorce rates? I don't hear too many Christians walking around saying that. I would expect an Atheist to say that, not a Christian, since it kinda makes Christians look bad (divorce is not usually a good thing, I hope you know that).

Answer 3

I have been married happily, thank God to the same man, for almost 26 years, and we are going to be renewing our vows in August- however, unfortunately some Christians do not stay married for many reasons. We are not perfect, just forgiven. We still live in a fallen world. Unfortunately you are right to say, that Christian divorce rates are almost as high as non-Christian and that is very sad. When Jesus took our sins on the cross, yes, we are made new, but our flesh still tries to control. And also there are many reasons for divorce, I know couples that got married before one or both became a Christian. One of my friends married a man that held a gun to her head, and a pastor told her to love him and stay with him. Would Jesus do that? I don't think so, so before we judge, we need to know the whole story. Granted people get divorced for no more of a reason than, "I don't love you anymore". However, I heard a story once that has always stayed with me. If a person murders someone and then becomes a Christian , the murder is forgiven, but if that person gets a divorced that is never forgiven,and they cannot live it down. Sad- Christ died on the cross because we all sin, and fall short of the glory of God.

Answer 4

I absolutely agree with your primary point, that marriage, and institution created by God himself to join a man and a women, should be life-long, esspecially in the case of Christians as we are suppossed to be the examples to everyone else as to how God wants things done. There are however some holes in your reasoning that I'd like to point out, as well as some logical reasons why some, not all, but some marriages among Christians fail.

While you are correct that adultury is forbidden by the ten commandments and punishable by death by stoning according to Old Testament Law, you are incorrect in asserting that such punishment still applies in the modern day Church. While Christianity is tied to the Jewish faith through Christ as it's fulfillment, His comming did change several things, and clearify others. It's important to note that although death by stoning was the prescribed punishment for adultery in the Old Testament Laws, it was rarely inforced to that severity. Such things were still punished of course, but the listed punishment was more of a maximum sentence that could be dished out placed there as a warning about how seriously God disaproved of such things. If you read through the rest of the laws and their punishment (as judging by your knowledge of the scriptures here I've no doubt you have) you'll notice that if this maximum sentence was observed in each case, the inhabitants of Israel would be few and far between, and a mutilated bunch at best.

It's also important to point out that Jesus' sacrifice on the cross has made all sins but not accepting his forgiveness forgivable, though it is true there may still be, and often times are, earthly consequences for ones actions

Also important to note is that the severe punishments listed are for adultery, and not divorce, so if after being divorced a person choose not to remarry, or sleep around, these punishment would not apply.

Now of course there is marital unfaithfulness where one party will cheat on another, which is allowed for as a reason for divorce in the verses you cited. This is obviously a very stressing problem for any relationship and often times leads to divorce, though I would encourage cooperation and understanding between the couple as a better alternative in most situations.

There is also an issue of believers who've married non-believers, or the situation where one person in a non-believing couple accepts the Lord and the other does not. creating an immense amount of stress in the relationship as the two people involved would no longer see eye to eye on even the most fundamental beliefs in their lives, and of course children would only complicate this matter further. In these cases you can hardly blame a couple for splitting up due to such extreme differences.

and of course there are the cases, though thankfully rarer in which one person in a Christian couple will decide they don't want to be a Christian anymore, causeing the same sort of stresses as above.
And finally of course there is the factor of marrital abuse which is not only physical, but mental and emotional as well. Some people just don't fit well together, and unfortunately perhaps tried to make themselves look too good when the couple was dating, or just jumped in too fast to really get to know one another. Such situations can often lead to serious arguments where one or both people in the relationship can feel abused, even if the other had never laid a hand upon them. Though again cooperation and understanding are encouraged as better alternatives than divorce, it's hard to advise someone involved in a physically abusive relationship esspecially to stick with it and try and work things out.

In the end, each couple makes up their own mind about how they want to handle the situations faced in their marriage. Unfortunately many are too frightened to stick it out through the tough times, and this results in the high divorce rate among american Christians, which happens to be rather close to that of everyone else.

You're correct in saying it's hypocritical, and that it shouldn't be so, but it is, and since neither one of us can really force such beliefs, and even truths upon people, all that can be done is try and encourage more thought and understanding prior to marriage, and more endurance and determination to not let the relationship fail when it comes upon hard times.

God Bless,
Chake-Ri Shcos

Answer 5

I think to an unfortunate number of people, the Christian wedding ceremony is just a cultural tradition rather than a solemn vow before God to be treated with the utmost sincerity. If people took the vows more seriously in the first place...instead of just getting up there and reciting the words...they would take the marriage itself more seriously and maybe not be so likely to divorce. I think they forget that they are making a promise to God...not just to the other person.

Answer 6

Ummm - how about that 99 and four one-hundreds of those who claim the name of Christian, aren't Christian!

You'd be hard pressed to get them to admit it however.

If I say I'm a surgeon, would you let me operate on you without proof? Then why would you believe someone who says they are a Christian, without proof?

You will know them by their fruit. If their fruit is rank, ie divorce, adultery, drunkenness, etc, then they're not currently regenerate. So 'were' some of you is what God says of His elect, not so 'are' some of you.

Answer 7

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It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains 'in love', the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage' alone.

Answer 8

Because the so called Christian church is so utterly apostate and wicked at this point....you may do better to do your praying at the neighborhood disco tech. By the way....I'm a fundamentalist Christian disgusted with the embracing of everything wicked and calling it glorious that this church age has managed to get accepted. The spirit of Antichrist is leading the majority of mainline churches today.

Answer 9

A couple divorces because the vows have been broken. adultry, coventing another person or thing, etc. If they truely live a christian life, then there should be no need for a divorce.

"for better or worse, for richer or for pooer, forsakinging all others, till death due us part" How many couples stay 100% true to their vows?

Sadly, sinning is easier than living a christian life. Satan is not picky. We are all sinners, you just do your best to uphold christian values by repenting and asking forgiveness when we do slip.

Answer 10

Because, believe it or not, we are all human. I am a Christian who knows many many divorced people, who also happen to be some of my friends. I do not judge them. Please don't expect Christians to be perfect, because most of us know we are sinners too, that is why we accepted Christ's sacrifice in the first place, we know we need it!!!! I have been married 17 years, not super long, but long enough to know that taking my vow before God seriously does pay off. I love my spouse more than ever.