OK, many people tell me that I'm too trusting & too nice & deserve to be taken advantage of for not knowing how to be assertive & saying NO. But when I do develop the balls to say NO & not trust people, they think I'm a paranoid schizophrenic & crazy for not trusting them.
But most people advise me to not trust ANYONE. & I'm not that clever enough to see through people & judge whether they're trusting or not. Is there a such thing as having the gift of discernment? If so, I don't have it.
& also, with my personal experience with schizophrenics, why is it that some of them (not all) take advantage of or scam you because for no reason, they think you're going to scam them.
I just wonder how I can become more assertive & say NO without feeling guilty about it.
The way I grew up in the foster family, when I said NO, my teeth almost got knocked out by my foster sisters & brothers & people @ school. So I'm afraid to say NO with fear of people hurting me physically.
2007-07-21 16:00:29 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Think of it as protecting yourself from becoming a doormat. Never let anyone walk all over you. Just say no. You'll feel guilty about it at first, but after awhile, you'll build up the immunity that everyone else has. People say no to you, right?
2007-07-21 16:07:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from...I have always been the "Go To Girl" Need a quarterly newsletter typed by next week? see me. Need somebody picked up on the opposite end of town in the next 10 minutes? See me. Need somebody to fill in at work so you can go to a concert tonite? See me. I was so concerned that if I said "no", that people would think I was a complete B****. What finally made me snap out of it was realizing that my family and my own emotional/physical/spiritual/mental well-being had to come first. In order for my daughter and husband to be able to count on me to be a good mother and wife, I have to say no to others on occasion. It was not easy at first, but it has gotten better. My advice is to be firm, but compassionate. For me it always helps to say "I understand you're in a bind, and I would love to help; but I can't because....." It's not ALWAYS saying no that will help you become more assertive, it's knowing when to say yes. It sounds corny, but take it one day at a time. Tell yourself that for the next 24 hours you will not let anybody take advantage of your time or good nature; and each day gets a little easier, I promise.
2007-07-21 23:18:03 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is easy to tell someone to say no. It is a hard thing to do. Protect yourself by not being around people unless you know they are friends. I cannot see through people either. I do not have the gift of discernment. I know people who do though.
2007-07-22 00:44:32 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, It only took me 50 years to learn how to say "No", Go with your gut, you will be wrong a lot,but that is living and learning
2007-07-21 23:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by cjid84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it is easier said than done. You just have to say "NO". Tell yourself that you are a worthwhile person, because you are.....and you have the option of saying "NO".
2007-07-21 23:07:42 · answer #5 · answered by dianne s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋