I just started dating a great guy, there is everything right with him except he tells me that he looks at porn once in awhile. I am NOT COOL with that and I told him so. I told him it hurts me and I view it as a form of cheating. Is there any way I can help him overcome his addiction. I have tried a few things, but it's tough for him to stop going to the sites to look.
2007-07-22 12:52:03 · 31 answers · asked by AmandaHugNKiss 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Not all men look at porn...sorry. My last boyfriend was totally against it and all he needed was me. I view porn as immoral and disgusting. I would never watch it...it's cheap and sick. It's just a lame excuse for men to jerk off to a stupid fantasy. I told him I'd dump him if he continues.
2007-07-22 13:07:25 · update #1
Here's a nice poem for porn addicts written by me:
Porn Addiction:
By Amore!
climbing up your fathers bookcase to reach the top
penthouse naked ladies
a little boys magical fantasy
ingrained photos shape your eyes to look at women
to objectify
Am I not beautiful enough for only your eyes to see
lavish, loving and real I can touch your face
that naked beauty could never love you in this space
I'm not here to compete with your dirty women on the screen
I'm a sight unseen
you don't see enough of me
to fill your
void
I'm not here to compete with your dirty women on the screen
So I'll leave you to jerk off in your penthouse suite
lost to pointless ******* fantasies
2007-07-22 13:47:57 · update #2
First I applaud you Amore for putting up with all thes decrepid excuses for awnsers and I hope that I can help you out.
www.xxxchurch.com
thats a site for guys, even girls who are addicted to porn. It has software and stuff that will notifie whoever is set too, that they asscesd the site(s)
I dont look at porn and honestly men dont need to look at it.
every guy in the world could tell you they do and Id say we dont and it would prove all of them wrong.
Im glad im not the only one who thinks so though.
For a guy to look at porn is like cheating totaly, they are just using girls as objects like that. thats why alot of dating relationships are just about sex, cuz thats all men care to think about.
Its true guys receve a great deal of sexual pleasure thru our eyes, that aint bad in itself, its how God made us.
We also have a desire (beacuse the way our bodies work) sex about every 3 days. again, the way were made. A guy can have self control, trust me. I do and so do alot of my friends. and I keep them accountable to it. same vice virsa.
Any guy who feels the need to look at that stuff should be kicked to the curb. there not men, there immature males who are only thinking with there smaller head.
2007-07-22 12:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by robertt223 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
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2016-07-27 21:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are so many women insecure about porn? Porn isn't cheating, period...and viewing it 'once in a while' (your words) does NOT constitute an addiction.
Guys are visual creatures...it's how Nature made them. There is nothing wrong with them enjoying looking at pics or movies of naked people or sex...YOU (the girlfriend/partner) aren't always around to satisfy that desire when it comes to them and I would guess you'd prefer it to be a pic in a magazine (or computer) or a video than a live woman, yes????
I like porn on occasion...I have my own little video collection. No big deal. If I watch it, it doesn't mean I like a guy I'm dating less...it means nothing more than I felt like watching porn. Same as with the majority of guys who look at porn and who are not addicted (addiction is a whole 'nother issue). It has nothing to do with the women in their life...it doesn't mean you aren't enough, that you aren' t appealing, or that they don't dig you. It simply means they like to look at porn.
Relax...there are SO MANY issues worth getting worked up about when it comes to relationships (lies, betrayal, actual cheating, criminal behavior, etc) that porn really should be a non-issue. No doubt you probably have a habit or pleasure that he doesn't dig...
2007-07-22 12:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
For starters, masterbating over a porn star that is having sex with another start isnt cheating, that would be like him saying "you cant watch movies with your favorite star in it" because he has sex with female actors. Its essentually the same but on a larger scale.
Would him masterbating on his own count as cheating. Porn is just a tool to help you get wood, not too indifferant to a females viabrator. If his addiction to porn is ruining your sexlife then yes you may need to bring it to table and discuss why. But there is no harm with him masterbating on his own.
2007-07-22 12:59:21 · answer #4 · answered by ChAtMaN 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Porn is a very powerful influence. Men get intense pleasure from it, and especially if they're having trouble coping with other aspects of their lives, porn can be very addictive.
It's very good of you to stand up for yourself. However, you likely cannot help him end his addiction. If *he* wants to do it, there are counselors, support groups, etc. that can help. But if he doesn't see a problem with it, you should look for a different guy.
2007-07-22 12:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by Dugger A. 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Yes there is something you can do. Become mature in your thinking.
Visuals are what grabs men, as opposed to what women feel, so you cannot and should not relate to that desire.
If you feel that's cheating, then don't ever get married because it's natural for men to look at other women.
2007-07-22 12:58:54 · answer #6 · answered by Nort 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
In the words of my granfather, Accept him as he is or bring him beer... But he's not here right now so... If you told him to you don't feel comfortable with him watching porn, if you care and love me, stop watching porn and tell him why again!! If he keeps doing it, I would leave... or you can just accept him... Everyone isn't perfect... For instance, my new boyfriend, my dad and most iof my friends calls him "Monkey Man"...
2007-07-22 12:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Chamillitary Amberleé♥ 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have been married a good while. Even my husband looks at porn. You would rather for him to look at porn online then to look at a woman in the same room with him. That would really give him a reason to cheat, Count your blessings, almost every man looks at porn, I dont even know why. I would rather him to do that then cheat. My husband always tell me when he looks at porn. At least he told you. At least you know he's not gay. Good Luck. Forget about that minor things. Men are always going to look at porn especially if its free online.
2007-07-22 12:57:31 · answer #8 · answered by sexykp78 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Would you rather have him cheat? Guy's are horny we created to do one thing and die ... im serious its like the animal life cycle your born make babies and die. It's an instinct. If you really want him to stop u have 2 options talk to him again and tell him you'll leave him if he doesnt stop... or depending on how long uve been together get busy. But really its only porn it doesnt hurt anyone why does it bother you?
2007-07-22 12:58:12 · answer #9 · answered by Danny D 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Yes....they all do it. I HATE it. I am married and I have thrown out SOOOOO many porn tapes, mags, pictures etc it is sad. He hides them and I always find them. It makes me sick and I feel cheated on too. I told him that. What stopped the online sites for me is he got our computer so full of viruses from the emails and sites he was looking on that my online college work got hacked into and we had trojans and viruses and had to get a complete hard drive wipe!
2007-07-22 12:57:50 · answer #10 · answered by Samantha 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋