All they do is hurt me in every way possible by starting rumors about me, beating up on me, & causing me to lose out on great opportunities in life. I have it when I forgive them & they hurt me again, & other people say that I put myself in the position to DESERVE to be abused by being too nice & forgiving of my family. They hurt & scam me worse than anybody in the world.
So by people being taught to forgive & forget, how can I if other people tell me that I keep putting myself in dangerous positions by contacting my family? It just hurts me so much that my family only loves me when I have what they want & then kick me up the @$$ once they get it. I'm tired of being depressed & crying over my family. I guess things are never going to change since this has been going on for years, & my twin sister hurts me the most out of my family, when we're supposed to be the closest. So should I avoid them for the REST of my life to prevent from being hurt again & blamed for being the victim?
2007-07-21 12:19:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Of course you should! In that kind of situation it's as if you got nothing better to do then just leave and continue your life. If they kill your opportunities, kill your ties with them. If they hurt you, walk away from the pain if you can. You can't just forgive and forget that. You know, maybe you can forgive but do walk away if it hurts you. I don't see a reason why you should stick around with a family who clearly doesn't want you around. So what if you are blamed for being the victim when walking away from your family for your own good and safety? If you can pursue something they never can or never will, then that's a huge gift and reward..
2007-07-21 12:27:37 · answer #1 · answered by DARIA. - JOINED MAY 2006 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of families are like this - but you don't need to be caught up in a sick family dynamic.
There is no law that says you have to be hurt by anyone, so decide that you won't be--physically, or emotionally. Once you decide on your fate, family (and others) will quickly find other people willing to suffer harassment, victimization, etc., and move on.
But you have to be willing to set boundaries, and face your own feelings. You didn't choose your relatives--you were born into the situation, and it's time to let it go. Best way to do this is to "detach"--- emotionally, physically (move away, no matter what the distance, even down the street-just away), financially (you should have no tie at all to them, or they to you). Screen your phone calls with an answering machine.
Do not "pick up the rope"---that is, don't pick up the rope at the other end of a family tug-of-war. Let the rope (or the phone call) lay there, with your neutral, and agreeable remark: "oh?" and/or "You may be right."
Find other pastimes, other interests, other friends, and other hobbies for yourself.
2007-07-21 12:33:17 · answer #2 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgivness doesn't mean that you should forget how you have been hurt. Forgivness means that you do not hold a grudge or get angry at the offenders.
It is possible to forgive someone and not allow you to let them hurt you again. It is called accountability. You need to draaw some serious boundaries with your family members and if they will not abide by them then you distance your self from them.
I hope this helps.
2007-07-21 15:11:43 · answer #3 · answered by annetm2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Moved out from your family. You have your own life. You deserve to be happy and living freely with your family. It's not bad to forgive as long as people don't took advantage of you. There are also certain limitations up to when you forgive or be nice to people right away especially on your situation. Better if you live your own and just see them once in while because living with them you'll will just ruin your life instead of having a living normal life.
2007-07-21 14:51:03 · answer #4 · answered by ☺ĦЄŖ§ĦЄ¥☺ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could ignore them for a good long time. It is hard to though because you are caring person and want to have a good family. We all do. Don't call them. Let them call you and if they are disrespectful to you then hang up after telling them you will NOT be treated that way. You can't keep going on being hurt by them.
2007-07-21 17:34:07 · answer #5 · answered by Patti C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes distance helps. I dont talk to all of my family. It sounds like you have a grip and you know that your family brings you down. Whejn I stopped talking to my family I was happier then ever. Take a break from the drama and have fun.
2007-07-21 13:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by hollygolightly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend has a family like this. They've pretty much ruined her life. They've also made it easy for her to sit around and feel sorry for herself.
Get into talk therapy and separate yourself from your family. Also, there's a great book called How to have a great life when your childhood sucked . . .or something like that. You should read it.
2007-07-21 12:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sound like it would be the only sensible thing to do. Just keep away from them until they can prove that they are worthy of you. And even then don't give them what they want from you. It might sound cruel, but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
2007-07-21 12:25:07 · answer #8 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The media does this to get scores, which interprets into advertising revenues. Media intrusion is between the fees that celebs pay for his or her fulfillment. in case you do no longer like it, you could continuously watch (or hear to) something else.
2016-09-30 10:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what is best for you . what has your doctor said? remember youn are number 1
2007-07-21 14:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by Grand pa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋