my boyfriend say he loves me but at times he can say some real mean things to me. And when i tell him he hurt my feelings! sometime he will tell me that he was just playing and if i can't take a joke then he will find someone who can.But i don't thing his playing when he say mean things, i love him very much and i just want to feel loved back all the time.
2007-07-22 14:45:32 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have known some real bastards that used the words I love you, like a band-aid to fix all of the wounds that they caused thru their own callousness. Please, Please! Leave this guy now, and find someone who actually understands the meaning of love and not just an effect that the word has had on his past girlfriends.
2007-07-30 05:09:36 · answer #1 · answered by Tom T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he loved you he would say ANY mean things to you. You deserve to be with someone who is going to LOVE you all the time and not when he feels like it. Saying mean things and then saying its a joke is wrong. Would he say those things to his mom, or grandma.?? Probably not so he shouldn't say them to you. It's disrespectful and wrong, if it continues I would say this could become some signs of mental abuse and that is just as bad as physical abuse. Think about it you love him, but he says mean things to you, but you don't love that, eventhough you've told him about it and how it makes you feel. So he has no reguard to your feelings. That's not cool.either he needs to shape up or ship out
2007-07-30 21:32:05 · answer #2 · answered by haptay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a control freak who gets his kicks out of hurting you.Someone who truly loves another, doesn't say hatefull things.
I do not understand what kind of love you have for this guy but it's not healthy .
It appears that you may have some self esteem issues. Why not talk to a counselor. You will find that there are many good men out there who do not treat women this way.
2007-07-30 21:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, find someone else. please. he sounds very insecure in himself and he is definitely verbally abusive.
saying mean things and then claiming 'its just a joke' is what a lot of verbally abusive bullies do when they are confronted.
when i met the fella i am married to he was the same way, but i was so in love with him that even when family and friends pointed out what he was doing i couldn't see it. i kept believing him when he said i couldn't take a joke and was just being a b-i-t-c-h.
i married him, the jokes never stopped, the nasty comments never stopped, in fact it got worse. other women would flirt with him right in front of me because he made it clear to everyone i was nothing. it took me 19 years to leave him, and 4 years of therapy to get my own self sorted out again.
please don't waste your life as i did. get out now. you do not deserve this treatment and don't ever let anyone tell you different!
be strong, be brave, and let him go. your life will be better because of it! and you will find someone who is good for you, i did, and life has been much better since!
good luck sweetie!
2007-07-30 20:40:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST, if this brother is telling u he can find someone else he don't DON'T love u. He treats u only how u allow him to. A man can only do to a woman what she allows him to do. He can't love you if he can't respect the fact that his "jokes" are hurting u. Dump the loser. Try crackin on him and his insecurities and see how funny he thinks it is.
2007-07-30 15:34:34 · answer #5 · answered by chocolaote16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insensitivity, meanness, callousness, disrespect, immaturity...let me know when I get to the part about him you love. Because if you reward this kind of person with your love, you will only get more of it with him. If he does find someone else who can take a joke (him), she would be worthy of your pity, not jealousy.
If you do not respect yourself enough to demand better, he is not going to make you feel loved, only used and unworthy of love. Walk away, with your head up. You deserve better.
2007-07-22 21:59:28 · answer #6 · answered by Julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just feels funny being lovey dovey all the time. Or possibly, when he says mean things to you joking around, he is really saying whathe truly feels but just wouldn't dare to say seriously so he jokes about it so he won't feel guilty.
2007-07-30 17:07:13 · answer #7 · answered by sweetface203 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to come off rude, but if he says mean and hurtful things, then he probably means every word. You don't have to put up with that. Love and respect yourself and maybe he'll start to love and respect you too. But if he doesn't, that will be his lost not yours.
2007-07-30 17:10:43 · answer #8 · answered by rle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like he doesn't really care about you. Those are the remarks of a guy who is using someone. I would drop the guy like a hot potato and find a MAN who will respect you.
2007-07-22 21:49:26 · answer #9 · answered by mark g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once the words leave the lips you can never take it back... verbal abuse is just as bad as physical, think about your relationship, if you're not happy, I'd rethink it again... Life's way to short to be in an unhappy relationship.
2007-07-30 15:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by DoUreallywantme2answerthat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋