2007-07-21 18:10:30 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
he is very spoiled, and when I turned 16 I got a job, when my sister turned 15 she got a job, and now my bro is 16 and my mother tells me that he is not ready yep, however he wants a job! Why would someone say this???????
2007-07-21 18:14:08 · update #1
hmmm... they dont...
I'm the youngest in my family, and let me tell you... From about the age 9 until now I've never been good enough for my mom because I dropped outta dance lessons and my sister stayed in them... Because I got a detention at school and my sister never did... Because I was fat and she wasnt, when I was actually extremely underweight... Because they didnt put me in advanced classes, but they put my sister in them... Because I got caught drinking and my sister never drank... Because I smoked a bit of pot and my sister never did... Because I wouldnt eat and my sister would... Because I started smoking and she never would do that...
My school tested me for learning disabilities, and found out I'm dyslexic and ADHD... my parents took me to a extremely expensive and elite psychologist to have me tested and paid him money on the side to say the school whas mistaken because they wont accept the fact their daughter isnt as smart as her big sister...
Not to mention all the black eyes and split lips that I've gotten and she never did... All the time's I've been choked and kicked out of the house... All the times I've been told I ruined my moms life and she hates me... All the times I've sat freezing cold in a park at night because I wasnt allowed to come home...
The fact I had to get a job when I was 14 and my older sister had never had one because they just gave her money but I had to earn mine...
You might read this and go "oh well, you deserved it, I mean, you drank and smoked and she never did" but I didnt drink and smoke when I was 9 years old and being told I would never be good enough...
Maybe if what you're saying, that parents favor the youngest, was true, I wouldnt be 17 years old, working full time so I can afford to move out in just over a month... Maybe I wouldn't have first became anorexic when I was 9 years old (yeah, nine)... Maybe I wouldnt have started drinking at 11... Going out with a guy who would beat me unconcious at 13yrs old... Smoking at 13... Blazing at 13... Partying all night with older guys at 13 (they gave me possitive attention, unlike my parents)... Suicidal at 13... Anorexic again at 13... Doing hard drugs like meth at 14... Becoming an alcoholic at 15 and getting sexually assulted over and over and over... then barely managing to quit only to screw up one night and get raped when I was 16... And hey I lived to be 17 only to become a cocaine addict and now I'm 21 days clean and fighting the cravings every single day...
So next time you think the youngest is favored... Think again, it may be the case in your house, but it's not like that in every house...
And next time you think you have something to complain about, rething that... Someone always has it way worse, and you prolly have it pretty ****** easy...
2007-07-21 22:34:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be favoring so much as looking at the child's maturity and wondering how he can work for someone else when he can't find poptarts in the drawer.
My daughter first born could get herself dressed and out the door on time for the school bus in first grade.
My son (17) still misses the bus. Frequently. I made him get a job this summer because I wanted him to answer to someone other than me. I wanted him to get the concept of work and money. And I didn't want him on my hands all summer.
Does he have his learner's permit? No. Does he have his driver's license? No. Does he have internet access? No. There are some things a parent knows the "baby" of the family is just not ready for, so we hold them back a little. But not because we love them more. They just didn't keep up with the older kids.
TX mom
2007-07-21 18:25:16 · answer #2 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am the mother of 4 boys, ages 21 to 2 years. There is 12 years between my third and fourth son. My third son was the baby, and I am guilty of what you are talking about with him. I can see my mistake now, being that I am starting all over again with a new baby. I can tell you my reasoning at the time and maybe that will help.
I did not plan on having any more children at the time. He was the baby and I tended to cling to that. As a mother, nurturing and taking care of someone is part of my nature. I didn't want to lose that. This is the main reason for spoiling the him. I didn't realize it at the time, but it's hindsight.
I can see a difference in him as far as responsibilities go. He's less driven, expects things to be handed to him without working for them. I love him dearly and am striving to correct my mistake. As a result, you can bet I will not make the same mistake with my 2 year old!
Good luck, and try to remember, it's not that your parents love or care for you any less. I can promise you that.
2007-07-22 03:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by SKY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When parents realize that they are not going to have any more kids, they view the youngest child as their last opportunity to be parents, and they want the child to grow up as slowly as possible. Every new milestone that child reaches (which includes getting his first job) is one step closer to that child becoming independent and no longer needing to rely on his parents. That is a very tough and heart-breaking situation for any parent to face, and that is why they will always treat the youngest child as the baby of the family.
As a parent of four, I know I'm not looking forward to the day when my youngest leaves the house for college. Even though my wife and I are planning a 4-week luxury cruise for the following day! :-)
2007-07-21 19:19:54 · answer #4 · answered by PoisonDonut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that parents favor the youngest more than his or her older siblings. It is that he/she is considered the baby in the family and more attention was given to him/her while he/she was young. This attitude continued until the baby grew up with the parents forgetting that he is no longer a baby. The parents tend to be more protective of the youngest and I don't know why that is so. I am a parent myself and I did the same thing your parents did with your young sibling. No excuse for our behavior, you will understand this when you become a parent yourself.
2007-07-21 18:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by annabelle p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because your mother knows that once your younger brother is grown there will be no more of her children living at home.
Not all parents favor the last child born within their family. Some don't favor they youngest child at all.
2007-07-21 22:25:03 · answer #6 · answered by Tarlyng 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be for several reasons. Maybe their having a hard time letting go, or maybe he's just immature. A lot of times the younger sibling doesn't grow up as fast because everyone does stuff for them. My guess when you were younger you did alot for him too.
2007-07-25 11:19:58 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don`t ever think they don`t love you,.. they are just giving him his time now,... they figure that you are old enough to handle things better so you don`t get as much...and once you get a job some parents think you don't need much because you have your own money wrong..wrong..wrong..get them alone and have an adult-like talk and let them know how you feel......just try it....what could it hurt.......I`m a parent and i`m sorry.........
2007-07-21 18:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Goodnight. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all parents are like that. Some favor the oldest.
2007-07-21 23:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say so. I'm the oldest out of 3 and I get favored more then my brother and sister? Probably because I was their first joy into parenthood.
2007-07-21 18:17:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋