A 10 year old and question about death?

Question

Our son has Aspergers and is 10. He is on Risperadol for the autistic symptoms. Anyway, I was cleaning and he came to ask me about Heaven and is there another place after that. I told him that when a person dies there is a Heaven and that is where you go- and we talked about this for awhile. I stopped cleaning because I knew he was upset and we sat and just talked. He seemed better...but a few minutes later- he had tears running down his face and was crying on the couch. He asked if it was normal to worry about dying and he worries something is going to happen to one of us or to him or his sister. We talked some about this and I tried to reassure him, but I don't think he is feeling better.

He frequently asks questions about science that are so high-level- I have to look up the answers with him to get him his answers. Lately, they are hypothetical.

What would you tell your child? My heart breaks because he has worked himself up so.

Thank you for listening.

He is in therapy weekly- play therapy.
He also receives speech, physical, and occupational therapy.

He goes to church weekly with us and is in a Bible Study Group.

I don't know what prompted it unless it was something at church today...but it sort of came out of the blue.

His therapist is on vacation for 2 weeks or I should ask her- but we will talk about it when he goes back. I often feel I am finding my way in the dark- despite all that I can find online and in books and I know my husband does too....we have learned to jump the hurdles as they come- but this stunned me.

Answer 1

Poor little guy! Sounds like he's seen or heard something about death recently that has set him off.

I don't mean to be invasive, but do you guys go to church? I only ask because sometimes children that feel afraid of death may be comforted in knowing that Heaven isn't just some "holding ground" where dead people sit around. Maybe he would be comforted by some more details about Heaven. Share with him that in Heaven, nobody ever hurts or cries; in Heaven every day is filled with God's love and glory and the music of angels; in Heaven time is endless and no one ever dies.

Try not to set him up for false security that no one he cares about is ever going to die, that will only shatter him when someone does someday, but give him the peace of knowing that when we love Jesus we will all spend enternity together and death is nothing more than a quick "see you later" when one person gets to go to heaven sooner than another.

Blessings to you and your family!

Answer 2

sounds like your doing the right thing. It's a tough situation and you have my deepest sympathy. I know what it's like to have a situation like that with a child. All you can do is reassure him, tell him about heaven, let him know that you will be together there again, and that whoever goes there first, get's to wait and watch until the rest of you meet there, how he can have a pet, or see old friends or family that may have passed before. That you will still talk to him all the time. Get some childrens books from the christian bookstore that tell stories about heaven and read them together. Meantime, keep the faith, God does work miracles. My middle son was born with a very rare medical condition ( only one other little boy had been born n the U.S. before my son with the disorder). I am the one who discovered that he was bleeding internally. The doctors were stumped, told us our son was not going to live past the first night. We prayed (and cried) and decided to fly him to the childrens hospital in Salt lake city Utah. There, to our amazement, was the medical team who handled the first little boy who had the same problem. In fact we met him and his family. Where it took many months to diagnose and help him, with that previous knowledge, the team had my son stable in just a few days, after a few weeks, he had major surgery to repair the damage, and within just a few short months, we had our son home. 20 years later, we are blessed to have him here, with us, the father of our first Grandson, and still a hand full!!! Never give up, never lose faith. Meantime, savor every precious moment you have with your son. No matter what, he will live forever, if you hold him in your heart.
May God bring you the miracle you seek.

Answer 3

I don't know what you believe about geting saved, but maybe he needs his own experience with getting saved. That's something he could do with you. I would go to the Bible, get all the scriptures and so on about getting saved. Turn it into a Bible Study for a week or so. Turn it into a family Bible Study. You can ask the therapist, but I think this is better for you and your husband to handle. The therapist is probably unable to go into scripture and so on, Even if it is a Christian therapist, there are still things they are legally unable to do. Don't automatically tell him he's saved. Let him come to that conclusion himself, being that really is something between him and God. He'll feel so much better if he comes to that conclusion himself. Another thing you can do is start praying with him every time he has a question, and ask if that makes him feel better, and ask if God has shown him anything. God may be showing him things already, which may be why he's so upset. But at least he's responsive to what he's being shown. Maybe he doesn't know what to do with it. Another thing, instead of seeing the therapist, see the pastor(s) of your church. They can do so much more than the therapist. Good luck.

Answer 4

dying be conscious may well be somewhat violent even though it has some morals too :| If she watches it, what unfavorable reactions could she have? She might think of violently, yet considering she enjoyed shoujo anime till now DN that may not be the case. She may well be observing the prepare because of fact the characters look effective. Or the assumption of the tale is extremely deep, and additionally you will learn alot as quickly as you end the prepare. it truthfully relies upon on how your pal thinks of the prepare.

Answer 5

You handled it exactly right. He is a very inquisitive child in addition to being very sensitive, a difficult combination to deal with. Next week he will go on to a different area to inquire about, so just be loving and reassuring until then. If he continues to dwell on it, you might consider counseling.

Answer 6

my son also has P.D.D. highest functioning, lowest grade of autism,,, he is 6 and we went thorough this,, i explained to him what heven was like,, what it would look like when he got there,, and before I knew it, he wanted to die,,, lol , but that took a whole nother 2 hours of explaining why he could not die,, and see the streets of gold that day... gl

Answer 7

You are doing the best thing possible...answering his questions....talking with him...my daughter asked about death also when I refered to my grandmother who died before she was born....and I told her the same thing you told your son.

Answer 8

I think you did the right thing by talking to him and answering his questions.

Answer 9

Start taking him to church.The United Pentecostal church is a good one.

Answer 10

yikes! I cant help ya on that 1