can a Christan and a unchristian work out in love and life?

Question

i have been in love with this guy i have known him for about 17 years now !and now we r starting to date! and every one at my church tells me not to date him. that he will make me back sild. but i know him well and he like that im in church he is just not a christan. see i liked befor i got savied! and he and i have been friend for a long, long ,long time and we have had a hard time as far as... not wanting to lose our friendship or our moms and dads be ok with it and now every one at church!!ok so here the question! do you think god is ok with us? and then can it work ?what should i do ?

Answer 1

Yes it can..but both of you have to be open-minded. I am Catholic and my husband is Muslim and we have been married for 4 1/2 years. Like in all relationships, communication is key.

I've noticed that a lot of people keep bring up god and the bible. I want to know what do you believe? What happens to you in the hereafter is between you and God and NOT everyone else. Do not let anyone scare out of this relationship if you truly believe that this is the man for you. Like I said earlier communication is key. You will need to discuss children, how the household will run, finances, and employment. How devout is he in his faith and how devout are you in your? That makes a BIG difference. You need..no..you HAVE to talk about this. If you both have the same expectations and both love each other then there is no reason why you can't be together. Far as religion goes....well only you can answer that.

Answer 2

I think you're asking a few different questions here. I'll answer them one at a time.
Is God okay with us liking each other? Since it seems to me that God enjoys it when we're in relationship with each other (all kinds of relationships - friendships, parent / child, romantic, etc), I think God enjoys that you two are friends. I can't see God saying, "Don't care for each other." That's not the God I worship.
Since I'm a Christian and he's not, can our romantic relationship work? I think this is a trickier question. How important is being a Christian to you? How important is being a non-Christian to him? Does he belong to another religious tradition, or would he check the "none" box? Is he supportive of you being a Christian? I think it's very difficult if two people in a romantic relationship are not in agreement about their faith. (Then again, that's one of my high priorities for romantic relationships.) I don't want to say it's impossible for you, but I think it will be very difficult. You may want to ask yourself if the struggle will be worth it.
You said that you have known this guy for 17 years. How old are the two of you? I think you should talk about this stuff together and see where things go. Even if you don't end up in a romantic relationship together, it sounds like you have a strong friendship. (After 17 years, I would hope so! :-) ) I would say continue to enjoy your friendship with him, but think very carefully about how much effort you would want to put into a relationship (with anyone, not just him) when your religious views are not the same. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I was in this same situation not long ago with my man. The best thing to do is ignore everyone else and go by your heart. They wont be the ones who will be married to him maybe in the next few years, so they aren't the ones to tell you what you should do with your relationship. God does speak against it, but truly if you love him, things could change. Best option would be to ask him if he would ever keep you from your church and then eventually ask him to go with you for a Sunday dinner or such.

Answer 4

No, Equally yoked comes to mind. There will be a lot of issues because you may not want to do something because of your faith and he will want to because he wants to. Also the men that you date should be looked at as the possible provider for you in marriage. That is what dating is all about. He is to guide you spiritually and protect you. If he does not do that it is not going to work out. If for what ever reason the relationship does not work the guy should leave you better than he started dating you. A little more wisdom, closer to God and so on.

Answer 5

Ok. Let's look at this.
You've known this guy for 17 years.
Even if you knew him since you were 1, you are 18.
Why are you letting someone tell you if you can date someone you've known all your life? If you feel he is a good person then his particular religious beliefs mean nothing unless he is trying to make you not believe and that makes you uncomfortable.

Answer 6

My fiance and I are of different religions (I am Christian and she is of a different faith). It depends on your respect for each other. You have a lot of serious questions to ask yourself: Is it worth risking your relationship with your family? Are you all right with his religion? Later, if you get serious, how will you raise your kids?

But that is all for the future. Pray, determine how much you love him (and why you love him), and have faith. God is all right with people of different races and faiths being in love; and remember that Paul told the Corinthians that one must not separate from one they loved because they were of a different faith. But your family and your church may not be ok with it. You'll need to know what is most important to you.

But yes, it can work! As long as the two of you want it to work.

Answer 7

Of course it can work out. It seems you and the boy have it all worked out...it is just the church that seems to go all crazy banana. Of course God is with you. Do not care about what the church says. It has NO SAY in what type of man you want to date!! He respects you and you respect him. Enough said!

Now, go to him and be happy!

*hugs*

Answer 8

Boy that is a good question. First of all as a Christian you have the Bible as your standard...the Bible clearly calls us to not marry someone who does not believe as you do. Dating is basically the beginning of exploring a future relationship that can lead to marriage. The mistake we can make is thinking we can change them to believe as we do but the motivation of their heart is to please the other person, not out of a love for Christ.
Our first calling is to love Jesus and seek to know Him better...our actions reflect who we love...do you love Jesus enough to just be a friend...to be salt and light? Or do you love yourself and would be willing to compromise your beliefs to be in a romantic relationship where the Bible warns us not to? I don't know that you would backslide (someone who knows you better can speak on that) but when you give your heart, your greatest treasure, to someone else, it is not a light thing.
It seems that you already know the answer to this question but wanting to seek for someone to agree with your dating him. I can't agree with that...I can encourage you to keep your eyes on the ONE who loves you best and most and follow Him.

Answer 9

god probably wouldnt like it, however in my opinion the god that you believe in is overrated. it would be the "correct" thing to do to preech and reach out to him as much as possible forever and ever until he became accepts your christ into his life.

I've been in that religion before, i see many flaws and things i dont care for. but the way that i look at is, religion and love are two different things. just like when they say dont mix business with pleasure.

Answer 10

2 Cor 6:14 is excellent admonition for this question. Someone in the relationship will eventually compromise their beliefs/ethics/morals in an effort to 'grow' the relationship. Who's it going to be? you? him? yeah, you might be together for the rest of your lives in relative happiness but at what real cost? be wise about this situation. it doesn't mean you can't be friends, but dating is supposed to lead to more (in christian circles, anyway) so be careful with your decision. God Bless!!!