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I got engaged before two weeks. I am trying to understand my life partner before marriage. I need serious advices from married persons regarding things to discuss.

2007-07-21 16:32:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Weddings

13 answers

How are finances going to be handled? How do we feel about kids? How long to wait and how many to have. Do we need a pre-nup? What about work? Both working? Religion. How will holidays be handled, as far as in-laws go? Prepare a will! And make sure that you make each other your health care surrogate so that you can make medical decision for each other and it doesn't end up in court with the families should something happen (God forbid) and make sure you know what each other would want and make it a legal document.
Alot of people prepare for the wedding but not the marriage so good job.

2007-07-21 16:41:12 · answer #1 · answered by Kristy 4 · 1 0

Wow. looks such as you're coping with a actual "Bridezilla". regrettably, some brides view their wedding ceremony as a Broadway tutor, the place they're the celebrity, extremely than a marriage with their closest friends and family contributors. Weddings can each and every so often be annoying, and brides fairly, even even though it looks like she is unquestionably pushing the envelope and going too some distance together with her expectancies of you. You sound like a type and smart guy or woman however the friendship would not sound that close...you assert she has been condescending in the previous. i'm getting the sensation that this wedding ceremony is greater a production and he or she needs you to connect the "engagement club" so which you would be able to take part in her bridezilla materialism frenzy. properly, my suggestion is this: Ask your chum to lunch someplace, basically the two one among you to talk the situation. i could basically tell her that on an identical time as you want to help her as much as you're in a position, you have limits in the two persistence and funds, and if she isn't arranged to appreciate your limitations, she will have the capacity to would desire to discover yet another detrimental soul to boss around and run ragged. i would not get drawn into her drama, basically state your intentions, and if she is indignant, stroll away. If she's apologetic, then she would be waiting to cool down and your friendship could be saved...i would not anticipate that although. you're able to have saved your self a team of issues and a pile of money, and the only element lost would be a awful friendship in keeping with one-upmanship (she in basic terms feels stable approximately herself in the journey that your worse off than she) and materialism. you have too lots going so which you are able to annoy with human beings like that.

2016-10-22 07:55:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Thats the thing you should have discussed before getting engaged.

Talk about if you want kids, how you will raise them, sex is important, and money.

Find out what her goals are and see if they match yours. Some people want to be filthy rich, some people just want to sit on the porch and drink beer. Does she want to live in the country or does she want to live in the city? Is she going to work or is one of you going to be a stay at home spouse?

I've found that the wedding is a good indicator of how it will be later in the marriage. True personalities really start to come out under stress. If you can't compromise now you will have a very rocky road later.

2007-07-21 16:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 3 0

First if you do not attend a church and have a pastor then, you are really roughing it. Otherwise he could give you council. You discuss, Jobs, does he expect you to work till the babies start coming. Where do you intend to live, rent or purchase a house. Visit with the inlaws or live with them till your stable. How is housework going to be shared if you both work. Rotate the chores or each is assigned the duties for as long as they are performed? Dress, anything goes or respectable as nothing is now to be marketed. Most of all beliefs. Whose religion prevails? Yours, his or ours in which you find a totally different one to get from old beliefs. Keeping "holy" till your married. Sex before marriage is fornification. So if you cant hold your own now, how would you hold yourself later should you be seperated because of sickness, a job that takes him out of state temporarily. Thats why alot of people dont have control because they are too busy eating the cake before the party! Then once a temporary separation comes, they get weak and want to screw the first thing thats sympathic to their "lonelyness."
Who is going to cook. Somebody needs to learn, other than how to microwave a tv dinner. Learning how to budget your finances, setting aside savings for a rainy day or a major crisis. Talking is how you learn about a person. Life insurance is a must!

2007-07-21 16:50:02 · answer #4 · answered by agcgartner 6 · 0 0

You both should sit down and talk about what your expectations are over finances, children, family, religion, career, location and any other issues that you find relevant to you in this type of relationship. Maybe you should have a very extended engagement since you haven't had these discussions yet and you haven't known this person long. You need to see how this person handles themselves in life both in the good, bad and stressful moments and how you interact together in those types of situations.

2007-07-21 16:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0 0

i know someone that got married after 4days and they've been together 7yrs.

but if you don't feel that you know her questions won't really do the trick only time will.

Wait until you've been threw some things together. See how she reacts when ppl put you down or lie to you.

She really REALLY needs to meet your family and see your 'real' side where you don't brush your teeth first thing in the morning you bad driving skills your horrible spending habits ect... her reaction will tell you everything. Just be annoying!

2007-07-21 17:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by i love being a mommy! 4 · 0 0

I would talk to her about your wedding plans, a date, location and what things you both want on your wedding day. That is important but it is only one day, your marriage is forever. Marriage counseling is a great way to plan for your wedding. If you don't want to go to a counselor there are plenty of workbooks you can do together. I am getting married in September and I can not stress enough how much we got from it.

2007-07-21 17:47:29 · answer #7 · answered by lisadaisy165 3 · 0 0

Whatever questions you need to ask should be asked before you get engaged, that's how you know if you want to marry or not.

2007-07-21 16:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by dark bubble 7 · 1 0

Where do you plan on living, how many kids do you want, do you want kids, future investments, parenting styles, what type of lifestyle does the other expect to live, like, who will work, who will work after the kids, if kids come into the pictures. i'd also google that question just to see what comes up. those are the basics though.

2007-07-21 16:37:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Marriage is a huge step and part in a relationship. You have to know everything about your fiance before marrying her. You should know her morals, her future goals, what she likes and dislikes, children, religion...etc.....

2007-07-21 16:47:35 · answer #10 · answered by TJ 4 · 0 0

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