What should I say?

Question

So, I'm getting a dog next month, its a show dog and we thought that might be a lot to handle so we decided on a co-ownership. We get the dog for 1/2 price, we get to keep it at our house and we both get to take it to shows.

But, last week we talked about a dog training thing for me to attend with him. I cant drive, so my dad said I could ride with him, but since they dont know the guy that well they wanted met to bring a friend along. I told the breeder that I MIGHT be able to come. But, then my friend cancelled out and my dad wouldnt let me go with the breeder alone. So, I told him I couldnt go. He wrote back in an email to me mad and dissapointed saying that reservations were already submitted and he was wondering how a co-ownership would work if I have already dropped on something important.

I told him the reason I couldnt go was because of a prior commitment, but now what do I say because I'm afraid he might get mad and not let us have the dog. What should I say to him?

Answer 1

you should just tell him the truth.
you and your parents both dont feel comfortable with you and him alone.
its not rude.
he SHOULD understand.
why cant one of your parents go with?

Answer 2

First of all, be very careful of co-ownerships. They often turn out badly and many long time friendships have been broken over them. There have been many lawsuits too. AKC strongly discourages them for that reason. It sounds to me like your father is being very wise here and that breeder knows that you are only young. My concern is that he is pressuring you to go with him alone. Maybe he's a great guy and maybe he's not.

It is obvious from your post that there is already trouble on the horizon. I would look for another breeder. He KNOWS you want that puppy and he is using your emotions here. I will give you some sage advice from one who has been in your shoes. Do NOT get into a co-ownership with anyone. Buy the dog outright. Otherwise, you may find that you spend all your money training and showing the dog and then the co-owner makes all the decisions on breeding, etc. and you may not like the choices he/she makes.

You sound like an ideal candidate for a show puppy and your heart and mind are on the right track. Just don't let anyone take advantage of you and I believe that is exactly what this man plans to do. You should tell him the truth - that your father has concerns about you going out alone with him. If he is a nice person, he will understand that. If he acts like a jerk, then you know your father's concerns are justified. Caveat Emptor! Let the Buyer Beware!

Answer 3

Tell him the truth. Don't worry about him getting mad. Every single one of us has been in a situation many times where we HAD to tell someone something that made them mad. That's part of life. :)

He might be mad at first, but any decent human being will understand the circumstances in this case, even if not immediately. You're obviously a young lady and your parents are concerned. They have every right to be. I'm sure you understand why. If not, you'll understand MUCH better when you get a little older.

I think it's important that your parents get to know the person before you enter into such a commitment with him. I can't help but feel that the commitment might be more beneficial to him than to you. Are you incurring any and all expenses related to the dog? Does he pay anything towards the care?

I thinnk you might be better off just adopting your own dog from the Humane Society. It will be YOUR dog, and it will even have all its shots and won't have it's reproductive organs! lol

Answer 4

for people who own and show (and breed) dogs, this is a matter of life and death. if you don't eat for a week to get your dog through a show, it's a sacrifice they are more than willing to make. to you it may seem obsessive behaviour, but to them, that's the way to get to the top.
if you can't commit 100%, and it isn't your fault, then the deal has fallen through. there are many other places where you can get a dog, and if you want to compete with it, why not get a sheltie, or something like that, and go into the sport of agility? it would just be you and the dog, no one else telling you what to do.

Answer 5

I think you should be honest and explain to him that you are a minor and your parents are not comfortable with letting you go alone with him because they don't know him. He should understand especially if he has children. If not then you shouldn't care because who knows he may not be what he seems and you could get hurt or worse. It's scary out there and you really can't trust anyone now a days. I would see if maybe he could come to your house and your parents could get to know him better and maybe over time it won't be an issue. However you should trust your parents on this and also be honest with him.

Answer 6

You should just tell him the truth. If he is worth co-owning with, he will understand and agree that a young female should not be left alone with a virtual stranger who is male. If he was smart, he'd realize that a chaperone would also reduce the possiblility of people making inappropriate implications. In other words, it would cover his butt. I had an uncomfortable situation with a horseback riding instructor once. I was watching my cousin with her instructor, and he made very inappropriate comments and gestures. You should be protected from that, and I understand your Dad's point of view, and also agree with him. In my opinion, if he won't share his dog and knowledge with you because of your parent's perfectly rational concern for your safety, find another dog. Let me know what breed, and your general location (NOT address) and I will help you find one. Good luck!

Answer 7

Co-ownership of a dog is a BAD idea. The breeder did not do this for your benefit--it is for his. You will have to spend the time and money to show the dog and get him/her championed, and then when he is of breeding age, the breeder will want to pick the mate and take home half the profit from puppy sales while you'll be stuck with all the work of whelping the puppies and taking care of them, and I would venture to guess that this breeder is going to expect you to breed your dog whenever he says whether you want to or not. Get out of the deal while you still can. If you can't afford to buy your puppy outright, you're not ready for this kind of responsibility. NO reputable breeder would be dealing with a child--he would be working with and through your parents. It is complete out of line for an adult to be sending a child angry emails for ANY reason.

Answer 8

tell him the truth. Any male will understand why your uncomfortable going alone. He probably isn't thinking the way most of us are because all the thoughts are based around the dog.

Tell him the truth, you maybe surprised with his response and understanding. If he is not understanding then the co ownership is not a good idea.

Answer 9

I would contact the breeder and inform them of your parent's wishes and what happened and ask them for advise. With breeders honesty is the best thing. I'm glad you did not go to a back yard breeder, I hope others read this and will consider doing the same.

Answer 10

I don't know if I'd want to deal with him anymore. It seems like he has an anger issue, and if that's the case, neither you NOR the dog need to deal with him. Let someone else have the dog and deal with the guy perhaps??? Good luck.

Answer 11

Show breeders want their puppies to be trained correctly for the ring, and this should start when they are young. If you can't commit to his terms, then maybe finding another breeder to deal with would be best.