Being a full time mom, am I the only one who gets it?

Question

I love being a full time mom and housewife. Sometimes it's challenging, especially when my husband is deployed, and when my brain starts to feel kinda mushy from consistently being on a 2 year old level! But it's all worth it to me.

My question is this, am I the only person who gets offended by people and family who imply I am wasting my life or am lazy because I do not earn an income?

I could work if I wanted, and sure, the extra money would be great. But the price is too high as far as I am concerned. I work my rear off at home and I love it. How do you react to these kinds of people with tact?

Answer 1

Omg, I feel you!! My husband is in Iraq on a 15 month deployment and not due home till September. I had my son back in November, so like you, I'm the mom and dad right now. I have never had anybody tell me that I'm wasting my life and they damn well better not tell me I'm lazy. My pet peeve is lazy people, so I'm far from it.

I do not miss working at all, but I do miss my co-workers. I've worked in 2 daycares and I don't want strangers raising my son. Daycare is too much and you miss out on all the milestones with them in there all day long.

I enjoy every minute being with my son and watching him reach milestones. It just makes me sad to know that my husband is missing all of it. Thank got for cell phone camcorders! I'm perfectly happy waking up every morning between 5-5:30am to start my day. Two thumbs up for coffee!

I love being a mom and a housewife. I love cooking and cleaning. Yes...I said it, I love cleaning. I made up a cleaning schedule that's on my fridge. With a baby who's starting to crawl around, I have to keep the place in top notch. We go to a play group every Friday morning which allows me to interract with people my age lol. I have no family around, so it's just the support of the wives I know. I wouldn't change it for anything!

I may not earn an income of money, but I'll take an income of unconditional love from my son everyday! He's my life.

Answer 2

I hear ya! I have a 5 year old and have been home since before he was born. It has taken a while to accept that some will just not ever get why we choose to dedicate our lives to our children and husband. I used to get offended when my sisters would ask me why I would want to stay home when I could be out "enjoying" my life. Given that none of them have any stability in their lives and that affects their children, they stopped when I told them, "This is my choice, it's what's best for my family and it's really none of your business!" I'm fortunate enough that my husband makes a great salary (though we are far from rich) that I don't have to work outside the home. So I say that too, sometimes. "I don't have to work." Just leave it at that. Remember, some of it's rooted in jealousy (some want to stay home but just can't afford it), some think it's 'normal' to put their kids in day care while they work to keep up with the Joneses and well, some are so career driven, they can't accept that anyone would take a hit to their career by staying home. To each his own, I guess but you're right - leave us alone!

As far as being home with a child and doing all that entails, you just have to look at the bigger picture - realize that the dividends for your family will be realized way later. And if someone implies that you're lazy because you stay home: Don't worry about being tactful or polite. You tell them what you do all day and don't be afraid to tell them how ignorant they are! Screw them! Most moms (working and SAHMs) work their butts off and NO ONE has a right to tell you what you should and shouldn't do! I hope you find other SAHMs who you can commiserate with. It really helps!

Answer 3

No your not the only one who feels this way. I'm also a housewife and when I have children will be a stay at home mom. I often find it funny how some women think that being a mother isn't a real job. That is just stupid. Being a stay at home mom is a full time job and is more rewarding. My husband and I are poor because he studies and his government pays him a monthly salary. He doesn't work but we manage to survive. I'm making money from being an author and will be getting my first check towards the end of August 2007.

Answer 4

don't bother. you know that you are satisfied and the real satisfaction comes from loving what youa re doing. A lot of people really are pretty dumb. I am actually very pleased that I never made a large amount of money and had our lifestyle depend on my income so that I have the choice whether to work or not. It would be great if I could get paid more when I do work but, I know I cna't have it both ways and this way is far better. The golden handcuffs are very hard to remove and kids grow up very very fast. Don't bother at all with tactless people. Just know that you are doing the right thing for you.

Answer 5

I have been a working Mom and now I am a SAHM. It is each family's decision on what is best for your family. No one should butt into your life and tell you are lazy for staying home with your children. I know when I was working I did not do near as much work when I was at "work" than I did at home. I think some times working mother's feel bad that they can not be home with their children so they take it out on the ones that are able to. Do not let people judge your life. As long as you are happy it is no one else's business. Just keep doing what makes you and your family happy

Answer 6

I COMPLETLY understand what you are saying. I have five kids and I have always stayed at home with them. My husband even tells me that I am lazy because I refuse to get a job until they are all in school and then I will only work until they get out of school during the day.
This is the way I see it, If having a little less money makes me a "lazy" person then I can handle them saying I am. My kids need me there with them and I will be till they dont need me anymore.
What I tell people is to come to my house and watch me for a intire day and see just how much I do work.
Raising kids in the hardest work there is and the most important work too. If more people stayed at home and raised there kids rather than sticking them in a daycare we would have more respectable kids. Spending time with my kids and watching them grow is much more important to me than if someone thinks I am lazy!

Answer 7

I guess it depends on 2 factors. One is how much do these people make these comments and implications? Second is, how much does this really bother and or affect you (it appears that it DOES bother you)? Those two questions should determine how you address the situation, because you should know by now that some people are set in their beliefs, and you will most likely not change their minds. Rather than waste time and energy battling them, you should first assess if it is worth your energy trying to 'convince' them, as opposed to simply ignoing them. As for tact, that is your call if it is necessary, as in some cases, a lack of tact sends a clear message that you may want to send.

Answer 8

No you are not alone! I am a "full time mom" with 3 kids and people are constantly making me feel like I need to be "bringing something to the table" but I feel that the care I provide by being at home with my kids is well worth not having the extra money. I mean it would be great to have extra money to go on trips and "spoil" ourselves, but we are making it. I often have people telling me about different job oppurtunities and I usually just smile and say I'm not interested,and if they persist I just keep repeating myself, I don't feel that I should have to explain myself, and neither should you. You are only doing what you feel is right for your children. while there are pluses to you working (outside of the home), there are also many benefits to you staying at home.

Answer 9

Well, when someone says something that rude to me, I usually have a hard time responding with tact. I stay at home with my four children and yes, sometimes I feel like I am under seige. I feel like I will literally pull my hair our and surrender to madness. But like you said, the price is too high to go back to work. I feel my children need me at home and deserve to be with their mother during their formative years. As far as being someone implying you are wasting your life or being lazy....do these people have children? do they have any IDEA how demanding and hard it is being a SAHM? You don't get time off, you don't get bonuses....it's a sometimes thankless, smelly, exhausting neverending job! Some people don't have a clue. Like I said, I pretty much speak my mind when I get commentsa like that (which is seldom).

Answer 10

well i have no tact. i'm a single mother that works well over full time. a friend of mine is a stay at home mom (cuz she was smart enought to stay married :P). at a recent flight function (her husbands air force) a lady there kept putting her down for her decision to stay at home. ( my friend does stamping up to earn some income). the lady kept bragging that she was making x amount of dollars now that she has a degree and works as a counslour. she was really putting my friend down, flaunting her new car and her new clothes, that sort of thing. so i told the *****, "honey, i make twice what you make and all i have is a high school diploma. have fun paying off those students loans. neither one of us are barely paying our bills and we're both happy." that shut her up.

basically its what makes you happy. a happy mommy will have happy kids. whether you work outside the home, or stay with your kids. so long as your bills are being paid and your children have enough to eat is all that matters.