what are your experiences of despair and how did you find hope?

Question

im looking for positive here

Answer 1

Find what's wrong and fix it

Harder than it sounds as when people are in that situation they've usually got their heads buried in the sand

Answer 2

My experiences of despair are extensive and intense. Going into any detail here would just magnify the negativity you seem to be feeling.

Don't take this wrong, but I didn't find hope. Despair sees no hope, sometimes even believes hope is unattainable.

Hang in there - sleep on it tonight, and see how you feel in the morning. If you feel even a little better, it was worth the wait - the sleep gives you a short vacation from your despair.

Hope comes at first in small doses - if you won the lottery today, it wouldn't heal your despair. But if you found a $5 bill on the ground, it would give you a small lift - in a way, that's all you can handle right now.

One proactive thing you might try is a gratitude journal - every evening, as part of your routine of settling down and ending the day, write whatever you want to in your journal - but ALWAYS end it with a list of 5 things you're grateful for - maybe things that happened that day, maybe the smell of fresh-cut grass, whatever comes to mind - nothing's too big, nothing's too small. Are all your bodily limbs intact? Be grateful. Can you breathe without supplemental oxygen? Are your bills current? Do you have a roof over your head? Food to eat? Fresh water to drink? Air conditioning (assuming you're not in Australia, in which case you might be more thankful for heat right now) - eventually you'll find yourself noticing things during the day that you'll look forward to putting in your gratitude journal - and despair will gradually lose its grip on your mind.

Fear not - the light at the end of your tunnel is not the headlight of an oncoming train. :o)

Answer 3

I have been despairing for quite some time; dodgy relationship, stressful work environment, sick old cat, at the end of her life, leaking roof, after all the rain. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life. Here are some of my coping strategies:

1. Keep a journal to map your moods and events in your life - a lifesaver for me over a 10 year period.

2. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to something nice: A book, CD, clothes, chocolate, holiday, outing.

3. Regular exercise helps release the happy hormones

4. Confide in a good friend

5. Do a worthwhile job (I do) or volunteer to help someone less fortunate than yourself.

6. Spend time outdoors, even if it is raining because fresh air makes you feel less despairing..

Good luck. Hope all the replies are kind.

Answer 4

Keep going. Life is a journey. You do NOT know what is going to happen next. Narrow your focus. Don't try to look at everything at once. Take things day-by-day, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute (like young kids do). Focus on the present, the here-and-now, not on your memory-distorted version of the past or the unknown future. Enjoy the experience of now. Try to break up old habits that aren't helping you. (You surely know what they are.) Don't get stuck on one thing. Mix together little bits of enjoyment, being nice to other people, achieving something, small progress on one of your 'problems'. You could pretend to be someone else for a while, and just look at what's going on around you.

Where did I find hope? There's only one place to look for hope: inside myself. I'm still trying to follow my own advice. I can't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but there is a dim sort of glow (sometimes).

Think I'll stop here.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I've had a cheating husband and really terrible father; those two gave me years of trial and pain. The despair came after. One thing I've found that helps to calm is walking; see if you can find a pretty garden to walk to and sit in. I find hope in knowing that in five years this will all be behind me; realize that whatever has you down has already happened and you're still alive and kicking. There's always the chance to recreate your life, even if it's in small ways. Build yourself up from where you are now; learn from whatever it is and keep going. The only place to find hope is in yourself.

Answer 6

Well me old girl or young girl, im not here to takee urine but to hopefully make some sense of it all. I m 45 years young and due to my personatily have always indulged in too much of the good things in life youknow the class A drugs the fags and the booze, and believe me i have been at the bottom of the heap... I thought about suicide, but you have got to be extremely down for all that lark. So what did i do when
i had nothing, no-one, no dosh no roof no food
no mates no bugger all. I realised all i had was
myself and my sense of humour!!! I had to keep thinking that there is ALWAYS someone worse off than me. I had two legs two arms only one head which i kept all the dreams in . But i thought to myself "ear paul what could possibly drag me out of despair and give me a tiny little piece of hope to make all this **** worth while again" I didnt even think about the
"geezer upstairs" cos i was brought up an atheist and i know there aint no one up there anyway, or down there for that matter!! No my salvation was in mans best freind YES dogs.
True story, i was wandering around london not going anywary not doing anything not even
thinking wheg came across a stray dog who looked in a worse state than me, so we became
good mates and he listened to every single
word i said to him and i could tell he was telling me to carry on for both our sakes.
So after about 3-4 months of just wandering
around with my new mate george i decided
to seek help for us both and went to this council run help group thingy place.

Answer 7

When people are depressed they tend to focus on nothing around them that is possitive, and see only the negative things around them. Kind of like they have tunnel vision. Someone may wait and hold a door for them and tthey may say thank you as they were taught to do so but they would fail to truly see the good deed. You must not focus on all the bad that surrounds you. Sometimes that is very difficult. A trick that works for me is to laugh at the bad things. This is a somewhat difficult trick as you must be creative for it to actually work but I use it all the time.

To find hope you have to open your eyes and look for it.

Answer 8

Swimming helps you to cope. You relax and have to think about other things.
Also, ope can be found in the past and the future.
Think about how you used to be and how you want to be. Otherwise you just have to grow thicker skin, learn to ignore and get over things, it's hard but it can be done!

Good luck!

Answer 9

when i go totally off the rails i normally end up at the police station, then i get a mental health assessment, and end up in the local mental health hospital to get me sorted out again ,try it it works for me, but i warn you the cells are not very comfy for an overnight stay!