I'm 17, still living at home. There are times when I physically don't feel so hot like any normal person. It's not often, but still I usually keep it to myself. I don't like telling my parents when I'm sick or feeling bad. My mom hates it, but I feel like I should bear my burdens alone. I don't feel like they should have to worry about me. I guess it's their "job," but I'm a "big girl" now. I might be sick, but I feel like I should deal with that. They have other things to be concerned about, not any of my issues. Don't get me wrong, mom's not concerned about petty headaches or stuff like that, but stuff she considers worth knowing. The only time I say something is when it's just really really bad, something like my arm is hanging on by only a piece of skin. (not really, but you get my point.)
Do you think the way I feel is fair to them? I just don't want them to worry about me. I feel as if I should be able to worry about myself.
2007-07-21 08:00:01 · 7 answers · asked by insidious_22 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Hi Insidious_22,
I have found that parenting and worrying seem to go hand in hand...even when everything is fine... my eldest child is a lot like you..and for some odd reason I seem to worry more about him because of it...my youngest gets a hangnail and he lets it be known ..my oldest could very well lose an arm..and would only tell me because I would notice the missing appendage...... ...I pretty well have faith in my youngest to let me know if something is really wrong..but with my oldest I am not to sure...which worries me more..... by any chance have you thought about this possibility that by you not sharing and trying to keep your mom and dad from worrying you could actually be causing them to worry more?...It is kind of strange how that works......
I think it is very nice of you not wanting to burden your family..but as a mom who has a child who acts similar to you ... I can totally understand your mom's point of view...what you see as adding more of a burden could very well be lifting a burden.....by just letting them know what is going on with you....
what you could do.. is let your mom know..if anything is really wrong or out of the norm..you will let her know right off ..that you are not going to take any chances with your health by letting something get really bad or out of hand.......
I hope you will talk to your mom about this and try to relieve some of the anxieties she could be having over this...Best of luck to you....... take care....
2007-07-21 10:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by LeftField360 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey. I'm a mom of 5 and my oldest is only 3 years younger than you are. I am really hoping that she never feels that she has to protect me by not telling me things. You are still there baby and a moms job is never done. Yes I do think that you are being unfair to them. I do understand where you are coming from as I'm the same way with not wanting to let others in but speaking as a parent, you are robbing them from doing their job; taking care of you.
2007-07-22 02:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by Stacey K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is fair. I'm a youth leader. I'm kind of the connection between both sides of the issue.
My advice is talk to them about this. Tell them exactly what you said here. It shows responsibility. And obviously they taught you well enough that you know you should go to them when you really can't do it. It's going to take time but they'll appreciate it eventually. And maybe even admire you for it. Make sure you let them know you trust them and arent alienating them--when you really need their help you'll say it. Tell them they have been great in that sense.
2007-07-21 15:10:54 · answer #3 · answered by Psyche M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you are 60 and your parents are 80 or 90, they will still be concerned about you. That's just the way it is. My mother lives with me because she has health issues. Even with all her medical stuff going on, she worries over me. Actually, it's kind of nice to still have someone who cares like that. Of course you should worry about yourself, but that won't stop your folks from worrying right along with you. One day you will be the one worrying over them.
2007-07-21 16:24:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I think you are very kind and sweet to try to not trouble your parents but you never trouble them whatever you do or say (well that is the case for me and my kid (we'us parents ) are there for our kids for bad and good times. we would be sad to not share our kids worries and so on ... so please do not feel like you are a burden to your parents you never will be and shouldn't in any way....
you are not yet a big girl ready to live alone so wait a bit longer say after university... yes you are mature but enjoy your parents until you can....
have a great day....
2007-07-21 15:13:02 · answer #5 · answered by nnnn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is something miserable like the stomach flu , then do not worry them because it is usually over in a day, but if it persists more than a day or 2 tell them so they can get you help.
2007-07-21 15:09:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a parent it is your job to worry about your kids. Heck I am almost 30 and my mom still worries about me like that. Just be thankful she cares enough to worry about you and leave it at that. Telling her not to wrry won't change anything. You can worry about yourself but they will always worry because they will always be your parents.
2007-07-21 15:09:13 · answer #7 · answered by little_sis1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋