This question is for my sister. She has just started a job and her husband does not want her to work. He thinks she should stay home and take care of their baby. He's a control freak and he has threatened to kick her to the curb (previously), which is another reason she needs a job...to save some $ just in case. Long story short, he is making it very difficult for her and trying to get her to quit by making her home life miserable (ie not letting her sleep at night and not helping with their child). Does anyone have any advice or suggestions I can pass on to her.
2007-07-22 07:42:41 · 23 answers · asked by karen s 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
her child is 1 1/2 years old if it makes a difference
2007-07-22 07:49:39 · update #1
He doesn't want her to work, because then she CAN leave him... have her go to the local women's shelter and talk with an advocate... they'll help her make sense of it all..
The fact that he would "kick her to the curb" literally or metaphorically is very scary....
2007-07-22 07:49:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
They should have talked about it before they got married. It would have made things easier. Anyway, the best your sister can do is to let her husband see reason why she has to work, not because she is running away from her responsibility as a mother and as a wife but, to help augment their income with the additional pay she is getting from her job. If her husband doesn't even listen or try to understand her purpose for going to work, then, maybe she can find a job that is home-based that way she can still keep an eye on the baby and do house chores. Maybe her husband just doesn't feel comfortable with her leaving home and not taking good care of their baby. They just need to meet half-way, to do some adjustments in their married life so that there will always be understanding and harmony between them.
2007-07-30 04:28:01 · answer #2 · answered by annabelle p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless the couple is rich enough to hire domestic help, one person should stay home to take care of the baby and the house. The homemaker's job is a full time job. Some one has to get up in the middle of the night for the crying baby. Plenty of women stay home. Some men also stay home because their wives make more money than they. After the kids start going to school, there will more time for the homemaker to do whatever she or he wants.
2007-07-30 02:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by Oliver K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a good scenario. My best friend is currently getting a divorce because her husband has done nothing but criticize her for working (she works from home and pulls in about $70,000 a year). The thing is, he criticizes her, but then complains that they don't have enough money!
She supported him for 8 years of their 13 year marriage---making $150,000 a year, while he finished his "schooling"
The man is almost 50!
This is a matter of respect and loving some one enough to support what THEY want.
He may feel threatened and feel emasculated. This happens. I suggest she check out Alison Armstrong to find how to better communicate with him, so that he will work with her and understand it's important to her.
2007-07-30 11:12:37 · answer #4 · answered by blondone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see a single Mom in the making and think she should tell her husband so. The bible says for her to be submissive but submitting to a curbing is way beyond obeying.
She should explain her fears and doubts to him and give him a chance to do the same.
God as always is the one true answer. I'd tell the guy to leave until he can show some respect for his own family. He should start looking at church.
God Bless!
2007-07-30 04:21:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - this is not a R&S question but a good one.
She gets to make a choice. She can continue to work and put up with her idiot hubby, she can quity her job, she can keep her job and quit her hubby - that might just about cover it.
Any thoughts she has about how to change his behavior are a waste of brainwaves.
My guess is this is just the part of the iceberg that sticks out of the water - there is alot more ugliness going on in that relationship that we can't see.
Pray for her.
2007-07-22 14:56:42 · answer #6 · answered by Richard of Fort Bend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did this man buy your sister or marry her? He has absolutely no right to tell her whether she can work or not. She needs to dump this jerk just as fast as she can possibly dump him. By the things you have told us, he is abusing her. If he doens't want to take care of his child, then what good is he? See if your sister can move back home and start a new life. There are plenty of good men out there (somewhere), and if she never finds another, then good for her.
2007-07-30 14:15:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, someone needs to watch the child, especially one so young. I wouldn't be so quick to paint the man a "control freak" just because of this.
The only advice I could offer, given the sparse details of the situation, is marriage counselling.
2007-07-30 05:21:34 · answer #8 · answered by swinger_32839 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you are very worried about her. Her husband is very immature and insecure and she is probably doing and saying things that cause him to feel more this way and they are probably very young.
She wants him to stop acting like an idiot and grow up and he wants her to be submissive so that he will feel secure. The way they are going about it, isn't working.
They need certified Christian counseling. The people here on this board are not qualified to give answers, we don't know all of the facts. The marriage needs to be mended and healthy for the sake of the child. This is serious.
2007-07-30 11:12:11 · answer #9 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is already working against his wishes, then might I suggest that she has already made a decision? It is now just a matter of time........
She has to make up her own mind, of course, and no one can know what is truly happening in that relationship, save her.
In the game of "Who rules the marriage?" there soon will be no marriage.
Love or Dominion is her choice.
Rather "Who will raise the child?" might be the better game. Together.
2007-07-22 14:58:10 · answer #10 · answered by John J Bonner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nowadays both individuals should work, times r hard for everyone we r all trying to survive this system. He is not looking in the best interest of the family., nor is he respecting his wife's life. She needs to keep her job and save some money because you just never know when he may leave. I will pray for your sister
2007-07-22 14:51:49 · answer #11 · answered by Unique 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋