abusive relationship?

Question

I broke up with my bf but he keeps insisting to be with me. Hes so controlling and i dont know what to do about it. The last time i tried to break up with him he pulled my hair and grabbed me by the neck and told me, youre not leaving me. I know im weak for not doing anything about it but i CANT do anything. I dont want to report him or anything because i dont want all this to get bigger. I even found out hes been going through all my mails and my calls. He told me that my x is only cussing me out in the email and telling me **** and now im doubting if he really said that. I feel bad because my x tried to call and i only hanged up on him thinking he would say what my bf told me he supposedly said. I cant trust this guy anymore. And these past couple of times that ive been with him hes been forcing me to sleep with him. He IS my bf so i feel like i HAVE to. I cant push him away because hes stronger than me. I know im so weak and i dont know what to do about it.

Answer 1

He sounds dangerous. Get a restraining order against him, so he can't come within 50 ft. of you, or else he would be arrested. Have cops on speed-dial so you can report violations ASAP. Get out of this abusive relationship before it escalates to something worse. Call your local police office. They will tell you what to do.

Answer 2

You are a living example of why having sex before marriage is such a bad idea. Sex forms a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bond which is difficult to break. I guarantee that if you had said "no" in the first place he would not be so obssessive and possessive.
Okay, so what's done is done. The present problem is that he is so abusive.
If you have broken up with him, why, for goodness sake, are you EVER anywhere near him, especially in a circumstance where he can force you to have sex.........which by the way, is called RAPE if you are being forced!
You saying that you can't report him is an excuse. Nothing short of him keeping you hostage in his home is stopping you from reporting him to the authorities. What is stopping you is YOU. He is making you feel guilty and scared. Stop letting him control you!
I had to force my sister to report her abusive husband to the police because he had such a mental hold on her. I had to literally MAKE her do it, but once she did she realized it was the best thing she could have done. She came out from under that abusive oppression and slowly became an emotionally, as well as physically free woman.
Report this jerk before he puts you in the hospital....or worse.

Answer 3

He is esculating it not you. You broke it off he is not honoring that and is abusive. Normally, you break it off and guys who are normal say bye bye forever.

He is abusive and you must report him to protect yourself. Get the order (restraining order is essential) Change your numbers, e-mail everyway he contacts you that is a good start. He calls at work hang up. If he keeps calling leave phone off hook in drawer (so he can be violent toward himself-trust me he won't figure out you are gone for 30 min. when he gets going) and walk away for your coffe break.
Work may even have to be told if he calls you or comes in here.

Start carrying mace or something because even with a restraining order they sometimes will come after you in a public place.
Tell a trusted friend at work or school and someone can walk or drive you to your car. Don'tlet friend drive off until you are in car,windows up, doors locked, and engine running. Hopefully, this will deter him from approaching you in public. If he violates the order you must everytime report it. CHances are he has done this before and some other gal has also had an order out on him. Good luck

Answer 4

U ARE NOT WEAK. Leave immediatly now at this minute call the police and there are always safe houses u can stay at. My ex got to choke me till i couldn't breathe all i did was pull on his sweater the police were called I didn't report it but he got to report what i did to him. I am thankful of my 5 days of working with an orange vest and in the hot sun picking up other peoples trash. I had 2 days of 8 hrs of angermanagment. And a year of probabation. Yeah I am not an angry person anymore however my ex is now looking for me. He knows where I am everyday I think about if he's around the corner going to kill me or even hurt me. Please leave him. Dont go home go to a safe house or somewhere he doesn't even now about. I will pray for you. Be safe. find some pepper spray. and remember there i one defensive move, email me back and i will tell you this, you use your hand. please get ahold of me.

Answer 5

Many girls feel the same as you do right now...you're not alone....If hes being violent or controling you to have sex then its time you stand up for yourself and get rid of him. Many innocent girls like you get killed like that and before it reaches that peak get out girl!!!True love is hard to find but in your case its worth it to wait. Reporting him will only save your physical being as well as your life...I've been through that and I realized by walking away that was the best thing for me and now while I got out I like to spread the word that you can too! Everyone knows that love is based on trust,,,,if you cant trust him you shouldn't be with him.He may be phyiscally stronger but you involve the law to protect you and tell your family I can assure you your life will be in a better direction.....I know you dont just want to be a stastic...Good luck!!! Its gonna be hard at first but what they say what doesnt kill you will make you stronger!!!

Answer 6

Is it that you feel his intensity of emotions must means he cares for you? Are you needing this kind of attention THAT badly? You don't have to do anything or be with anyone you don't want. That is all in your mind. This situation can get much worse if you let it keep going. If you truly don't like this abuse, then tell him not to call or contact you in any way, then get a restraining order. He won't get in trouble for having a restraining order against him, unless he violates it. Then maybe take a look inside yourself and try to find out what gravitates you toward a man of this type. Good Luck!

Answer 7

the best thing you can do is sit down with your mom and dad and tel lthe m what is going on. even if you are 25.. thn cal lthe police with your parents there the whole time. tel lthem exactly what you say here. tel lthem you feel as if your life is threatened, and you are scared. tel lthem you want a restrainign order on him and to press charges and anything else you can do to make him stay away.
change your email password and put a code on your phone. you cna go to your local radio shack and get a tiny body recorder to wear in a pocket of ur pants or whatever, and when you around him hav eit on to record what goes o and then take it to the police to prove wha t he does to you. setup smal lhidden cameras in the living room an your bedroom of your house before he comes home or over. itl ltape the whole thing.
get out sweetie itll only get worse.
and no mtter how long youve been with somebody. you are NEVER supposed to have sex with them just because you feel that its your duty. sex is somethgin you should do if you feel it is right. not because you should.

Answer 8

Unless you do something about this it is going to get bigger so you NEED to report and if you have to get a restraining order telling him he can't even come one inch near you!! You can also maybe stay with a friend or parents you might feel alot safer if your not alone! If ever threatens to have sex with you ar he'll kill you have a gun with you at all times!! Or simply kick him in the balls and then pull out the gun!(scare him don't shoot him if you take that advice but I wouldn't so just get this reported)!!!!

Answer 9

either u report him, or ur gonna get urself killed. if u supposibly broke up with him, then y r u hanging out with him? and making u sleep with him? funny the last i checked that was rape. if u really want to get away from u should stay away from him and call the cops. it doesnt matter if u dont want to make this a big issuse, think about ur family, how do u think they r gonna feel when a cop comes knocking on their door telling them ur dead bc u wouldnt get urself some help from ur crazy ex?

Answer 10

You are right about one thing. You said you don't want it to get bigger so you don't report him. Honey, it will get much bigger if you don't. What he is doing to you right now is probably just the beginning. You need to go to someone you can trust and get help. What he is doing now is showing you his character which is terribly flawed. You deserve to live peacefully and not have to put up with him simply because you are afraid. What about talking to your parents about this? And as far as you saying he is forcing you to sleep with him, he in fact is raping you from the sounds of it. Any sex against your will is rape. He is offending you in more ways than I can say. I am not an authority but my experience tells me these thing don't get better, they get worse. The best advise I can give you is to involve the people in your life that you love and trust. There is help out there. Don't be afraid to get it. This man is a very dark force in your life. God knows what happened to him to have turned out this way but you need to get him out of your life but only with the help of others. Surround yourself with them and let them help you. You need to really see where this could go. You certainly deserve so much more for yourself. I would rather be alone than to be with someone such as this person in your life now. I will pray for your safety and resolution to this awful problem