It has been a rocky one year with him. I adore him but can't handle sitting here now and realizing that he is not calling me tonight because he slipped again. I am sad, worried, trying to detach in a loving way but can't seem to stop to worry if he is ok. How can you really let go of someone when they are in such deep ****. I feel sick to my stomach when I see someone I love is dying in front of my eyes and there is nothing I can do. He is 45 and has been on and off cocainne for most of his life. Is this the way things will be for him. He seems sad and scared and can not fight his sobriety. He is trying. He stayed sober last month for 40 days but boom again. Should I just turn my back on him or should I hug him through this never ending suffering?
2007-07-21 18:11:22 · 5 answers · asked by Laura 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Ask yourself if this relationship is typical for you - being the caretaker and/or involved with someone who's emotionally unavailable - if it is, recognize that this is your willing role in a dysfunctional relationship that you can't possibly 'fix.' I counseled in SA for almost 10 years and two things are fer sure - one: the addict has to sincerely want sobriety and two: they have to 'hit their bottom' first. You are trying to save him which is preventing him from hitting his bottom - you can't save him from himself - only he can. Good luck ~
2007-07-21 18:31:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him go. You've tried your best to be supportive and it hasn't worked. And it won't work. If he's been doing it his whole life and is now 45 years old, the chances of him quitting for good are practically non-existent. I know it sounds harsh, and you sound like a very compassionate person, but the best thing to do now is to leave him. You need to maintain your own sanity and this is the only way to do it.
2007-07-22 01:20:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are support groups out there for people who are in the same situation, contact and AA group or NA (narcotics anonymous) and find a group that deals with spouses and family members of addicts. You can and will learn how to deal with it, or learn taht sometimes you just have to let it go
2007-07-22 01:21:01 · answer #3 · answered by Michael H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As harsh as it might sound,
he needs to face a reality here.
It's you or the drug.
Short of rehab, he is not going to be able to get off and stay off.
So, tell him, then
Distance yourself until he can prove he has gone through rehab and has stayed off for months of time.
Holding his hand while he is still using, is not helping him quit.
2007-07-22 01:31:10 · answer #4 · answered by Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call the intervention people that have the show on A&E.
2007-07-22 01:15:29 · answer #5 · answered by ascloud@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋