have you ever had to cut friendship with someone becuse of their poor mental health effecting you?

Question

i have some mental health problems and one of my friend does as well but it is getting to the stage where she is phoning me in the middle of the night and when i dont answer she swears at me by text this upses me and i feel it is making me more poorly

should i cat my fiendship with her

i have helped as much as i can

when is the right time to say i have to think of my own health first

i do still like her but i cant handle this any more

thank you


xxx


vici

Answer 1

If the continued friendship is hurting you, then you need to cut it NOW.

And just tell her straight out..."Your problems are too much for me to deal with. I have to cut all ties with you, because trying to deal with your problems is making ME more ill. Please don't call me any more." And then if she continues to call just refuse to pick up. When she texts, just delete the messages without reading them.

HER problems ARE NOT yours. You tried to help. And now she is turning into some sort of stalker and she deserves to be treated as such. You can even tell her so.

But DON'T let her drag you down any further. You have EVERY RIGHT to protect yourself!!

Answer 2

If helping somebody else is having a negative effect on your own mental health then it is DEFINITELY time to cool things down between her. She needs to find a therapist who is not involved in her life at all.
You don't necessarily need to stop being friends, but explain to her how you feel and that you need a little space to deal with your own issues. The thing is you can't help anyone if you are messed up (no offence) yourself. Let her know you care but that you can't help with this any further. Perhaps you could search for a therapist together.

While it sucks to jeapordize friendships, you have to remember where friendship ends and codependence begins. And it sounds like you're there. So step back, nd remember to look after yourself. I've always been the one to put others first and ignore my own problems and it is unhealthy. I had to set boundaries, and it helped a lot.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do about your friend.
xxCara

Answer 3

I have depression and some people have dumped me as a friend. I didn't call people in the middle of the night, but I used to be kind of annoying and had a very negative attitude, especially when I was young.

I had friends who were pretty crazy who would leave bizarre phone messages and stuff like that.

I had one friend I was in a band with, he started to get really annoying and it was making me anxious. But I didn't have to cut it off, he did it himself.

The only time I ever dumped somebody else was a girl who I took to the bank to cash a check for her. She asked me to do it again, and I said "why don't you get a bank account? It's not that hard to do." She wasn't my girlfriend, I felt like she was taking advantage of me. That was a long time ago.

Answer 4

You have every right to protect your health by standing up to your friend NOW. Be very direct and tell her that her calls disturb your rest, and the nasty texts from her are upsetting you. You don't have to end your friendship with her, but you do have a right and obligation to tell her to stop her behavior. Tell her to call a crisis line instead, as it is their job (their profession, they get paid for it) to help her. They also have more resources and are awake at all hours of the day and night.

Answer 5

The more extreme the extent of your friend's pleading becomes the more she depends on you to fulfill her needs. It's not fair, but there are certain burdens every person is required to carry at some point in his/her life. Successfully carrying that burden to the top and releasing it after completing your duties will bring the greatest rewards. Happiness doesn't come cheap. Your friend calls you in the middle of the night because you're the only one who will listen in the middle of the night. She curses at you because she needs you. Find her professional help, but DO NOT abandon her. You're her shoulder to lean on.

Answer 6

I've had endless toxic frienships and eventually ended up cutting them all because of the sheer amount of crap, stress, unloading and using me that i have endured for many years due to my nice nature and now i am the one with the stress and angst so i have learned a valuable and costly lesson.

So yeah! time to maybe limit your availability a little and keep the sanity...

Thanks...very happy and very solo.

Answer 7

I would say end the friendship.

I can't stand to be around people who bring me down, or depress me!! Its just not good for you!

Put YOUR mental health first [:

Answer 8

Often!!! LOL