Is it possible for a guy to stay friends with a girl after they break up?

Question

We were going out for something like 10 months. He had a really hard life and got depressed easily so I always tried my hardest to make him feel better. He did nothing but compliment me for the longest time.

Then when I went home from college for the summer, we just talked online for a while and he said some things that were kind of hurtful. They wouldn't have been so bad if they came from someone else, but since he had been so incredibly sweet to me before, it really hurt. He was really stressed, and he was taking it out on me.

I don't think he would take it out on me like that if we were just friends because that's not the same sort of bond as a relationship, and we do have a lot in common. The thing is, though, I couldn't stay friends with a boyfriend I had who broke up with me, so would it be possible for him to stay friends with me after I break up with him? I know men have their pride and all.

Stephanie--

He wasn't exactly "mean" to me; he just did some things that I didn't think were right for a boyfriend, like refuse to stand up for me on a message board when I was being bashed, and shoved it in my face that he was right when I realized I was wrong and other stuff like that. Those sort of things wouldn't matter to me as much if he were my friend because I wouldn't be as serious as possibly wanting to spend the rest of my life with him and live with him.

Jaramir--

Thanks for the compliment. ^_^

Answer 1

It sounds like you are a pretty decent friend. If he is unwilling to remain friends with you, it will be his loss.

But yes you are right. We men have our pride. However, I can honestly say that I've remained friends with a few exes. It is not easy and takes a while until the healing is done. but it can be possible.

good luck. you need better. Someone who takes it out on you when you are a good friend is not someone you should consider sharing your life with. It may get worse so getting out now would be the smart thing to do.

Answer 2

Honestly, you're probably thinking about her 10x more than she is about you. Infact, she's probably not even thinking about you at all. (It's the harsh truth). With that said, don't do anything you'll regret in the long term, such as telling her you don't want to be her friend anymore. This does 3 things, 1) it makes you look needy 2) it makes you look bitter and 3) you lose a female friend. Female friends are invaluable. You learn a lot about girls by hanging out with them and who knows, you might meet some of her friends and develop a new crush. Depending on how good of friends you guys were, you might still want to hang out with her or if you don't, just don't call her for awhile. If you can't help but see her everyday (such as you guys work together or are in the same class together), just act as if nothing happened. My point is: There is no reason to burn any bridges.

Answer 3

But why would he be mean to you as a girlfriend but not as a friend??? That doesnt make sense to me....if a person cares about you they dont do things intentionally to hurt you friend or otherwise. He has issues that he needs to seek medical attention for...depression can be a serious and life effecting issue, but can be controlled with help...and not just the help of a friend who will listen...nor a friend that will tolerate and take his verbal abuse when ever he wants to hand it out. Thats wrong on all levels so dont get it twisted.
It is always possible to remain friends after a relationship ends...if both people want it and are mature enough to handle being "just friends".

Answer 4

dont tell him its 'breaking up'. tell him u want 2 step 2 a different relationship level, the friendship 1. maybe u can help him with his depression more as a friend?

hope that helps...
( :

Answer 5

Eventually, yes. Depends on how long it take him to get over you.

Answer 6

I think it's possible.

Answer 7

if he never had "feelings" for her to begin with