i woke up today morning, and my dad asked me for black construction paper, i was half asleep but i got up and showed him all the paper i had. he got mad and said he wanted hard paper, not the soft junk. i insisted that i didn't have any- i used to but i was dead sure it was over. he insisted i open my art drawer and look i did, with him standing over me. didn't find any. he called me a liar and said i was hiding it and didn't trust me. so he went through my room opening all the cupboards and drawers- which included some of my personal stuff (like tampons, etc) i kept asking him to stop but he wouldn't.
later when i told him i didn't like the fact that he went through my things, i said there were some boundries i'd like to keep. (before we had this fight about no locking doors in the house) so i said that since i had stopped locking my door, i would really appreciate that he respect me and my space. he told me it was his hosue and he had his rules and he could do ... cont.
2007-07-21 20:35:48 · 15 answers · asked by XelchC 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
could do whatever the $%^& he felt like.
by this point i really had no energy to fight so i left the house to go workout.
what do you think i should do?
because i understand that he is the parent and has authority, but at the same time, there are some things that are personal. im not hiding anything, just i wouldn't want people to be able to see everything personal... you know? ahh well whatever i'm so tired at this point i really don't feel up to doing anything.
2007-07-21 20:38:20 · update #1
shoot and now he says he's taking away my flashdrive and plug point adapter. and i live in a place where you need adapters for any electrical appliance to work.
aw man i swear i didn't have any paper. f*** i was making a movie, and now i can't work on it without the electricity.
i'm so helpless, i really don't know what to do. i just feel like giving up
2007-07-21 20:42:29 · update #2
he said he used to trust me and now he doesn't.
sh*t but i don't know why. it's not me, i don't know what's wrong with me... i'm not being mean or ignoring him as he says its just sometimes i fell like i don't have the strength to carry on even the simplest things like carrying on a conversation, and i don't know what to do.
f***
2007-07-21 20:44:48 · update #3
my mom fully supports my dad.
she's pissed at me too.
apparently i made her cry
i don't see what the deal is like you said it's friggin paper.
i don't know man it's ****** up. maybe i did something that i didn't know or maybe it was my fault the way i spoke to them. aw f*** i just want to get out of here.
2007-07-21 20:59:04 · update #4
Usually I would be on the parents side of this argument but what your dad did was seriously messed up. If you said that you didn't have any paper then that should have been the end of it. It's not like you would have any reason to lie about it it's friggin construction paper not only was that wrong but looking thru your personal stuff unless he had reason to believe that you were on drugs sexually active or something else like that there is no reason he should look thru your stuff like that. Is your mom still in your life you need to get together with your family and seriously talk this out because that is just not rights.
2007-07-21 20:50:09 · answer #1 · answered by nobody 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When your mother is calmer, sit down with her and ask her what the big deal was about the black paper. Tell her you are being punished for something that seemed trivial. If she can explain how it was not trivial, then listen really carefully to exactly what she has to say.
Think about what she says. The main way people communicate reasons is by using words - and they way to discuss reasons is with words. At this point, that is the best thing you can use to discuss what is going on.
A parent may think that they really DO have the right to go through every thing - especially if they suspect a kid is using drugs. If there is anything about you that suggests you use drugs, then your parents may be frantic, thinking you have some stashed somewhere. Drugs are a serious problem, no doubt about it.
If you truly don't have any use for drugs and you don't do drugs at all, you should address the drugs issue with your mom when you are talking to her. She may or may not believe what you say but that might be the issue here.
2007-07-26 20:13:05 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! That's a bit . . . uh . . . creepy. Your dad has some control issues, it seems. [Can you say "power trip"?] I mean, construction paper is not a valid reason to start a family feud in my opinion. It also seems a bit perverted of him to go through your personal items. I'm the same way; I'm not hiding anything, but when it comes to pads and stuff, I don't like my dad to see them in my bathroom closet so I hide the package underneath an upside-down bucket thing that was in the closet. My parents and I don't have many arguments over privacy and we do not confront one another about stuff like that. To be honest though, my parents are so busy with their own lives they barely notice me. I've raised myself in my dad's house since I was a toddler, so privacy came with the territory, I guess.
Hope this helps and that things get resolved! ;-)
2007-07-21 21:51:23 · answer #3 · answered by MW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents should definitely understand boundaries. My mom will stand over me while I'm on the computer on AIM. I know you are frustrated and I understand how you feel. Try talking to him calmly (I know that you probably already are) and do everything in your power to keep from getting upset with him. Tell him that you need your own space, just like he does. Explain to him how you feel about him not trusting you. Tell him that you aren't doing anything that you don't want him to know about and that you are old enough to know what is right and whats wrong. Don't say that you can look after yourself or something along those lines because he will feel unnecessary. Tell him that you know he wants you to be his little girl but that you have grown and matured and understand rules and will follow them. Try to convince him that you are smart with what you do and that you need your own space. Don't yell with him. Raising your voice won't make him listen. Staying calm and controlled will help him to realize your maturity.
2007-07-21 22:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by Dani 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. You definitely deserve your space and privacy. You are not asking much. What you are asking is nothing out of ordinary. But I don't know how you can change the situation though. When you are under your parents care, they really do hold power over you. Can you talk to your mom or other family member about it? I assume you are teenager and yes I understand there are things you don't want (specially) your dad to see. Talk to some female family member, they should be able to understand and help you.
2007-07-21 20:57:05 · answer #5 · answered by miuchan_miu 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is always two sides to every story!
I personally feel like you are stretching the truth and adding information that isn't really there so that the story sounds better!
Are You?
Surely your parents aren't the mongrels your making them out to be, maybe your attitude has changed recently and you haven't realized because, well, you ARE a teenager, we've all been one and we all know the risks involved with these years!
Ask your Mum and Dad if you can all sit down together and talk about all this with NO arguing!
The means you listen to what they've got to say with no attitude towards them and they listen to what you've got to say!!!
Good Luck!
2007-07-21 21:48:40 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your dad has become paranoid about something and there is little that you can do about it for the moment.
If you cannot persuade him to respect your privacy, give it up until you can move into your own place.
Keep the real personal stuff in your head--the one place that belongs to no one but you.
2007-07-29 16:44:14 · answer #7 · answered by Starte Christ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how old you are, I would focus on school, graduate and get out of there. Go to college and get your degree. You did right by not disrespecting them. They are your parents. It is their house and it's their rules. Just take everything with a grain of salt until ou can fin for yourself. Okay? Take care. -Good luck.
2007-07-28 09:58:34 · answer #8 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sara, niot all parents are prim and proper. some over do it. have you ever read the book called "the child called it"? things do happen in real life. but anyway i aM Curious why the dad wanted construction paper for?
2007-07-28 22:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is something seriously wrong there; I think something moe was wrong than just needing hard back paper. And yes, you should have your privacy unless he has a real reasonto check on you (like a reason to suspect drug use).
2007-07-21 21:04:29 · answer #10 · answered by Amy W 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋