Her mother and I have been friends since high school and I was her maid of honor. But I don't particularly believe in all these archaic, mostly materialistic and self serving "honors" that have become routine. I am not religious in the least, and I don't need to church to tell me to care for a child that needs it. I'm honestly tired of all the expenses these ocasions bring up that I can't really afford. And I'm tired of going all out for everyone else, while noone ever reciprocates or appreciates. I would rather not do it, but at the same time I don't want to hurt her feelings. I'm just tired of participating in all these rituals that are nothing more than gift gathering expeditions, and in which I don't really believe.
2007-07-22 09:21:18 · 9 answers · asked by CJ 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Tell her that you feel unqualified, since you are not prepared to take responsibility for the child's moral education should he be orphaned. That's the serious part of being a godmother, and she can hardly complain if you bow out because you take it seriously.
I realize that for many people it is mostly for the gift-giving aspects, but it would be undiplomatic to suggest that such is the case with your best friend.
Do thank her for the honor she wishes to bestow upon you, but insist that you are unqualified, and that she should choose someone who is closer to her religious or spiritual pathway than you feel you can commit to. You could even explain that you are sufficiently unsure of what you believe that it would be unjust to have a child relying on you.
But don't go calling her greedy on her child's behalf. It's not necessary.
2007-07-22 09:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by auntb93 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some of these answers indicate that being a godparent means you will take custody of the child if the child is orphaned. While that has become the custom for some, that is not truly what being a godparent is supposed to mean. It does mean that if the child is orphaned, you are to have responsibility for the religion and moral upbringing of the child. But it is entirely possible for you to be the godparent and for someone else to be the person designated to take custody in the case the child's parents die. It is an honor to be a godparent, and unless you feel very strongly about not doing it, then I recommend that you accept the honor and serve as a godparent to the child.
2007-07-22 16:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by muriel12 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This one is easy to get out of. Being the godmother is NOT symbolic, it means you will care for the child in case of the death of both parents. Just tell your friend that you don't think that you are suited for this task.
BUT....
This won't solve the bigger issue. You and your old friend are growing apart, and you need to address this. There is no point in telling her that you think she is a bit shallow. Instead, start putting some distance between the two of you. When you do see her socially, make sure that it is an 'uplifting' experiance. Do something other than sit around a lunch table and listen to her carp on about her material life.
It's a sad fact of life, but sometimes our friends change over time and become people that we don't want to spend time with. But, an old friend is like family. It's important to cherish them.
Good luck.
2007-07-22 16:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by Bruce J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend that while you are honored and pleased that she would appoint you Godmother,you feel that at this time you are not able as you have some personal concerns you need to deal with.You need not say more than that.Don't let anyone push you into something you do not want to do.The idea of Godmother is to see to it that the child is spiritually looked after.And as you not religious you can add that in should she press you . Do not worry about hurting her feelings if she is a true friend,she will understand.
2007-07-22 17:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a godmother one of your duties is to ensure the child has a proper religious upbringing. Just tell your friend that while you are very flattered at being asked that due to your lack of religious beliefs you do not feel qualified and that the responsibility should be left to someone whose religious values model those of the parents of the child.
2007-07-25 01:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
considering the fact that you claim to have no religion, I cannot imagine why anyone would expect you to be a God Mother. The 'job' of such a person is to make certain that the religious upbringing continues, in case the parents are killed, or in some way, unable to take care of that.
2007-07-22 17:53:48 · answer #6 · answered by laurel g 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How aptly you have put it. "Gift gathering expeditions" is a good one. I don't believe in being a godmother or godfather either. Just tell her you are very honored to be asked, but would have to reject it because you don't subscribe to it.
2007-07-23 03:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely she knows how you feel about such things since you two have been friends for ages.
Why can't you tell her you just don't feel you are the "one" for that kind of responsibility?
Really, I have never known an instance when the godparents took custody anyway.
2007-07-22 16:31:50 · answer #8 · answered by outtahere2day 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I thought being a godmother just meant you would take care of the child in case anything happened to the parents. Why don't you just tell them you'll do that?
2007-07-22 16:27:05 · answer #9 · answered by scheidemann2007 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋