I have been with my bf for 4 months. He is french I am English, we both live in England. He has recently gone away on a trip to greece with a group of male friends- which he organised before he met me.
Im ashamed to say that i have tested him a few times to see if he was loyal and whether or not he would cheat. I had a fake profile with good looking pictures of another woman- but he turned her down (i.e me) each and every time, and admitted to her that he was falling in love with me.
He is kind and appears loyal- but before he went away on holiday he said that he wasnt bringing his phone as it was too expensive and he wasnt bringing his laptop. All i am to receive from him is a postcard in 10 days... is this unacceptable? Should i trust him? I thought it was odd as it doesnt cost much to go to an internet cafe abroad and email me to let me know he's ok?!
Its now been 3 days and im really worrying. Advice please!!
2007-07-22 04:40:18 · 21 answers · asked by Helen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I do agree, maybe i do need to get a grip and stop worrying, i just needed someone else to say it to me i guess! but my friends have said that its not really acceptable to not contact someone you are seeing for 10 days. Yes its only 10 days but it seems much longer.
I am also insecure which i realise, as i have had a past boyfriend of mine cheat on me repeatedly without me knowing, when i trusted him 100%.
People are right though, he has given me no reaosn to think he is cheating or that he has cheated so i guess i will just have to keep myself busy and hope for the best!
2007-07-22 04:51:54 · update #1
I would have insisted that he took his phone, how would he feel if you went away and decided not to take your phone. Its expensive to call from abroad but he could have spared the change to call from a phonebox or could have made this situation a bit easier on you. I would be upset but I guess this will test your relationship, when he gets back you should sit down and have a chat with him about why he didnt do anything to make you feel secure and at ease whilst he was away with friends. I think you should trust him but question why he hasnt taken his phone. If I was you I would plan a few things to do while he is away so that you arent constantly worried and stressing out over this-meet up with some friends and go shopping or meet up for a drink after work and try to get on with things while he is away. x
2007-07-22 04:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by peroxide.pixie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not taking his phone because of cost is a rubbish excuse, it's not that expensive to make 2 calls or texts over 10 days when he's there spending hundreds in booze, clubs, etc.
So ok, there is the old issuse here of you not trusting him, etc but being brutally honest, he's away in greece with the lads and there's a fair chance he'll end up having some female company.
I've been away on loads of lads holidays, with different guys and every single time there's been a bit of fun going on.
It might not be what you want to hear but i'm not going to lie to you about my experience.
2007-07-22 11:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi helen,
I understand your feeling , but sometimes, its ok to trust someone and let him be. If he loves you i'm sure he has reasons for not being in touch. It is expensive, to call or rent a computer at a cafe. Maybe he needs the money for something else. Besides, your relationship is just 4 months in. Its in the blossoming stages, so i'm definite that he is not as emotionally attached. I'm sure he is ok and will send you a postcard soon. Don't worry too much.
All the best!
2007-07-22 11:45:47 · answer #3 · answered by Valia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing if you don't trust him then you shouldn't even be together, and since this trip was scheduled before you two got together you'll either have to accept it or move on. (I know when I am on a trip the last thing I would want to do is spend my time on a computer or on the phone, to many things to see to little time to do it in.) If I were you I would wait for him and see how he acts then go from there, it sounds like you have someone good and faithful. But anything can happen.
As for sending you anything to let you know he is all right, well it would have been the nice thing to do but when people are having a good time they don't tend to remember the niceties.
Listen to your heart not your brain on this one.
2007-07-22 11:51:36 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you have tested him like that is a pretty bad underhanded trick so if he decides to dump you then it will be your fault.
I do not suppose that you will come clean and tell him what you did to test him nah thought not.
He has said he loves you but that is not enough it is you that is insecure not him so calm it down and things will work out.
The last thing you want to do is at the start of this relationship do things that question each others trust.
2007-07-22 13:45:44 · answer #5 · answered by Edgein 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex did this...as far as i know he didn't do anything...but i don't see the logic in not being contactable...what if there's an emergency??!
i hate that awful knot in your tummy it leaves you with. and you can't stop worrying, and your heart keeps jumping!!! i might have an underlying heart condition...
ok i'm not actually a christian but there's this little prayer "god give me the strength to accept the things i cannot change". i like to run it through my head at times like that. whatever is going on over there, there's no way for you to find out right now, there's no way for you to control him. so summon the strength and let it go for now, keep your mind busy with things you enjoy.
2007-07-22 11:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by Chasey Lane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, it seems like he hasn't given you a reason NOT to trust him although I find this a bit fishy. Its probably because he is going to be with his friends and a lot of times when guys are with their male friends, they just wanna be with them. They just wanna be themselves and not have to worry about you or you being sad because he is not around. I know its hard girl but try to stick with it a little while longer but only if you think it/he is worth it
2007-07-22 11:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by First Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't invite trouble. Let him enjoy his trip with his friends. Trust him until he gives you a reason not to.
2007-07-22 12:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i was him i would give you a number or some thing so i would not get in trouble when i get home and when i go place with my friends my girlfriend ask me what i did just to tell you he is doing some thing real stupid
2007-07-22 11:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by ryanram94 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry ...... my hubby goes away for six months at a time ... if you trust him all will be fine
2007-07-22 12:00:51 · answer #10 · answered by sammie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋