i've had a boyfriend for 6 years. we recently broke up. he is seeing another already. this past week, he has been calling me everyday 2 to 4 times a day. i dont want to pick up because, i dont want to hurt anymore. why speak, if he has another? right? anyways, he lefted me a mgs, saying that he is "in trouble".. what is that? i want to move on!
2007-07-21 18:45:42 · 18 answers · asked by jenny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It tells me that in his mind that he "screwed up" by breaking up with you. He feels very guilty. You are doing the right thing and move on! That is the only way your wound will close. If you talk to him and the wound will open. I hope this helps.
2007-07-21 18:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, let me get this straight....you guys started dating at age 16, right? No wonder he's taking "baby steps"! He's only ever dated YOU and he's wondering what he's missed out on which is only natural. Listen honey, I don't care how old he was when you first started dating, 6 years is more than long enough to know whether or not you see a real future, marriage, etc w/ a person. I completely understand why he wouldn't want to discuss that or start planning a wedding right now. He's only 22 for goodness sake! He hasn't even lived or seen much of the world I'm guessing! And you probably haven't either. Stop making your life about HIM and what he wants or doesn't want. Go out and make a fascinating, adventurous life for yourself and get some experiences under your belt before you even THINK of getting married!!! It sounds like the writing is on the wall for you 2 and you just need to admit it. You both need to LIVE more of life, experience other people, grow in your education and careers. Now is the time to do that. If it's meant to be, then perhaps years later, down the line, you will come back together.
2016-05-20 06:37:44 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Source:http://myspace.com/creaturemermaid
2007-07-21 19:41:47 · answer #3 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 years is a lot of time to walk away from. At the same time if you don't want to be hurt anymore, you must make a decision. That is a long time to turn your bank on and you did not state why he did that so I could not say for sure what I think I would do in the same situation.
For myself, I think of the past and wonder what would happen if it wasn't so much the past. I want at times what I had before and still do. From your information, I cannot help you because I have similar feelings as well. Good luck to you.
2007-07-21 18:52:57 · answer #4 · answered by Boomer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't u just answer his call and find out what he wants. You want to know... This is why u r asking. You have a lot of history together and you would like him to be there for you if it was the other way around. No, you don't owe him, so if you don't want just don't help. I don't know why you broke up, but guys sometimes try to handle their loss with starting dating right away. Most of the time it doesn't even work for them either, but this is how it goes. Maybe he misses you, after 6 years there are a lot of things to miss. Find out what he wants and if really truly don't want to get involved just let him know.
2007-07-22 07:43:45 · answer #5 · answered by snoop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI there... I don't know the specifics of your break-up but you were together for a long time and you know what is best for you! Since you want to move on, you can't risk getting emotionally sucked back into the roller coaster you can be on by sacrificing yourself for him, no matter what his "trouble" is. I would call him when you know he won't be home and leave him a message to please respect your space as you are no longer together. If he can't respect that, then he is being selfish by expecting you to be there for him. I went thru this same thing with my ex-husband that even for several years after our divorce, he still treated my like I was his wife until I stood up for me and put my foot down. Now I am remarried to the best man in the world! Good luck, heal your emotions by having time for you and not him, and move on like your gut is telling you. Best to you and be strong... it isn't easy but it does get easier day by day... trust me, I've been there on this one.
2007-07-21 18:53:33 · answer #6 · answered by Dragonfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant lie, The only way this is going to get better is if you
talk to him.I know you dont want to but he will only
go away if you tell him too. Besides if hes really
in some kind of trouble he can get help
from his new girl.
2007-07-21 18:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably calling you just to see if you have found someone new, too. If you really want to move on get a new number so he can't call you anymore.
2007-07-21 18:50:46 · answer #8 · answered by AP 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2 points
2007-07-21 18:50:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He could just be messing with you but at the same time mabye he is in trouble. shouldnt you be there in support for him unless he cheated on you or somthing like taht then he's an @$$ but be carefull let him know wehre you stand but mabye he is in trouble is he the person who cries wolf or not ?
2007-07-21 18:54:30 · answer #10 · answered by asdfghjkl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋