Fellow Christians, we know what God thinks about abortion. I have had my share in the past years ago. My 20 year old daughter is pregnant by someone she had a brief fling with. With all my teachings and advice she has still chosen her own path of life and is now in a situation where she is unsure of what decision to make. A part of me wants her to get an abortion because she is too young, and this will not be a helpful man in her life. I know that that is the devil putting those thoughts in my head, because God's word is the opposite of this type of thinking.Because of my pass sins, I feel so unworthy to even advise her, even though I have asked for forgiveness and I am saved.I am in my late 30's and have 2 very small children of my own to raise. I would help her of course, but I don't want to give her the impression that I will raise her child for her relieving her of her responsibilities. I left the decision up to her to make about keeping the baby or not.....do you agree or not?
2007-07-21 16:29:59 · 45 answers · asked by WHOISTHEPUPPETMASTER? 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Thank you for your responses. I have stated to her that I am against abortion. I think she is leaning more to having the baby and trying to raise it on her own. I love my daughter very much and I think this is a better decision. However, she is very naive and truly do not understand the magnitude of being a single parent.
won't be able to get the hair done, nails done all the time......won't be able to go out with friends all the time.She is very close to her Grangmother and I believe she will just dump the baby on her because she will allow it, where as I would insist she care for the baby herself. My mom(her grandma is 72) which is too old to be starting all over caring for an infant. I will not encourage her to have an abortion, but she would never give the baby up for adoption.....I know my daughter does not really understand how difficult her life will be and that is what bothers me.She thinks everyone will always be there to help her, that may not always be the case.
2007-07-21 18:03:07 · update #1
To "FOXTROT" below....I suggest strongly that you read the information on this site. You have harshly judged me as an imoral parent without knowing me, and that is not Godly at all. I was not present at the actual act of sex between them, so exactly how did I allow it to happen? Despite your critisizm, I have been a good parent. My daughter has never been to jail, never used drugs, bought her own car at 17 with money she worked for, she is a Nurse, and knows Jesus as Lord and Savior. It is HER that chose to commit this sin that has put her in this situation, which I know that God holds her responsible for her own actions....NOT ME....so please, read the site below so next time when a fellow Christian ask you for an answer to a dilemma you can advise in a more Godly fashion.........I will pray for you......God Bless you.
2007-07-22 03:34:32 · update #2
http://www.capalert.com/judgenot.htm
2007-07-22 03:34:50 · update #3
I agree with your decision but you have to remain firm in your decision to not raise her child for her no matter what mistakes she makes along the way. She choose to throw caution to the wind and now she is pregnant she has to take responsibility for he actions
2007-07-21 16:39:13 · answer #1 · answered by jayfierce 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all stop talking about your past sins. When you ask God to forgive you for something he does and that is thrown into the sea of forgetfulness. God forgives without attachments so when he forgives its gone. Secondly, no matter what you have done in life you are never unworthy of giving your daughter advice. FORGIVE YOURSELF AND MOVE ON!!!
As far as your daughter is concerned, you need to understand that this is a choice that she is going to have to make on her own. Mommy can't bail her out of this one. 20 is young to have a baby but she has to deal with the consequences of her actions one way or another. Personally, I would not encourage her to get an abortion. However, I do understand that as her mother you feel like you don't want your daughter to have children to young because you want her to live a little bit first but you can't force her one way or another. The best thing that you can do is be supportive of whatever choice she makes. Abortion is a big thing and it doesn't just go away after you abort the fetus. She will live with that for the rest of her life. I think you did the right thing by leaving it on her but be as supportive as you can :-)
I hope that you and family will be encouraged with the Holy Spirit through this difficult time and I pray that the two of you have strength. God Bless You!
p.s- tell her don't make a decision based on the guy's actions. if she has to be a single parent then so-be-it. she had a fling and a consequence that comes with that is that she may be a single parent !(sorry)
2007-07-21 17:07:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is old enough. She's 20. She needs to give this baby to a loving family if she's unable to raise it.
Abortion is always wrong. Babies are never a mistake.
As for your own guilt: that's the devil. God remembers it no more. When the devil reminds you of your past - remind him of his future. You are exactly who should tell your daughter about abortion. You have suffered greatly because of it and she should know how bad it's hurt for so many years. It's NOT over in a few minutes.
Give your hurts to God. You are forgiven. Do not have any part in helping her "terminate the pregnancy".
Help her find the best way for this baby to have a healthy, full life. It ALREADY has life!
My prayers are with you!
2007-07-21 18:06:23 · answer #3 · answered by tambos67camaro 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her not to have the abortion. Be strong in your faith, and do not let the devil make you feel like you are unworthy. It does not matter if the Daddy is a jerk, Mommy is young, and Grandma doesn't have any money.....Jesus will work it out!
Be strong, she is your daughter and you are her parent. Don't let her spend the rest of her life feeling guilty about the death of her unborn child.
My baby daughter was born four months ago. It really struck me how precious life is when I first saw her move on the ultrasound. Now that she is outside of the womb, I couldn't imagine not having her. Don't let your daughter make this mistake!
Even if she cannot or is unwilling to take care of her baby, there are thousands of American's waiting to adopt. God bless you and stay strong in your faith.
2007-07-21 16:44:46 · answer #4 · answered by da_r71 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The Gay thing is a great place to start my answer. Homosexuality is a sin period. Nothing more nothing less. So is pride. So is stealing. So is being disrespectful to your parents. So is putting anything in your life above GOD. Well now I am not a homosexual but I sure am guilty of the others and more. But if a pastor shows up at my house do I run and hide? no. Why? Because nobody seems to want to linch me for my sins. My brothers and sisters say "Its ok to disrespect your mother" " We all do it. Just try to stop and ask GOD for help" But that Homo over there will burn in hell! This is the problem. We as Christians project our homophobia onto people and demonize them. If you want to get right down to brass tacks the unbelievers concern me much more then any homosexual because they can get to a point where the Holy Spirit doesnt call them anymore. That is truly scarey. I am a sinner saved by grace. Get the word out to stop demonizing homosexuals. A prideful look is an abomination too. May GOD richly bless you and your family.
2016-05-20 02:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is a great website: http://www.heartlink.org/ It's for an organization called Option Ultrasound. I would really recommend that you and your daughter make an appointment to have an ultrasound done. It will play a big role in your daughter's decision and also might give you a new outlook.
Don't be afraid to offer advice!
Focus not on your past sins, if you have asked forgiveness for them, then God remembers them no more.(1 John 1:9) They are on the bottom of the ocean floor. Instead focus on God's grace. She needs you now. Ask God to give you wisdom to share with her from His Word. He won't disappoint! I will be praying for you and your daughter, and for the precious little one.
2007-07-21 16:57:48 · answer #6 · answered by Just Sarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since she is an adult, she will have to make her own decision, right or wrong. Why isn't the option of giving it up for adoption being considered? Could be a win-win situation. She will realize that going through a pregnancy and birth isn't fun and games, and will think twice about getting into that situation again, and perhaps a couple who cannot have children, would get a baby that they can raise in a stable home.
2007-07-21 16:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by BrotherMichael 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If you have asked God for forgiveness genuinely because you believe Jesus is the only Son of God, then you are forgiven and no longer have any reason to feel unworthy, because His blood has washed you clean.
Your daughter is an adult by age. Not knowing your relationship with her, I don't think I can tell you if you handled this correctly. Does your daughter know what God says about abortion? And what about adoption?
2007-07-21 16:38:04 · answer #8 · answered by betyoucantfindme 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. Allow me to explain.
I have personal experience with this situation, and as such, I do have an opinion. I know how difficult it is to deal with such a difficult set of circumstances and emotions.
When I was 22, my girlfriend put herself in a terrible position by "seeing" another guy. She attended a party at his house and was "date raped". It was tragic, she was wrong for being in that situation, for cheating on me, etc. Obviously, he is scum.
In any event, the consequence for all that was a pregnancy. I stuck around and worked through the situation with her. The final decision was to "keep the baby". I have reared this child as my own, and love her with all my heart. She is a beautiful young woman now, extremely popular, smart, and a true joy in my life.
My life would be incomplete without her, and I am thankful for her each and every day.
In terms of your "past sins", take a look at the story of David and his son, Absalom. To keep it short, David failed to discipline his son because of his own "past sins". His son ended up dead.
My opinion is that you need to have influence in your daughter's decision and encourage her to do what is right. Once the decision is made to abort, you can never take that back and there are other options.
Perhaps you will be as lucky as I have been and you will enjoy this child for the rest of your life. Please feel free to reach out to me if I can be of any help.
2007-07-21 16:48:47 · answer #9 · answered by Schneiderman 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe abortion is a convenience- people want to sugarcoat it(and I'm not knocking anyone who has) She will regret it for the rest of her life I know several women who has had them. Plus, Her body may never be the same she may not be able to carry a baby in the future.
And if you allow her to do it it will be just as bad for you.
Or there is adoption...its always the ones that want kids badly that can't have them naturally. Maybe give a chance to someone else.
Trust God and if you do end up raising it then you know it will be in a good home.
2007-07-21 16:46:40 · answer #10 · answered by Bobbie 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you handled the situation as best as you can. Your daughter is 20 years old and has the right to make her own decisions, whether they be the right or the wrong decision.
I don't know the spiritual state of your daughter, but I would sit down with her and show her the scriptures about God knowing us from the moment of conception, about murder, and about being responsible for our own actions. She chose to sleep with a man who would not be there for her and the child. Be harsh with her. At 20 years old, there is no excuse for not knowing about birth control or self control. Perhaps you could find a support group of women that have had abortions in the past and have them talk to her about their feelings of depression, dispair, and guilt after having the abortion. Ultimately, the choice is your daughters and she will have to stand before God with that choice.
My concern is about you also. You seem to hold a lot of guilt for your past. Do you realize that you are a new creation in Christ? The old has passed away and God has made you knew. Do not remember the former things. Once you are saved, you are no longer condemned for your sins because you are forgiven. Satan likes to throw our mistakes back into our face and make us feel guilty about them. But, when God looks at you, he looks not at your sin, but instead at the Blood of Jesus. Your sins are no more. Take some time in the next few days to talk to God, ask Him again to forgive you for your sins, and then forgive yourself. Forgiveness does not mean that what you did in the past was right, it doesn't mean that everything will be perfect, but it does mean that you will not allow the choices you made to control you any more. Forgive yourself. It's the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life, but it will be the best thing you can ever do for yourself.
2007-07-21 16:42:23 · answer #11 · answered by shybusch 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋