I need help with my mouthy 11 year old daughter!?

Question

My daughter is 11 years old and she talks back and argues all the time. I need to find ways to get this to stop or at least slow down. I don't spank or hit so I need help with other ways of punishing her. Or giving her consequenses. What has worked for you? Any idea's on what I can do to nip this in the bud? Thanks in advance for your answers.

Answer 1

Tell her to put a big huge cork in it!!! If she can not talk to you with out showing you respect then the conversation is over. Walk away from her if she is arguing and talking back and tell her you will not continue the conversation until she can get it together and just ignore her.

Answer 2

NO MORE WARNINGS! I decided to do this with my daughter (11 also) . I told her one more time how to speak to me appropriately. Then from that time on, If she mouths off, I just tell her what the consequence is. If she keeps going, I just keep lengthening the sentence or adding to the consequence. I will not argue with her, I will not repeat the rules, I will not let her mouth rule this house. I haven't had much of a problem since she has seen that I don't give in and I don't shorten the consequence even when she is doing well. She is old enough to know how to behave, and I expect her to be respectful even if she doesn't like what my decisions are.

Answer 3

All 11 year olds are mouthy. Unfortunately, at that age, they think its a right of passage to mouth off to their mothers and fathers. I'm sure a number of people reading this thread did the same thing, at the same age.

Every child is different. I think that the best approach is to first try talking with her. Use words like 'respect' and 'lady-like.' Try to make her understand that its not appropriate to disrespect your parents, or act like, well, a guy.

If the first approach doesn't work, use the age old rule of grounding. Take away her phone, her television, her computer- there are plenty of things you can do without physically touching your child.

If the problem progresses, it may be time to talk to a professional. Sometimes a school can be a good resource, or a local community center.

Answer 4

I would recommend rather than taking away from her, being proactive and allowing her to earn privileges. For example, 1 day with no arguing earns points toward a trip to the mall (or some other reward/event she would like). Set up a points system that you can both work with and make sure there is a visual count (that you are in charge of tabulating) so she can see how close she is toward her goal. Bottom line, if she isn't doing her part of the bargain, she doesn't work toward the goal. She then needs to take ownership about her behavior in order for it to change. Taking things away constantly takes care of the situation for that moment and will not elicit a long-term change.

Answer 5

well if you cuss at home then stop because then she will get the picture that she is not supposed to do that and dont let her watch any movies that the rating is over pg cuz i am 11 years old and i talk back and argue all the timeeee!! but i dont cuz. and i am not happy that my mom lets me watch watever i want. the only way my mom can teach me to stop being a brat is to ground me for a week and give me a spanking but really hard. and if she has a cell phone then u should take it away but tell her y u r taking it away. well i hope my info helps you!!

Answer 6

Well if you don't want to spank her another punishment that might work is to stand her in the corner and every time she comes out take her back until she stays for the amount of time you set up. Also you could make her march while standing in the corner. Take away things like TV or phone. Since it is summer, don't let her go to the pool or hang out with friends.

Answer 7

I stripped down my 11 year old son's room to nothing. He has bed and dresser and his pet hamster. He has no toys, no priveledges, only daily chores. When he does a chore well and without being told or asked to do it, he is rewarded with a priveledge. 1 hour with a favorite toy, game or tv show.
You have to let your child know you are the parent and you are in control. Time outs don't work anymore, get creative. If you have never spanked, then it's not too late to start. You don't have to all out beat her, but a couple swats to get the point accross.

Answer 8

Pretty much all girls go through this starting at that age but usually a simple grounding or something taken away like a school dance or a trip to the mall with some friends will help. It will get easier but probably not until she is 18 and out of the house! :)

Answer 9

My oldest tried this at 11. I replied," I am your mother, and you do NOT talk to me like that! "
Then explain consequences. If you don't stop it now, it will get much worse.
Suggestions: do what bothers her most, because every kid is different.
1] take away what she uses most - cell phone, computer, playstation, TV, Music, for a week.
2] or, ground her. She goes to school and church, that's it.
No sports activities, no parties, etc. Oh, her coach will be mad? Tell her to tell coach what she said to you.
3] make sure everyone enforces this rule - dad, grandparents, etc.
4] if she breaks her punishment, extend it to 2 weeks, or take away ALL electronics.
5] does she have chores? Make sure she does one a day, mon - friday. [ clean a bathroom, clean her room, vacuum LR, DR, FR, hall, weed flowerbeds, mop kitchen. ] Tell her assignments, and let her choose which day to do them.
Make her put own dishes in dishwasher, do own laundry, throw away own trash, etc.
6] if she refuses, no spending money, no transportation, [ even from other people, etc.
7] most of that stuff is learned from older siblings, parent to grandparent, or friends. Earning social activities is helpful, because they are more choosy about who they spend time with.
8] have a sleepover after she toes the line for about a month
9] volunteer to carpool friends - you hear all kinds of good/bad stuff!
10] don't be afraid to correct other people in your home or car - language, behavior, etc. Also, if you overhear any incorrect info about sex, drugs, alcohol, say " heard you guys discussing the pill. Did you know..." Never let on you know who said what. The kids get used to this, and will eventually ask YOU questions over their ignorant friends.
I have been asked questions by almost every one of my boys friends - male and female.
11] tell your children where you are going at all times [ work, store, date with Dad ] and how to reach you [ work phone, dad's cell ]; so it becomes tradition. Then your kids have to do the same! Sneaky, huh?
12] my boys are now 18 and 23, and they behave, do chores at home, and sometimes still ask questions!
My mom, age 73, tells people where she is going, and my husb and I still tell the kids; and they tell us!

Answer 10

After 11 years, you don't know how to discipline your brat? You wonder why she talks back and argues with you? I wonder why also. No, I really do.

Ever heard of grounding, time outs, etc.? And spanking isn't bad at all. This is just proof that not disciplining your kids causes them to turn into brats like your daughter.

Sorry if you don't like this answer, but it's the truth.

Answer 11

well my parents used to do this to get my brothers and i to stop being mouthy, try taking away thing such as no computer no phone, or no going to friends houses.
if that doesn't work take her on a guilt trip make it look like she really hurt your feelings and she will feel bad and apologies. You also have to let her know that tantrums, screaming and crying won't work. if she stomps her fett or cry's send her to her room for the night. if she slams the door make her stay there an extr night. or you could also make her stay in her room till she rights a letter of apology. if she holds her tongue and isn't mouthy reward her give her things let her have someone over, etc. another thing that sometimes works is go on the internet look up bible versus about not talking back and make a list for her to look up and memorize if she is mouth! Hope this helps!!