My boyfriend suffers from an extreme form of social anxiety. He avoids social situations at all costs and has very few people he feels comfortable with. I thought he was finally comfortable with me until he told me last night he wasn't.
Last night he broke up with me, saying that he's been trying so long but he can't help but becoming so anxious every time he sees me. He said he's tried long enough and can't do it anymore. He was crying so much, it was almost unbearable to see him like that. It's clear that this is hurting him and he doesn't want this to control his life. I tried to explain to him that this doesn't have to run his life, but he says he can't work it out right now.
He wants us to remain talking, and I'm trying for him-even if it is heart-wrenching for me. He is only anxious when we see each other in person; he's just fine through texts, emails, and IM sessions.
He doesn't have health insurance and can't afford a doctor. Should I stay or let him do this on his own?
2007-07-21 20:24:51 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
If you really love this person you will stick with him, learn all you can about the disorder, and encourage him to seek appropriate treatment. Zoloft worked wonders on my social anxiety disorder
2007-07-21 20:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by ஜSnazzlefrazzஜ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am wondering why you even need to ask the question.
You don't need to rescue him. You can't make him functional. You can't be superwoman. It is ok to love and let go.
You don't need to live a life of heart -wrenching.
Right now you have the choice. A long term relationship might destroy who you are.
There should be a county mental health facility that can give him free help and medication.
If you love him you can point him in a direction. And you can be strong enough to love yourself & be with someone who builds you up more than breaks you down.
Once you stop IM and seeing each other....he will find someone to step in where you left off.
If he says lets break up. Then do it. Why would you stay with anyone who wants to break up. Once you are away from it, you will know how much the relationship has cost you.
2007-07-21 22:30:08 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in a similar situation and I hope to high heaven you don't listen to these people who are calling this anxiety imaginary or selfish and him a nutcase or whatnot, because that's the ignorance speaking and the just need to disappear from this place.
Anyway, I can see you do indeed care about him. But as he was the one to call it off, I think he needs to go out on his own for a little bit. But the whole time, stay with him! Be his friend, talk to him, and help him through it! If you just pack up and abandon him, he could be seriously hurt... you can be friends while he works on these things. Then as he works towards helping himself perhaps you can rekindle the relationship. In any case, you'll each have a friendship. Make sure you're there for him, even though it is difficult...
He sounds a lot like me. It was difficult when my gf broke up with me, but it would have been so much easier if she had stuck around to at least act like a friend... sometimes people like us need someone to talk to, whether it be graphic-based or not.
2007-07-22 12:19:54 · answer #3 · answered by redgunnerdevil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anxiety can be a socially crushing disorder. There are several medications he can take for it, buspirone is a prescribed medication that helped me. Also it could be a lack of vitamin B, supplements or plenty of fruits could help. Also another herb known as kava root may be able to help. Meditation and less stress can help to relieve anxiety. Some drugs and environmental stresses can increase anxiety. Talking with him can help if you feel the relationship is worth it then tell him that know matter what's on his mind your relationship can't get worse than what it going to. Tell him to just let it all go.
2007-07-21 20:31:32 · answer #4 · answered by dg94561 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Encourage him to go to a free clinic. Look in the phone book and start calling to find agencies that will direct you to resources that will help.
Paxil is an anti-depressant and excellent for social anxiety disorder in adulta over 18. Other anti-depressants are available, also, and each person will respond better to one than to others (in controlling the social anxiety).
After he gets help, then you will be able to "reach" more of his personality because he won't have so much social anxiety that it will keep him from living his life. Then decide whether you will go or stay.
If he won't help himself, or refuses to try a treatment, I would walk away...fast.
2007-07-21 20:38:44 · answer #5 · answered by Autumn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are free clinics all over the place if he desired to get help for his condition.
Social anxiety is horrible and quite debilitating. I have a mild case, and it can be crippling at times, so if he's severe then my heart goes out to him.
This is a disabling condition, that is probably hampering his career as well as his social life. So he needs to get help right away.
Research clinics for him and make an appointment to take him there. Don't make him feel bad, just express your concern to help with no strings attached, as a friend only.
He can't be in a relationship with you until he's able to get his condition under control. It's not fair for either of you.
2007-07-21 20:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway
Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?
2016-05-17 06:36:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Social Anxiety And Shyness Cure : http://tinyurl.com/EqyzBgDFu7
2015-09-25 05:25:00 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means help him. Be there for him, support him.
See if there is any help in your area for indigent care, that way he can see a physician and get on some great medications to take away his anxiety.
Look up anxiety and panic attacks on the web, and see what they recommend for YOU to do to help him.
2007-07-21 20:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG whatever country do you live in? Are you serious that you have to pay for a doctor and cant get medical care without insurance - how do poor people manage in your country? If he's desperate surely he can take himself to casualty or the emergency room , of whatever you call it, and make them sort it out? I cannot believe you have no emergency provision for mentally ill people. There must be something - have you asked?
2007-07-21 21:18:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋