Has anyone tried to better themselves (eg. new job, better attitude etc) but encountered resistance from friends and family? How are you supposed to deal with this? If you abandon them all then you've actually worsened yourself!
2007-07-22 08:52:12 · 13 answers · asked by abyssmaster 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
One must recognise that to better yourself does not involve any cooperation from friends or family. It is something which you do alone.
The less help they give you, the more you will better yourself. You do not abandon them, you separate dependency from them and what you control.
When you focus on what you control, that is what you change. You cannot change anything outside of your control directly. You can only influence and be patient.
Do not try to change other people. Influence comes eventually when you have bettered yourself. It is not something you can rely on. You can rely completely on what you control.
Learn patience!
2007-07-22 09:10:36 · answer #1 · answered by James 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, no you haven't but in all actuality distancing yourself totally is just a last resort effort reserved for the truly negative influences. In many ways it may be possible to gain some support (to the extent that they are capable) for your new-found position from family and friends...many of them genuinely want to see you do well. But for those that don't (those select few who seem to enjoy your misery and encourage you to give up and backslide)...when you jettison those people from your circle of influence, you have improved yourself immeasurably by destroying the support system that sustained your destructive behavior. Make more positive associations; among some of those you will establish positive friendships. Then you will have begun growing a positive support system that reinforces positive behavior.
2007-07-22 09:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have. For the purpose of bettering myself (and realizations brought on through experience), I joined the Goth subculture.
** Surprise Surprise **
Resistance from friends and family.
I lost those intolerant friends, and gained better friends, friends who understand me and can guide me in the path of Christ better. Friends who are not consumed with hatred.
If you abandon the friends who are worse then the friends you have gained, then in all, you haven't actually worsened yourself.
Think of it like this. You have a broken CD player. You exchange it for a working CD player. Now you have a better CD player, and losing the old one wasn't so bad!
2007-07-22 09:07:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get resistance from my family whilst just living, let alone bettering my self, but yes when I achieve a personal goal they'll say things like well lets see how long it lasts, that's good BUT... . They never just express happiness for me, I never know if its just learnt behaviour to put people down or like jealousy. Whatever you do don't let there opinions stop you going where you want to in life because you'd regret chances you missed but you'd regret them even more if you missed them because someone close told you to and you'd end up resenting the person more in the end.
2007-07-22 09:12:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you abandon family and friends, then ultimately you will regret it.
You need to ask for advice, and support from the people who give you resistance.
But listen to their advice very carefully. Often we cannot see what is in front of us, but those that love us can.
Ultimately, you own your own destiny. But without family and friends it could be a very lonely place.
2007-07-22 08:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by wonkyfella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
http://www.businessballs.com/desideratapoem.htm
have a read of desiderata ...
Speak your truth quietly and clearly
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Be yourself
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
# # #
That's a few hints ... and stick the poem up somewhere it helps.
2007-07-22 09:30:56 · answer #6 · answered by Willim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the goal is to better yourself, at times you have to break away from those people that will keep you from reaching your goal. If those people really care from you and are really your friends they should understand and give you support.
2007-07-22 08:56:23 · answer #7 · answered by AZTECAMAN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
despite their unsupportive attitude, try and keep it up. you are you and you don't need their permission to become a better person. i don't exactly know why they won't help and support you for wanting to do this, because that just doesn't make sense. i hope you can do it on your own or find someone who can help you. best of luck.
2007-07-22 08:56:04 · answer #8 · answered by * 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to abandon them...Just put a little distance between you and them. See them now and then.
Don't tell them everything that you are doing and don't ask them for any advise.
Good luck.
2007-07-23 04:51:12 · answer #9 · answered by Afi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have your own mind and options to take the road you wish to tread. listening to others with an open mind knowing if you get it wrong you only have yourself to blame.good luck in your life ahead it isnt easy.
2007-07-22 09:09:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋