Brother problem?

Question

So my little brother is 12 and when he's around my parents or grandparents, or anyone that he wouldn't be immature in front of then he's standable. but when we're alone or with his friends he has a tendancy to call everyone stupid and retarded and ugly and he doesn't realize how much he is hurting others. this is just a mere reminder to you all that everyone has feelings and what you might say to someone else could do more harm then you expect

Answer 1

Fortunately I don't have a 12 year old brother, but I do have a 5 year old nephew and 4 year old niece and some of the things that come out of their mouths are pretty appalling.

I usually just ignore them or tell them you're behaving like a baby, they hate being called a baby!

Maybe you should tell your brother to start acting his age and just ignore anything that comes out of his mouth, otherwise if that doesn't help call him "stupid, retarded and ugly" and see how he likes it.

Otherwise there is always the nice approach in which you tell him exactly what you're feeling eg. "that what he is saying is hurtful" etc.

I'm sure that it is probably just a phase that he will grow out of in a few years.

Answer 2

It's a 12-year-old thing. They don't really mean what they say - they don't even think about what it means, they're just following the crowd. They do it to impress their friends. They think it makes them look more intelligent or mature or something, and besides that, they are getting away with something that parents and other adults don't tolerate, giving them a sense of independence. He'll probably get over it in a year or two. You may want to point out to him that it is not having the effect he's after, it just makes him come off as ignorant and "retarded". Don't count on it to work, though, especially when his friends are around.

A funny story: I teach 5th and 6th grades in a Catholic school. Our students are pretty naive. One 5th grade girl started telling everyone to f*** off. The principal took her into her office and asked her if she knew what the word meant. She didn't. When the principal told her what it meant, the girl was shocked and embarrassed. She never used the word again.

Answer 3

That sounds like real immaturity. Just tell him he is being a dork and calling people those names is not cool at all. You could also tell him that intelligent people don't need to use names like that to describe people. If he doesn't get it just leave him alone...maybe he will grow out of it. Even better, record a conversation with him and play it back for your family so they can hear how rude he is. Do it while he is in the room to see their reactions.

Answer 4

Atleast he recognizes when to show respect! He's a 12 year old, he doesn't get what he's doing. I know exactly what you're talking about, and yes, it does to a lot of harm, but just be grateful for the fact that he knows when to be serious.

Answer 5

My little brother was the same way. I think that he thought it made him look cool or hip by downing others...and when we'd call him on it, he'd get defensive and always say "I was just joking...God..."...

He's 15 now, and he's not so bad..still calls me retarded, but sometimes I deserve it. ;)

Answer 6

he is a child and he still needs to learn a lot of things. Don't be so sensitive...he doesn't realize that he is hurting people's feelings, perhaps you need to sit with him and tell him to be more considered.

Answer 7

ive gotta lil bother just like that hes 11 and im 13. he acts lyk a jerk 24/7, but my mom yells at me for being mean. it really gets on my nerves. if i tell my mom she don't believe me. he is a humongous tattletale.

Answer 8

HE'S 12! of course he's gonna say things like that. you should sit him down and talk to him about it and if that doesn't help, ask your parents for help.

Answer 9

just turn his insults around on him.
If he calls you stupid say something like "stupid like you when you...."

Answer 10

Tell your parents about it.