Moms what would you say to someone that left your child unattended, there was a fall, and then lied about it?

Question

I just started back to work. Our 23 yr old niece is watching our kids 4yr and 10 month. When I came home Friday the baby was very fussy, didn't want to be on the ground, and was having trouble crawling. I gave her Tylenol coz I thought it was related to her teething. This was very unusual for her. 2 hrs later I asked the niece if the baby had fallen today. She said "Yes, she was playing with her brother in the living room; when pulling up to stand she fell back. I was in the kitchen preparing her formula."That was that. Next morning I ask the 4 yr old if his sister had fallen down and he says, "Yes, she fell off the bed. Susie (the niece) put her on the bed and told me to play with her. She moved back too far and fell off the bed." When I asked where Susie was when it happened he said "On the computer checking her e mail".
What would you do? We are fixing to confront her and I am ready to leave my job of 2 weeks to stay home with my baby. It's not worth it. I thot we could trust Susie

We did talk to her about it last night. She was quiet through the conversation, after which she went straight to bed without saying anything, and cried herself to sleep. We went after her and told her it is not personal. We love her but just feel that she should have told us the truth. It is now noon and she is still not out of bed. This is unusual for her. I don't know why she is acting this way yet she was the one on the wrong. No apology, nothing. Well...
I appreciate all your answers.

Answer 1

Oh I am so sorry. Deciding to go back to work is a difficult enough decision and women get so much flack for it. At least if you can have competent, loving child care it makes the sting a little less. I would definitely confront the niece. She probably lied because she was scared, but that isn't a good enough excuse. There could have been something seriously wrong with your daughter. Her being fussy may have been an indication of a concusion and you would have missed it because you didn't have all the information. If there is someone else you can trust I would go with that person or if you are able to quit and stay home for a couple years you would have peace of mind. I don't know your situation but maybe you could work part time once they reach preschool age. Good luck to all of you.

Answer 2

Susie at 23 doesn't seem very mature for her age to do that. I don't know how much experience she has with kids. It's apparent she is not responsible enough at this point though. You definitely can't let someone keep the baby that you can't depend on. However, disappointing it may be she is not ready for this kind of responsibility and you should not trust her with your child. I wish you the best in your situation. I know it's hard to find someone you trust to care for your child when you are off away at work, but look elsewhere for a more suitable and reliable person. You need peace of mind when you are away at work and you can't be worried about what is going on all day. I wish you the best. It sounds as though if that's what you need to do is stay home that you will be doing the right thing in putting your child's safety first. I think you should just tell Susie you don't have a good feeling about the situation and that you can not continue letting her watch your child after that has happened.

Answer 3

Unfortunately as it is a family member it makes the whole thing a lot more difficult. I would explain that you are disappointed as the children were left in her care but she is obviously not prepared for the responsibility. I would say that she would need training to do this care as she obviously hasn't got children and she doesn't have the experience or maternal instinct to realise that it was not the right thing to do. I would also mention that you were even more disappointed that she could not tell you the truth and that lying makes a situation worse. If she had have admitted her mistake and realised that it was wrong, that is at least a little better than hiding it. I hope this doesn't strain the family ties. It is a shame you have to give up work if that is what you need to do or want to do but at leasdt you will feel happier about your children.

Answer 4

Tell Susie that things are not working out and would rather say home and take care your own kids. Confront her about what your 4 yr old told you and whether she admits it or not, tell her 'thank you' and that her services will not be needed anymore. It's very hard to make this kind of decision, but you have to do what is best for your kids. Good luck and don't worry, things will get better.

Answer 5

Confront her and just tell her things aren't working out. At 23 she should know how to watch a 4 yr.old and a baby. Accidents happen but she should have told the truth. And why would you put a 10 month old on a bed to play? Doesn't make sense.

Answer 6

A responsible, reasonable person knows that you do not leave a 10 month old on a bed with a 4 year old. A 4 year old should never be asked to watch a 10 month old. I would find a more responsible sitter. I hope your baby is feeling better.

Answer 7

i went through the same thing when i started back to work my kids were then 3 1/2 ans 1 1/2. my sister in law was baby sitting my boys while i worked. everyday i would ask her how the day went and she would give me them same answer the boys were great! i would also ask my oldest how the day went and he would tell me. when you confront her give her a list of rules. like she can use the computer only when the kids are napping(at least the baby), have her write down when the kids sleep what they eat. i quit my job but for other reasons than a bad babysitter. honestly if you can afford for you to stay home you should do it, your kids will grow up so fast and you'll miss it. good !

Answer 8

I would talk to your niece. She is old enough to know better! I would also find someone else to watch your children. There are a lot of small family setting daycares that would be willing to watch your children Im sure. However in that case. you have to decide if it would be worth it to put 2 children in daycare for the pay that you get. If you come out short or even, you are better off staying home with the two.

Answer 9

Yeah you're from the south because you said 'fixing to' so am I! Anyway, I think you should confront her because that is not tolerable with babysitters. Maybe you could give her a second chance though because that's not the worst thing you could do. Just call her frequently to see what she's up to. If no one answers that either means she's out of the house or she didn't want to answer because she was probably doing something wrong. I mean everybody makes mistakes.

Answer 10

This is why I am a stay at home mom.. I don't trust ANYONE to watch my kids. Your niece sounds very irresponsible for 23... I wouldn't let her watch the children anymore. I would find someone else you trust. Good Luck!