they are always buying my daughter stuff, they bring presents over almost every other day.
I have tried talking to them about it, and it doesn't help.
I dont' mind them getting her stuff every once in a while but its getting to be to much.
She is a brat whenever she comes back from their house, and always acts out and doesn't listen. because they let her get away with everything and anything.
We have been cutting back time with them and not letting her spend so much time with them. kind of hard when they live a few doors down and come over anyways.
last night she spent the night at their house, today they pull up in the van and bring in 2 bags of chips, fruit rollups, juice, gum, watermelon, sugar filled cereal, cookies, and a new movie.
then she she goes over to help with the veggie garden and comes home with new sunglasses and a bag of donuts and popcorn!
is this to much or is it just me !??!
My dad made the comment, "this is what happens when i don't see her for a few days"
2007-07-21 13:02:10 · 13 answers · asked by 3 girls call me mommy 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
When they bring over all those "goodies", just say thank you and put them away in a tall cupboard. Your daughter shouldn't be eating all that stuff on such a consistent basis. Save it for "special times".
If they come over to the house and you have other things to do than watch them spoil your daughter, just politely tell them that now is not a good time. Say something like, "Hi guys. Its nice to see you, but I was just about to have little Sarah help me with some chores. Why don't you call us later and we'll plan dinner together later this week."
As far as the gifts..... I guess that's what grandparents are for. Spoiling the heck out of our kids! You may want to try having another talk with them about it. A good sit-down stern talking. Let them know that you and your husband GREATLY appreciate all the fun things they buy for your daughter, but its near impossible to teach her about responsibility and earning things when she's constantly given presents for no reason at all.
2007-07-21 13:46:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least your children have grandparents...Let them spoil her. They wont be around forever trust me she wont remember the gifts but she will remember the love. You are her parent, she must listen to you. When the grand-parents do this wait till they leave and tell your daughter YOu know what best for her and right now she can not have it. Put it up and if you get a stock pile of crap, have your daughter box it up and give it to children who are less fortunate. I do this to my children and at christmas time before they can come up with a wish list they must put toys of equal value (not Mcdonalds or dollar store stuff) in a basket and we all go down and put the items under the salvation army wish tree. This has done wonders for my children...and it also make them think if they really want it. As far as the food...you dont have to let her eat it.. you can also give these items to a church or catholic chartities. My childrens grandparents were the same way and the more they knew I didn't like it the more they did it...and we would fight..now they are gone and It really wasn't that big of a deal.
Just remember you will be a grandma one day.
2007-07-21 20:24:29 · answer #2 · answered by dana m 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Like they always say grandparents will always spoil their grandchildren...I'm sure they enjoy doing this and have no bad intentions and doing this makes them feel good. The only thing I would have a problem with is the amount of sugar, so I would talk to them and let them know that you are concerned about this and it is not healthy for her, not to mention her teeth and ask them to please stop with all the junk food. As far as the constant gifts I would explain to them that you do appreciate everything they buy her, you just feel that it is to much and that you do not want her to grow up being a selfish and spoiled person...if they feel they need to buy her things then suggest a savings account or savings bonds to help her will college (the real things she needs in life). I hope I have helped and good luck with the situation.
2007-07-21 20:11:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anita G 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like when my children go to my parents house. I have learned, what happens at grandmas stays at grandmas. If my dad or mom want to send my kids home with junk food,I put it in the basement, and they can have it a little "here and there" I used to fight with myparents all the time about spoiling the kids with everything,but have learned that this is truly what they live for. Every Christmas,myparents have to rent a van to bring the gifts to my house. They can open and play with a few, the rest go away for a rainy day, heck my son just opened up a toy today from Christmas. My kids have fun at grandmas, and I get a break, and my parents take joy in seeing how happy the kids get when they can have a glass of soda or such, or a new toy that we cant afford to buy or such. So, while it does get to me sometimes, I just remind myself"It's at grandmas" lucky my kids dont ask for all the garbage at home, they know we dont give it to them.
2007-07-21 21:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by criley27 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's best to just be upfront with these matters and stress that you know they love their granddaughter but, it would be nice if she fill up on sugary food,candies etc... Tell them the doctor is concerned about her growth and you would appreciate it if they didn't give her sugary foods/snacks.. Maybe let her sample some of the garden things she's been helping with, or something like that... My in-laws buy inappropriate toys for my sons.. Toys with small pieces and junk toys that look fun, but are dangerous for my little one who's 1.. So, I finally just told them that I would rather them save up to buy the boys something age appropriate/special then buy things that break and fall apart... It just so happened while I was there my little one chocked on a vinyl spongy ball that she bought from CVS.. My point exactly... So, now for birthday's holidays etc.. I give them a list of things that are good to buy.. It's taken some time, but they get it now.. Good luck and be well.
2007-07-21 22:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is your house and your decision on what is brought in, just politely dump the crap in the garbage instead of bringing it into your house when they drop her off. they will eventually get the point.
do not let her stay the night if they can't respect your wishes.
just because they live a few doors down does not mean they can come over when they please, it sounds like you need to put your foot down.
i told my in laws almost 3 years ago that they cannot be with my children unless i am there because it got to where i could not trust them, i told them they had to rebuild the trust. they so far have not made the effort, leads me to believe it was not that important to them!(they were actually putting my children in danger)
2007-07-21 20:17:08 · answer #6 · answered by Havanah_A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to level with them, tell them that they are making their granddaughter into a monster that they won't want to be around in a few years.
YOu need to seriously consider moving to another part of town if not to a different town. Tell them that they have left you no choice, because you need to get your daughter away from their harmful influence. Don;t amke it an empty threat. If they don't start respecting your wishes for your daughter, you need to move.
I live in a different state from my grandchildren on purpose because I fear I would be that way. My daughters are good mothers and I know I would interfere if I were too close.
Good luck.
2007-07-21 20:15:21 · answer #7 · answered by Patsy A 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had this problem with my ex wife's parents. They would do everything for my daughter and get her everything. The problem I had was they would not do or get anything for my son. He is her brother, and yes the same mother. I put a stop to it when me and the ex split up. I do have custody of the kids. She get them every other weekend. I just told them if they take her they have to take him as well. So they stopped taking my daughter. They get her when the ex has them.
2007-07-21 20:14:15 · answer #8 · answered by Bones 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is natural for grandparents to want to spoil their grandchildren, but it does sound like overkill. Let them know how you feel and how your daughter acts when she gets home. With all the junk food, I would tell them you are concerned about her health.
2007-07-21 20:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by wanting baby3 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You tell them to stop buying your kids stuff ALL the time or you are going to limit their visits to holidays..That is what I had to do with my Mother and Father in laws..It was ridicoulus..One Christmas they came to our house with a trailer full of presents.
2007-07-21 20:12:32 · answer #10 · answered by Go 24! JG is Awesome! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋