I have just received notice today that my aunt has been given 6-8 weeks to live. I am very upset and would like to fly out to see her, however, someone told me that it might me better to remember her in her better days than to see her sick before she dies. They said if my last memories of her were good ones the grieving process might be easier. I haven't seen or talked to my aunt in 3 years. Is it smart for me to visit her now?
2007-07-22 06:25:22 · 39 answers · asked by junebug12506 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
I think the question is do you think it will make her happy to think that you would bother to fly out to see her at this time and would you regret not making the effort to see her and talk to her in the future when it is too late. Never put off putting out a little love in the world, you have no choice when she is gone. I think it is lovely that you are even thinking about it and it implies that you care...maybe you should let her know that too. I think your friend is just thinking of you but it sounds like it may make you feel better to let her know how much she means to you before she goes. Greiving is hard but much harder when you have regrets and cannot forgive yourself for decisions made when you had the choice. I have many friends and family that I have also not seen for years but it doesn't mean that I do not care about them, just that we all get caught up in our own lives and time flies by. I suspect that by writing in answers you have subconsiously answered your own question. Take care and best wishes to you. x
2007-07-22 06:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your aunt needs a loving family around her. If you can get there it will help her to know she is cared for.
I think you would be wise to go and see her. The grieving is still the same regardless if you go or not. Do remember that memories are in your head and although it hurts to see someone in pain or very ill, the good memories will stay in you forever.
Show your love by going to see her.
2007-07-22 10:20:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go with your own feelings and forget what your friend says. Not everybody processes grief in the same way.
As long as it's not a great hardship (expense, time off from work, etc), it would be a very kind gesture to go see your aunt.
Two of my Dad's sisters died in the last year. One lived close to me so I went to see her several times and I'm very glad I did.
The other sister lived like four hours away. I didn't go because it was a long distance. I knew she was very ill, but I didn't expect her to die that soon after her sister. My cousin and I were going to ride down there together for her funeral, but the weather report was giving severe winter storm warnings and we decided not to go since the drive might have been dangerous. I feel bad that we didn't go, but I think it was a wise decision.
2007-07-22 07:37:05 · answer #3 · answered by majnun99 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I visited my grandfather the day before he died of cancer I still remember how I saw him on the last visit but I also remember what he was like before he was ill but it is very upsetting to see your relative when they are sick why not ring her and speak to her first then see how you feel I am really glad that I went to see my grandfather I had a last chance to say goodbye even though he couldnt speak I am sure he was glad too follow your heart and do what you think is the best for both of you
2007-07-22 12:45:14 · answer #4 · answered by wifey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should visit her..
It made all my family feel better when my mum was dying you get to say goodbye one last time tidy & not over the phone. the good memorys will NEVER go away no matter how ill your aunti look's...
My mum went from a 49 year old woman to look like a 99 year old woman but she was still the same woman inside
Good Luck in what ever you decide to do & sorry to hear about your aunti x
2007-07-24 09:55:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My great nan became very ill, the family knew she was dying, and looked really sick, and I was asked if I would like to go and see her.
I said no, as I wanted to remember her as my healthy nan, not the sick, frail old woman she had become.
However, now, looking back (it was 8 years ago) I regret never being able to say goodbye properly. I suppose in the end, its down to yourself, just thought I would let you know how I felt in the same situation, and how I feel now.
2007-07-22 06:32:39 · answer #6 · answered by Tony R 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should definately visit your aunt. Since my husband has been told he is terminal, we've had all kinds of visitors... sometimes he can stay awake during the visits and sometimes he cant but he always enjoys knowing that people care enough to see him and let him know how much he is loved.
2007-07-22 19:40:26 · answer #7 · answered by JILON M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes,u should visit her.espesially since u did not see her for 3 years.i wish u good luck and i wish your aunt the best.,and only g-d knows weather she will live or not so leave it to g-d.i know how u must feel,i been through a similar situation.and also if your AUNT wants you to visit her, than visit her please. She is the one who is sick here and u may regret not visiting her and saying ''goodbye'' if she passes.Anyways good luck again♥ and no matter what happens to her,she will always be with you in your heart♥
2007-07-22 06:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is wise for you to go see your aunt. You will not have another chance to do so. Not only can it help you in your grieving process, it may be a wonderful comfort and show of respect to her, as well.
If time and finances allow, I encourage you to fly out to see her.
Hang in there,
~M~
2007-07-22 06:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by michele 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It should be up to her. Its not as if you are exactly close to her since it has been 3 years. She may not want to receive you now. OR she may! Call and ask her, saying' Would it be convenient for me to pay you a short visit" ? But do NOT stay at her place as that would be very inconvenient for whomever is caring for her
2007-07-22 07:16:24 · answer #10 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋